See You in Yell
By Robert Yell

Hello. This is the second instalment of See You in Yell - your indispensable guide to a better CSlam life. I seem to remember making vague promises in the first edition of weekly updates - well, it’s exactly one week since the last See You in Yell, and I don’t think I’ve changed the world quite yet. But soon my children… soon. *Strokes white cat*

I was casting around for something to write about - the trouble is that all of a sudden CSlam-related articles are proliferating like never before, what with CNN and CN&V carrying numerous well written, interesting pieces of work. And Quint has a column.

So, I thought, what can I bring to the table that no-one else can? Well, unlike every other CNN reporter, I slam under the same name. Yep, that’s me over there in CCW.

I could have made a slammer under a different name, and gone ‘undercover’, so to speak, but eh - I don’t give a shit. Pseudonyms are getting boring, and I really don’t have the willpower to keep my mouth shut. Plus it pisses me off when a guy denies totally, and repeatedly, that they aren’t someone, even when you know they are.

However, I won’t make anything of my slamming career, as that would be self-promotion, which I’m not gonna do (at least, not quite that blatantly).

So, what else could I talk about? Hmmm… it’s tricky. Others have covered just about every subject I can come up with. The utter crapness of CGW, the Cage of Rage fiasco, what makes a legend, all covered, and in most cases by people more qualified than me, goddamnit.

Then I had a stroke of inspiration. What is one of the most important things to your character on the flash-boards, and potentially the best source of material for role-playing?

Gimmicks! Some people have great gimmicks, ones that make you say, “Damn, I wish I’d thought of that”. Sadly, a much larger heap of people have a “Goth” gimmick, in one of its many god-awful incarnations, and a load of people have no gimmick at all, or even worse, they use a real wrestlers gimmick.

Every slammer that uses a real life wrestler, whether it’s the Rock, Austin, Jericho, Sting, whoever, for their gimmick should be neutered. There’s absolutely reason to use their catchphrases, or their music, anything. At least being Gothic is better than that, as long as you don’t head straight out and rip off the Brood, or the Undertaker, or the Dead Pool.

Hell, this is Cyberslam Fantasy Wrestling. You can be anything you want to be. A wrestling chambermaid, a disgruntled postman that decided to enter the ring to work out his frustrations, an ex-window cleaner - anything. Some moron even has the gimmick of being an ex-CSlam reporter…cough cough ahem.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with just being a common or garden wrestler, but so long as you don’t rip off a real guy, you’re laughing.

Once you’ve worked your gimmick out, then you can go nuts from there. Make up a bad pun for your finisher, think about a catchphrase if you like, and go mad on the boards with your new image.

Next See You in Yell, I’m gonna go into how to actually be better on the boards - think of it as a starter guide. Maybe that’s where See You in Yell will go…. I covered slamming last time, gimmick this time, flashing next time… it could turn into a rookie school.

Hmmm… well, no one else has done it yet, have they? Rookie school? What’s that?

I am

Robert Yell