Okay, no one remembers the 1933 B&W British comedy flick by the same name do they? I don't want anyone getting confused when I mention murder and Kevin Bacon, when they're thinking bus wrecks... like the clods at the video store did when they fucked up my order!! Believe me, the evils of Set are nothing compared to what I did to those fuckers. And THAT was nothing compared to what I did to the assholes who gave me the wrong MANIAC movie! Some people are too incompetent to even be H.O.P.E.L.E.S.S.! As for this movie (remember, summer camp killings not bus accident prequel), it's the cult classic which started the pop phenom series, spawning EIGHT sequels (with the 9th due out in October), but doesn't even star the series' money maker! Though it does have Tom Savini on the FX job! Anyway, it all starts at Camp Crystal Lake, back in 1958: a couple of counselors sneak off to roll in the hay, when somebody comes along and kills 'em. Fast Forward to Friday, June 13th, "Present Day" (1980): despite the pleas of the locals, Camp Crystal Lake is about to be reopened and the new counselors are arriving (could be worse, they could be employed as "Camp Candy"). The new owner, Steve, is a skinny rail of a guy with glasses, a 'stache, cut-off jeans, and a bandana around his neck... there's nothing worse (well, there is, but not much) than a gay guy trying to pass himself off as straight. After focusing on the would-be cook Annie for 20 minutes, she gets her throat slit before even making it to the camp! I thought for sure SHE was gonna be the heroine! Well, guess that leaves it up for grabs. In a tradition that will last for years to come (20 as of this reviewing!), the counselors are taken out one at a time. Jack (Kevin Bacon?!) and his girlfriend finish fucking (with their dead friend Ned on the bunk above them) as the other 3 play a game of strip Monopoly (the way Parker Brothers intended it!), when the astounding Savini FX come into play as Jack gets an arrow rammed through his throat! Honestly, allow me to let you in on a little Hollywood secret: they actually KILLED Kevin Bacon for this scene! Yep, that guy in SLEEPERS and TREMORS, that's a robot. Yeah, Sean Cunningham figured it'd be more cost effective, and better for Kevin's career in the long run. Okay, Jack's girl gets a "splitting headache" courtesy of the unseen killer's axe. After the rest of the cast gets drawn out into the dark, stormy night and killed off (mostly by arrows... whose the killer, Robin Hood?!), we're left with Alice (so SHE'S the heroine!) against our killer: Mrs. Vorhees. She's a member of M.A.H.C. (Mothers Against Horny Counselors), because she blames neglectful Crystal Lake counselors for her son Jason drowning there in '57 and now she wants revenge on ALL Crystal Lake employees! Oh, and to close the camp down forever. But, after bitch-slapping each other around for a while, Alice ends their little cat fight by decapitating the old bitch with a machete (wonder if Medicare will cover that)! Alice passes out in a boat, and after she has a bad dream about the fugly young Jason attacking her, she wakes up in the hospital and we're left with the sequal-inducing knowledge that Jason is still in the lake... big fucking deal! He's been there since 1957!

Sequels: FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2, FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3, FRIDAY THE 13TH PART IV: THE FINAL CHAPTER, FRIDAY THE 13TH: A NEW BEGINNING, FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VI: JASON LIVES, FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VII: THE NEW BLOOD, FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN, JASON GOES TO HELL: THE FINAL FRIDAY

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: SLEEPAWAY CAMP or HALLOWEEN