MARRIAGE:
- "Are you happy where you're sleeping?
Does he keep you safe and warm?
Does he tell you when you're sorry?
Does he tell you when you're wrong?"
--Counting Crows, "A Murder Of One"
- "If this one doesn't work out, next time I'll just find a woman I can't stand and give her my house."--one of the members of Vermont-based folk group Woods Tea Company, on his third (?) marriage
- "The reason more wives than husbands leave home is that few men know how to pack their own suitcases."--Fannie Hurst
- "If you want a thing to be well done, let your wife do it herself."--Henry David Thoreau
- "If at first you don't succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you."--Stanley Walker.
- "You're married, you have a daughter, you're very happy. You don't need self-esteem."--Annie's mom, in "First Wives' Club."
- "It doesn't matter where the money went
That wasn't how she paid the rent "--the Wallflowers
- "Guns don't kill people.
Husbands who come home early kill people."--borrowed from Ray the Jokeaday guy.
- "From the first, the marriage was strange. We'd both expected rescue. And there we were both clawing at each other and drowning together."
--Erica Jong, 'Fear of Flying.'
- "Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable."
-- Oscar Wilde
- "Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands...but English women only hope to find in their butlers."
-- W. Somerset Maugham
- The morning after their honeymoon night, the wife says to her husband, "You know, you're really a lousy lover!"
The husband replies, "How would you know after only 30
seconds?"
- "Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures."--Samuel Johnson
- "Damned clever, I thought, how men had made life so intolerable for single women that most would gladly embrace even a bad marriage instead."--Erica Jong, 'Fear Of Flying.' Published in 1973 . . . things have changed a little bit since then, haven't they?
- "I see destiny is sold
Turned into a shining band of gold . . ."
--some song I keep hearing (called "Wrapped Around Your Finger" but I forget who does it)
- "Every day you fill him with your soul-stuff, like a pitcher
You are so exhausted.
Your voice my earring,
Flapping and sucking, blood-loving bat.
You peer from the door,
Sad hag. 'Every woman's a whore.
I can't communicate.'"
--Sylvia Plath
- Hag the Invincible's Opinion on Divorce:
"There's one thing you can say for crying yourself to sleep alone at night--it beats the hell out of crying yourself to sleep next to the asshole who made you cry in the first place."
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