"Beer makes everything better!"
--Sheila, the Barley Fairy/Mad Cider Bomber
"When you get drunk south of the equator, does the room spin the other direction? Let's go to Australia, have a few too many Foster's, & find out."--my mother (aka Steph)
Offended Woman, to Winston Churchill:"Sir, you're DRUNK!"
Sir Winston:"Yes, madam, and you are ugly. But at least I'll be sober in the morning!"
"I want whiskey!"--a recurring theme from Rose, in 'Cowboy Feng's Space Bar and Grill'
" WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause
of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead."--I think I got that one from Ray. Not sure.
"March is the month that shows people who don't drink what a hang-over is like."--Garrison Keillor.
"Hardware=the part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it"
--Dave Barry, "Dave Barry's Guide To Cyberspace"
" . . . and drink heavily in your off hours."--my former boss's advice on how to cope with my job.
"It's five o'clock somewhere."--Slash, when informed that ten o'clock in the morning was a tad too early to start drinking.
"Once during the Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and drink."--W.C. Fields
"They're sharing a drink they call loneliness
But it's better than drinking alone . . ."
--Billy Joel, 'Piano Man'
James: "Had a bit too much to drink?"
Anna: "If you put a match to her, she'd burn for a fortnight!"
--from the movie "Sliding Doors."
"I have become
Comfortably numb . . ."
--Pink Floyd (not necessarily about alcohol, but it fits).
"I stopped by a bar at 3 a.m.
To seek solace in a bottle or possibly a friend"--Indigo Girls, "Closer To Fine"
"An insult is like a drink; it affects one only if accepted."--Robert Heinlein.
"To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it."
"I can't stand, but I can walk a little!"--Gabe, during the infamous Railroad Tracks episode.
And Now, Courtesy of Ray At Joke A Day, . . . . "Why Beer Is Better Than God."
You don't have to wait 2000+ years for a second beer.
When you have a Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give
it away.
No beer has ever caused a major war.
Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.
Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over his
brand of Beer.
. . . and one from the peanut gallery (aka me): If you wanna drink your beer skyclad in the woods, nobody but the mosquitos can chew your ass about it!