"I swear he's got more emotions than Days of Our Lives..." ~Paul
"So THAT's what happens when you put Britney Spears and Austin Powers on the same set..." ~Danny
"Yes, but they suck WELL..." ~Megs
"Duck!" ~Catherine
"Oh, my god, what am I going to do with all this tuna?!" ~Erin
"Remember, you can't say 'on with his head' after you've said 'off with his head." ~Philip
"I don't think I've ever been thoroughly knocked up..." ~Megs
"In my personal opinion, overachievement leads to social retardation..." ~Em
"Bad leader!" ~Amanda
"That's my goal in life as a composer... I wanna kill a brass player. How neat would that be?!" ~Blake
"What about death?" "Kenny G." ~Discussion in Music History...
"Bagpipes are great because they're SO loud... they scare the heck out of your enemy." ~Dr. Dodds
"Whoa, Easter's in a week, ya'll... I've gotta go buy white shoes!!!" ~Catherine
"Our phone number is SMU-JAKOPER!" ~Blake
"I will beat you with the Holy Word of God." ~Jerry
"I'm not gonna go to Afghanistan, I'm a WOMAN! You see the boobs?! That means NO GO!" ~Riggs, after enlisting in the National Guard
"Hallucinogenic lightbulbs..." ~Ferg
"It's like falling in love... 'hmn, I hear an ideophone...'" ~Dr. Dodds
"Cory, cuss the light and make it turn green, please" ~Jonathon
"*!&#%$ !@#$# ****@ $&*#(@$*# light, turn green!" ~Cory (in response)
"Do you ever look at the word "fork" and not know what it means?" ~Mase
"You asked for it, baby, you got it." ~Simon Sargon
"Most kids make snowmen in their yards...here at SMU, this guy just made one on top of his BMW!" ~Mase
"I have a thing for bald women." ~Jonathon
"I had this dream in which I killed my girlfriend!!!" ~Dr. Dodds on Berlioz
"I should probably put on pants... but I'm not going to." ~Jeremy
"I remember back when I was a guy... Wait!!! I still AM a guy!" ~Dr. Dodds
"I AM PURITAN!" ~Ben
"I know nothing about vaginas" ~Ferg
"I'm now taking a dollar from you cause you're the biggest idiot ever!" ~Ferg to Ben"
"Yoda is not a muppet. He's a jedi master." ~Ferg
"Has he touched your boobies?" ~Baker to Catherine
"A-ha!" ~Blake to Ferg
"Bullshit Parade" ~Naveed
"Yeah, dude!" ~Naveed
"I had a dream about bell peppers last night." ~Meg
"How would you like it if someone cut YOUR balls off?" ~Ferg
"This man can touch the back of my throat wiht his tongue." ~Catherine
"Whorepuppy." ~Baker
"If Hitler had been accepted into art school, we wouldn't have had the Holocaust." ~Meg
"God Bless Texas!!!" ~Catherine
"Toni Morrison blows." ~Naveed
"Jesus Hank Christ" ~Naveed
"mmmhmmhmm" ~Naveed
"Indeed!" ~Naveed & Blake & Ferg
"I think I need to back my ass up." ~Stephen
"Swans are gay." ~Ferg
"I didn't mean to mock your waffle." ~Mark-S
"I'm glad that's a cold drink, and not, like, chicken nuggets in a cup." ~Naveed
"What shirt am I wearing?" ~Blake
"I'm one part gay, one part straight, and one part monkey." ~Blake
"Can I tell Ferguson?" ~Blake
"You were at my AARO?" ~Ferg to Catherine
"And you know where cows come from? ...other cows?" ~Ferg
"Shut up! Buffy's on!!!" ~Ferg and Meg
"You are so NOT my brother." ~Catherine to Blake
"44 big titties, big titties 44" ~Baker
"So now you can vote for Dame Jodi Dench" ~Ferg to Naveed
"I am your mother." ~Naveed to Blake
"What's my name?" ~Ferg
"Why? What size pants do YOU wear?" ~Naveed to Ferg
"Is that a remote in your pocket, or are you not gay anymore?" ~Jill to Ferg
"I'm not skinny. I do a really good job of looking lanky." ~Naveed
"From age 1-3 he was like, 'mmm... dada... beer...'" ~Naveed on Blake
"Hmmm... maybe that should be in a drawer..." ~Naveed
"It's like the penis game on a whole other level." ~Blake
"Do poptarts expire?" ~Baker
"Shut up and donate sperm." ~Ferg to Blake
"I don't like Chris and we don't talk anymore, but tell him I said 'hi.'" ~Trey
"I need to replenish my plasma." ~Meg
"Super Duper Overnight" ~Naveed
"YEAH, you can shut up and suck my tongue" ~Ferg on Catherine
"You get a fleur-de-lis... that means you're French." ~Baker
"If I were a girl, I would have so much fun getting ready for school in the morning..." ~Naveed
"This guy was raised in a tire or something." ~Naveed
"You have the emotional capacity of a doughnut." ~Ferg to Ben
"Ask again later... apparently the 8 ball hasn't seen this movie..." ~Catherine
"I thought I was wrong once... I was mistaken." ~Naveed
"I have a bladder the size of New York" ~Blake
"Tee-hee-hee-hee... I'm going to get crucificted." ~Blake "The Rev"
"I need to do some more burping" ~Jason
"That's too tonal!!!" ~Martin Sweidel
"You don't have enough 32nd notes in your bass line" ~Martin Sweidel
"If I were older, Dr. Ode and I would hang out." ~Blake
"It's a satanic fountain, don' cha know..." ~Meghan
"Don't try to glorify your gayness" ~Maryanna to Blake
"Blake didn't go to high school... Blake went to choir." ~Catherine
"Am I pregnant? If I'm not pregnant, I can drink this!" ~Blake
"I'M gay." ~Philip
"Reading is fun... can we start the story now?" ~Blake
"Lets blame entertainment so we don't have to blame parents." ~Jason
"I don't care, just don't sit on my bed." ~Jason
"Lesbian, bisexual, or straight, I CANNOT be on this bed with your girlfriend." ~Catherine
"She probably has, like, every disease ever." ~Katie
"...and you've had your calling?" ~Naveed
"It's over that quick, huh?" ~Philip
"Dude!" ~Naveed
"You may be 50% gay, but you're 100% man" ~Chris Rutherford to Blake
"I would seriously hope we would have a kickass party before the end of the next four years." ~Jason
"Keep it real." ~Mark-S
"People like it sideways." ~Ben
"The congratulatory chicken" ~Meghan
"If I were a ______ where would I be?" ~Blake
"You cannot relish in both holes" ~Jason
"That makes me happy!" ~Jill
"You're the people everyone 'boo's at baseball games." ~Jason