This flick plays like a rematch for GHIDRAH: THE THREE-HEADED MONSTER, featuring Godzilla and Rodan grudging it out with Ghidrah, this time without the help of that not-so-little worm Mothra. It stars Nick Adams, an American actors whose lines must've been dubbed into Japanese, then ironically dubbed back into English. Well, at least they didn't pull a Raymond Burr and stick in his scenes in a badly edited attempt at Americanizing everything. Now, for the movie: A new planet has been discovered beyond Jupiter (aren't there a few planets past Jupiter already? Couldn't they be more specific?!) and some Earth astronauts are sent to explore. While on Planet X (birth place to all "Brand X" products and summer home to Marvin the Martian) the astronauts run into the FAGGIEST looking aliens to ever contaminate a Godzilla flick! They're fruitier than a roll of Lifesavers! I am momentarily distracted from their odd fashion statement when I find it convenient that the scientists who discovered Planet X knew it's name before even meeting the fags that live there... Anyway, the X-lings (as I call them) are in need of some defense from the evil tyranny of Monster Zero ("Ghidrah" to others), who's been wreaking havoc on their planet, so they offer to take Godzilla and Rodan off the Earthlings' hands for no service fee! In exchange, they offer to give the Earthlings a miracle drug which will cure all known disease! The X-lings pull Godzilla from a lake and Rodan from a mountainside, then take the two to Planet X, where they triumphantly defeat their three-headed foe and Godzilla does the infamous and ever embarrassing "Godzilla Hop", a victory dance that, thankfully, never caught on. Planet X then stabs us in the back, telling Earth to surrender immediately or be destroyed! This sends every country in the world into chaos and panic as the X-lings use Godzilla, Rodan, and Monster Zero (who they've been controlling all this time) like a loaded gun to threaten Earth with! But, thanx to "modern" science, we manage to break the magnetic waves controlling G and R (which would explain why Axle always wore the Charles Manson shirt) through the courtesy of loud radios and lasers. After we trash the X-lings' ships, G and R, no longer under X-ling control, go with their instincts and another 2-on-1 against Monster Zero breaks out, ending when the three take a tumble into the Ocean. Monster Zero emerges, tail between his legs and crying like a woman, as he flies off defeated. Then Godzilla and Rodan... don't reappear?! Does this mean they were taken to a watery grave?! HA! What do you think? The only real problems I had with this movie was the usual lack of monster footage (though Godzilla and Rodan both look better here than in most other old school G flicks), the "festively" dressed X-lings, and that damn American bastard Glenn... what a 3-D (dumbass, douche bag, dork). No multi-colored glasses needed to see that! Oh well, at least he brought an X-ling girl "love beyond computation". What a 3-D....

Also Known As: INVASION OF THE ASTRO MONSTERS; BATTLE OF THE ASTROS; INVASION OF PLANET X; MONSTER ZERO

Sequels: Actually, the older series of Godzilla flicks never really connected with each other, so I guess they're technically not sequels...

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: GHIDRAH: THE THREE-HEADED MONSTER or DESTROY ALL MONSTERS