Man, ya gotta wonder when you see a movie starring a guy named Noble "Kid" Chisel. I'd be expecting a late 70's wrestling match or a mid-80's porno! Instead, we get TWISTED NIGHTMARE: a cookie cutter late-80's horror flick. We start with our humble narrator (who talks with pauses... like Shatner!) telling us that there's this big nasty "evil power" that's been around forever and it lives at... Camp Paradise. Bullshit! That's just the excuse the counselors use when they get caught molesting the campers. Anyway, 7 couples (so, that's 14 people... unless you use the metric system, then I'm lost) receive mysterious invites to the camp for a little reunion party. Ya see, it seems that most of these guys all knew each other and went to Camp Paradise in their summers. Once hearing this, you know that they're all gathered so someone (maybe even one of them) can exact some kind of terrible revenge for something they did in the past! Anyway, to add to our wacky cast is Caine (who's very protective of his pussies), the caretaker of the camp who has made the barn off-limits (yeah, like that ever stops the cast from going there and winding up dead). Sure enough, to go with the "something bad happened and someone's out for revenge" concept, we learn that one of the girls (Laura)'s mentally defective bro Matt used to go to the camp too. That is, until one day the group's taunts and torments made him run off crying like a little pussy! He ran to the barn, where he proceeded to... SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST (and not a Tobe Hoper in site)! So, it reads like this: long ago, Caine's grandfather cursed as Indian burial locale. Years later, Camp Paradise was built over said burial ground (No! Not the second worst zombie movie ever!)... why, I have no idea. Anyway, this means that the "evil power" has a new home, and Matt's fat retarded rage or something set it off, getting himself burned alive. But, it didn't kill him. Instead, it made him into a monster and as a token of spite Laura invited all those ridiculing bastards back to the site of it all so they could pay the price (about $.75/lb should do)! Well, Matt lynches, clubs, electrocutes, slices, impales, and dices everyone until after taking some 30 gun shots and a pitchfork through the gut, Caine finally takes him down by blowing the brother-sister duo to yummy snack sizes. This is a pretty standard flick, but it's got a good kill count (only one person out of a possible 18 survives!) and more tits than you can shake an erect penis at! So, it should keep the gore whores busy for a while. Also, you should pick this up if you ever wanted to see Leatherface in a trench coat (that's what Matt looks like).

Sequels: Nope

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3 or HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS