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Nightmares
Many people wonder why the mind inflicts the most horrible nightmares on everyone - especially little children.
Above all to understand nightmares we need to know why we dream. We dream
in order to make sense of the world.
So when a child suffers a nightmare some part of their world just does not
make sense to them. They cannot make it seem normal. They need to have
a sense of how everything fits in. And when a dog that they have always trusted
suddenly bites them then they can be traumatized by it.
Generally it is not necessary to understand the symbolism of a nightmare.
The nightmare is a symptom of the childs insecurities. There has been a major
change perhaps in their life - such as a relationship breakdown, death of
a grandparent, moving house or starting school. Quite frequently the parents
just assume the child will deal with these changes and take them in their
stride. But how can a child make sense of these changes in their world if
no one talks to them.
Sometimes the source of the nightmare is skin deep. They must be encouraged
to understand every aspect of their fear. If a grandparent dies then they
should be encouraged to go to the funeral. Explain to them why they died.
Show them pictures of when the grandparent was young to show how people age
and eventually die. Although this is not nice it is perfectly natural and
happens to us all.
Nightmares are more common in younger children. Children tend to dream
in much more simplistic ways - and that mirrors the way they think. A
child may be deeply disturbed when a swan suddenly attacks them for no apparent
reason. But it maybe that the swan was protecting its young. So up
to that point the child understood that swans were pretty and white. That
sudden change in the childs world was turned upside down. So you have to explain
to the child that the swan was nice most of the time. But if it felt its babies
were going to be harmed it may get angry. The child starts off by learning
simple ideas then progresses to complex ideas involving protection. You just
have to explain them.
Above all they should be helped to make sense of the things which trouble
them. If the fear is irrational then they should be encouraged to understand
the WHY it is irrational. The child needs to be indulged in their emotions.
Telling them to ignore it and it will go away just does not work. They must
be made to understand it and then it will go away.
If the child has dreams about dragons then perhaps show them some pictures
of dragons. Then explain that they do not really exist. The dragons may
symbolize a child's inability to understand their emotions.
Children who are especially young will respond well to playing out their dreams.
Encourage the child to act the dream out with a different ending. Emotions
are often very complex and difficult for children to express. So just encouraging
them to replay the dream can show clues as to the source of the nightmare.
If the dream is about spiders then encourage the child to wave good-bye
to the spider.
Painting a dream to can help the child to release the emotional problem
connected with the dream. Children are coming to terms with new complex emotional
ways of looking at the world.
Often just reassuring the child is enough. Often the dream itself can scare
the child(it is a scarey world the unconscious)and even adults do not understand
why we dream. So it must be disturbing to children. Younger children especially
just want to know that they are safe. That the monster cannot get them.
The human being is an extremely complex emotional animal and the reason why
children have so many nightmares is because their emotional world is extremely
complex and difficult to understand. For a start off their lives are ruled
by two fascist dictators(parents). they are forced to take orders yet
must bite their lip when parents do not follow the same rules. They meet with
other people their own age and may be bullied, beaten and abused in the most
dreadful ways. If an adult pulls the hair of an other adult they may be dragged
away by the police and even imprisoned. If a child gets their hair pulled
they are told to go away and play nicely.
How can any child ever make sense of such a world? No wonder they suffer so
many nightmares. Children need to understand the world they live in. They
need information. They need to know what is normal and what is not.
Humans skate around issues, they avoid the fear, they run away from conflict.
What a nightmare does is to confront us with the problem. If we are
scared by dogs then they take us to a dog and stick our hands right in the
mouth, whilst making sure we see the blood(that's our blood) dripping down
the teeth.
So if a child has a nightmare about a dog it maybe that a dog has recently
snarled at them. Encourage the child to draw a picture of the dog they saw
in the dream. Ask them if the dog is angry. Explain that dogs can be angry
just like human beings.
Nightmares are a symptom of post traumatic stress disorder. So if you do not
treat it it will not just go away of its own accord. It may stay there festering.
It may lead to depression in the child and make them emotionally numb. If
children do not make sense of the world then they do not adjust properly.
Most childhood nightmares are responses to small insecurities and fears. Some
problems are real such as nightmares about wars, abuse or accidents. What
do you do in such cases. Well it is pointless covering up. You need to be
honest about the world as much as possible. When the World Trade center was
destroyed in 2001 by Islamic terrorists many children had anxieties and fears
about the world they lived in. Adults too felt they were being swept away
in an emotional tidal wave.
This was an event that really did not fit into the way the child understood
the world. The nightmare is a symptom of the childs curiosity about the
event. Why did this happen? Who made it happen? Will this happen again? This
was a REAL EVENT and some how the child has to incorporate it into the way
it understands the world.
Do not lie about the event. Explain it in terms the child can understand.
Explain that even adults do not understand why such things happen. The child
is probably more interested in what the event means to them - are they likely
to be burnt to death in a similarly horrible way? Explain as honestly as you
can. It is pointless trying to lie to a child about wars. If the childs father
is fighting in Iraq then explain that their is a chance they may not come
back. The child just needs to understand the world.
OTHER ARTICLES
Disturbing
dreams Nightmares in adults.
Confronting
fear in nightmares By Dorian Paul
Animals
in dreams Animals in dreams
Colours
in dreams By Urban
Hypnopompic
and hypnogological imagery Hallucinations and dreams
What
is the function of dreams Why do we dream
Heart transplants - The heart has a memory
Lucid dreams What are lucid dreams?
Communication skills Dorian Paul on left and right brain issues?
OBE's
Out Of Body Experiences?
Premonitions
places deep into the future?
Archetypes
and myths Jungs archetypes by Dorian Paul
Our
symbols fit our dream dictionary? Are we influenced by the dream dictionary
we use by "Comrade Bart"
Faith
and dreams By Weiss
David
Mandells paintings psychic paintings on major events
"Shattered"
TV reality sleep deprivation show.
Science
and premonitions Premonitions and astrophysics
Individuation
Working with a dreamer to understand their dream
Lucid
premonitions Are lucid premonitions more accurate ?
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DREAMS ABOUT FIGHTING AND CONFLICT:
FIGHT
: Aggression and assaults in dream analysis
GUN
: Dream symbolism and guns in modern dream analysis
GUY(unknown male) : Modern dream interpretation and the strange or unknown
man
INTRUDERS
: Intruders as symbols in dreams
KNIFE
: Dream analysis and the symbolic meaning of Knives
MURDERS
: Dream symbolism and killing
POISONS
: The dream meaning of poison in modern dream interpretation
POLICE : Police and their dream symbolism in dream interpretation
DEATH
: Dream analysis and deaths
FATHERS
: Dads as dream symbols