Influenced by the villainous character "Kabukiboy" from the Troma flick THE TOXIC AVENGER PART II, the wacky mofos at Troma Studios, Micheal Herz and Lloyd Kaufman, bring us this tale of heroism and culture shock. It opens with some Asian babe relaying to us an ancient prophecy that mentions dragons, cat riding monkeys, and something about evil ruling the world. This is followed with a typical Troma thug (with a long blonde wig and a machete) killing an Asian man and his family in their home, and babbling something about killing Kabukiman. The guy's wife is then thrown out the 4th story window and lands un top of a coke snorting stock trader. Not unusual for a Troma opening right? From here we jump to N.Y.P.D. Sergeant Harry Griswald who is assigned to work on the murder case that follows the attack. Harry then goes to a Kabuki play (it's a Japanese art form, trying getting some culture you monkeys!) based on "the Odd Couple" (HAHAHA!), where he runs into some trouble! Evil gangsters are here too, hoping to completely wipe out the whole Kabukiman legacy, gunning down by-standers left and right! With the clan elder fast on his way out thanks to gunfire, he has no choice but to transfer the powers of the Kabuki to Harry through a heavy liplock that probably left Harry questioning his sexuality afterwards! After this, me meet the boss behind this recent rash of anti-Japanese crimes: billionaire industrialist Reggie Stuart, who plots to fullfill the afformentioned prophecy about dragons and monkeys and cats (oh my!) and become, "the Evil One" and take over the world! Sadly for Rer Kabukiman still lives on as Harry Griswald! The powers are still new to him though, and become a complete pain in the ass when they pop out at the most inopportune times, resulting in comic mayhem and major wardrobe overhauls, taking on a much more Japanese flare! To help Harry out in the control of his new abilities is the grand daughter of the dead elder, Lotus, though neither of them seem too keen on the idea at first (but you know they'll wind up rattling the bed springs later on). The moment of truth arrives however, when Harry's would-be girlfriend from the force, Connie, gets raped and beaten in the park one day by roving thugs! After Harry too gets his ass kicked, he has no choice but to give in and become, SGT. KABUKIMAN N.Y.P.D.! After spouting out some horrible opera lines, Kabukiman proceeds to stomp an international mud hole into each of the goons, using his hurricane hand fan, the Kabuki Katana, flying chopstick flurry, and his deadly sushi bullets! Afterwards, Connie is taken to the hospital, but Harry can't be there to protect her 24-7, especially not when there's a "mistake" and she's overdosed on Morphine! This gives Harry the fuel he needs to get off his ass and clean up the city! The first target of his facepainted mission of vengeance? The "Reverend" responsible for the thugs who Connie's death. But, when he confronts the guy and his gang, the Kabuki powers screw him over, turning him into a big, fat, unicycle riding, firebreathing, birthday party clown! After a chase scene that includes a children's party and an exploding car (complete with Mr. T air-freshener!), Harry manages to escape. He goes to Lotus, promising to take her training seriously (which includes caning Harry's "nether region" as well as the consumption of earthworms) and be the best super hero dressed like a clown that he can be! Soon enough, through the utilization of Haiku (Japanese poetry for you classless vagrants) Harry learns to transform into Kabukiman whenever he needs to, and to control the abilities of the Kabuki! Who would've thought a simple Japanese stage art would contain such devestating raw fish based powers! With his new powers under control now, Harry cleans up the city one thug at a time, gaining the admiration of the people and becoming their beloved icon... moreso than Al Sharpton! Wait a minute... nobody liked that tubby black bitch to begin with! What the Hell was I thinking?! I meant to say, "moreso than the Toxic Avenger". This time, Kabukiman actually takes out the evil Reverand Snipes and his "misguided sheep" with the use of his pyro-projectile-parasols! Then he vomits on some lawyers and gets Snipes to confess (by threatening to stick the spire off the Empire State Building up his preacher ass!). Then, after he scores with Lotus (and I ain't talking Parchese) the babe is kidnapped for Reggie Stuart's evil ritual (though we'd forgotten about him, didn't you?), something to do with a nubile. Kabuki finds her with the help of Lotus's monkey butler and some back up cops. Despite their arrival, the prochecy still goes through, no Christopher Walken needed, and Stuart becomes the FX nightmare, the Evil One! Harry switches to Kabukiman mode and the anti-climactic final battle proceeds. But, part of the prophecy is NOT fullfilled, and big bad Mr. Evil One simply explodes. In the aftermath, Harry and Lotus hook up, and Sgt. Kabukiman continues his crusade against NYC crime. It was a great movie, well, a great Troma movie, up until the final scenes involving the horrible final battle. We wait all this time, watch Harry hone his powers, see the destruction and pain that Stuart has wrought, and for what? The Evil One stands in one spot, spouting sparks and flames before just simply blowing up... Not exactly the earth shattering battle I was anticipating. Don't get me wrong though, I do like the whole concept of our hero, as well as the screw ups and misfortunes Harry goes through just trying to fill a role he never asked for, but the ending just killed it! If Troma can stick out a sequel, maybe make a whole series based on Kabukiman like they did with the Toxic Avenger, then I would be a happy Death God! As long as at least one these sequels had a good ending! Actually, what would be great, is a Toxic Avenger vs. Kabukiman flick! They could throw in that mutant dolphin janitor guy who does their promotional stuff as a referee! Throw in some tits and a blind girl to beat up and it'd be a Troma lover's dream! I think I'll smoke a couple joints, throw on some Primus, sit naked in a tub of Butterscotch and write it up right now! "Do you know what's it like to be violated by a 300 lb. Phillipino skinhead named Gunther?!" Oh, on a final note, for the scene when Kabukiman/Harry eats the earthworms, that's actually the stunt mouth of Pericles Lunes, the guy who directed REDNECK ZOMBIES!

Sequels: Nope

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: THE TOXIC AVENGER or TROMA'S WAR