Why The Current State Of Horror Sucks: A Tomb Of Anubis Editorial Bitch-Fest

It's sad to know that a horror legend like Romero, Godfather of the modern zombie epics, is stuck to Direct-to-Video projects (i.e. BRUISER) in today's tragic era of pretty boys and cutesy girls. It's like Babe Ruth gettin' knocked down to the farm teams damn it, it's just not right. Is there still a place for men like Romero in this world dominated by "Party Of Five" and "Buffy" cast members running around like idiots and killing hook-handed douche bags dressed in $5 Halloween costumes? As much as I want to say that old dogs like Romero can still pull off the great American horror flick, I'm gonna have to say no. Unless George can come to the realization that the only thing he does right is zombie movies and get his ass in gear making TWILIGHT OF THE DEAD, then I fear he's long past his prime and the world's just passing him by. Sure, he can still make money signing VHS copies of DAWN OF THE DEAD Collector's Edition, but as far as movies go, it's either the undead or the highway for Mr. George Romero. It's not just George either, as all my horror legends are alienated on video store shelves, unallowed to create theater worthy productions unless they COMPLETELY sell-out like that prick Wes Craven and go limp-wristed pussy on us.

Just look at Tom Savini. The man was a staple of big horror in the '80s, pulling FX and make-up work for such films as FRIDAY THE 13TH, CREEPSHOW, DAWN and DAY OF THE DEAD (yes, I know DAWN was technically late-'70s, so don't e-mail me with your pissing and moaning) and others. In the '90s he was featured in the big budget fang-fest from Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez, FROM DUSK TILL DAWN and made his semi-classic remake of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD. But, so far things aren't looking good for Tom, as the latest I've seen from him was the horrendous DAWN OF THE DEAD off-shoot CHILDREN OF THE LIVING DEAD... which I doubt he'll be putting on any future resumes. John Carpenter I'm not even going to bother discussing, as he went from putting out one of the most influential horror suspense flicks on 25 years to sell-out bullshit like VAMPIRES and GHOSTS OF MARS. Tobe Hooper? Also the father to another of the biggest and most influential horror flicks in 30 years, THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, he's had a lot of misses since. The last thing I saw with his name on it? That's right, Direct-to-Video waste of tape CROCODILE. Across seas we have Dario Argento, who continues to throw lifesavers to the cerebral horror fans, giving up giallo for those who still crave it. If you're a fan of heavy gore and carnage, then you'd be better off hopping your time machine and living the rest of your days trapped in the '80s, because ever since the MPAA became excessively whiny and Lucio Fulci went 6 feet under, gore's been heavy on the downside.

There is still hope though. I recently saw Clive Barker in an interview where he complained about the toned down nature of modern horror and how he's producing several movies that will go back to the grassroots splatter campaigns seen in such movies as his 5 star sadist's sanctuary HELLRAISER. Will these ever see the light of day? Only time will tell. Also, provided the damn thing ever finds a release, Rob Zombie could just save us all with his HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES, which is supposed to be a film in the vein of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE. Could brutal cinema be on the comeback? What do I look like, a gypsy?! Until then, I guess we'll just have to settle for the video stores. On the plus side, Stuart Gordon and Brian Yuzna have been putting out D-t-V movies for a long time now, so they have an old hand at it and use that experience to make the most of their meager budgets. And honestly, I'm perfectly fine with that... for now.