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Halloween II

(1981)

Well well well, if it isn't a sequel to, in my opinion, the over-hyped HALLOWEEN. For the sake of people like me, John Carpenter didn't have much to do with this flick, allowing for the replacement director Rick Rosenthal (the guy who later did, heh heh, Michael Keaton's JOHNNY DANGEROUSLY) to take hold, bringing people like me more gore for our precious American dollars! Critically massacred and turned into Hamburger Helper, HALLOWEEN II is a good sequel, however, to me. We pick up where the first film left off, on that evil night of October 31st, 1978. After a quick recap of the last 3 or 4 minutes of the previous installment, we start up once more as Myers adds a few more bodies to his resume, continuing the spree he's been saving up 15 years for! Meanwhile, the injured Laurie (again played by Jamie Lee Curtis) goes for a ride to the hospital to get mended as Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasance once more) continues his pursuit of the knife wielding William Shatner fan. But, thanx to it being Halloween, the bastard can walk the well lit streets and pretty much blend in with the rest of the people! He eventually makes his way to the hospital to finish off Laurie, and add a few more notches to his belt, provided by a few stray nurses and paramedics! On a completely unrelated note, you know how everyone was watching the original B&W, THE THING in HALLOWEEN? Well, now they're all watching NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (original of course, since the remake was still 9 years later)... just thought I'd say that... Anyway, back to the story, as Myers takes out the hospitals sole rent-a-cop with the business end of a claw hammer, the citizens of Haddonfield take it upon themselves to riot at the old Myers place as some measure of revenge or something. Meanwhile, the cops continue their dragnet of the city... except for the hospital of course. Hell, Laurie's just survived a Myers attack, and the hospital has little-to-no security, so why bother checking there, right? Well, free of any real opposition, Mikey goes abut wasting the hospital staff, strangling them, boiling them alive, needling, stabbing, slashing, and draining them of their blood too, adding a little variety, as opposed to the first movie's body count, caused almost solely by an everyday butcher knife. Across town, at an empty school house, Loomis finds the words "Samhein" streaked across a chalkboard in blood. From here, Loomis is given orders to stay OFF the case. But, without Donald Pleasance, who will save Laurie now?! Speaking of Laurie, though still wounded and heavily sedated, she manages to hobble away from her room and escapes Mike, leaving him a bed full of pillows to stab at while she tries to think of a plan. Oh. and to show he's not completely brain dead, Mike slashed the tires of all the cars in the parking lot, making it impossible for the remaining two hospital personel to escape... make that the ONE remainging hospital worker. Wait, slashed tires? A couple of slashed tires isn't gonna stop me from fleeing the scene of a homicide and preserving my own life! I've drive on the fucking rims! Oh well. Mike does catch up to Laurie finally, then proceeds to chase her, though she manages to slowly but surely escape once more, this time hiding out in an abandoned car in the front lot. Back with Dr. Loomis, a nurse from the mental institute catches up to him to reveal that Mike didn't have just one sister, but two! Yes, for everyone who wondered why Laurie's so damned special to the big lug, it's because she is his sister, born AFTER he was locked away as a lad. When her parents died, she was adopted and raised by the Stack family. Hearing this new info, Dr. L has a brainstorm and comanderes the cop car he's in (using a gun), forcing the officer to drive them to the hospital. FINALLY someone decides to go look after Laurie! When Dr. L and crew (the nurse and the cop) show up, Laurie finds them, warns them of Michael, and Dr. L puts another 5 shots into him (added to the 6 he's been babbling about from the first movie, that makes a total of 11 bullets that Baldy's wasted!), knocking him down. He soon gets up though, to slash the throat of the overly curious and overly confident cop, then returns to the task at hand: Dr. L and Laurie! While Mike pursues them into an operating room for the final confrontation (not just a bad OMEN sequel anymore), the nurse radios for some help of the pork kind. Though getting a decent stab at Dr. L, Mike get's blinded when Laurie shoots the big shithead right in the eyes! Now, swinging blindly, Mike goes back and forth across the room, slashing like a blind butcher! Our heroes fill the room with some convenient tanks of explosive gas stored in the room. Laurie then escapes, leaving Dr. L behind to flick his Bic, blowing himself and Myers to kindom come, putting them both out for at least another sequel. It ends on a shot of Myer's burning cranium, set to the happy tune of "Mr. Sandman". All in all, this is one of the few sequels in horror that was actually neccessary, despite the contrary beliefs of many critics. I mean, when HALLOWEEN was over, didn't you wanna know where Myers went after falling off the balconey? Or why he was so intent on killing Laurie, when he could've easily stuck to random, hotter teenage girls? Also, if you're like me, maybe you were disappointed there wasn't more graphic violence or a higher body count? Besides, it gives an ending that allows both Myers and Loomis to take a vacation before returning in HALLOWEEN 4, aptly subtitled THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS. Finally, I'd like to ask one little question to all you Myers fans out there, "Why the fuck is Myers called 'the Shape' in the end credits? When is he ever referred to as 'the Shape'!?". On a final note, let me reveal my favorite scene of the movie! Surprisingly, it's not the scene where Mike drains the woman of her blood slowly but surely, or when he stabs the chick in the eye with the needle, but it's the scene in which an innocent trick-or-treater in a William Shatner mask resembling Michael's is pinned between an ambulance and a piggy mobile, then his pinched body is torched to a crispy nugget in the resulting fireball! I love to watch children burn, it gives me that warm fuzzy feeling inside.

Sequels: HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH; HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS; HALLOWEEN 5: THE REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS; HALLOWEEN: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS; HALLOWEEN H2O

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2 or VISITING HOURS