The Best Damn Gundam RPG on the Net

By Victoria Krasnow
Sundial Eve

Hey all you war monglers! What is a mongler anyway? Is it a diety, a fruit, an abstract concept too envolved for my underdeveloped brain to comphrend? Well. Either way, I perfer MAGGOT. It just sounds so much more... hmm. Evil.

So, anyway, I'm stumbling along the internet one day and I run into The Best Damn Gundam RPG on the Net ! And I think to myself: gasp! A challange. So, I follow the link to the website and immediately bombared with a dozen annoying pop-ups telling me to vote for Mobile Suit wars on Anime100! Oi. What a distraction.

After clicking out of pop-up limbo, I move on to peruse the content of said Best Damn Gundam RPG on the net. Afterwards, I laugh hysterical for half an hour.

Maybe it's my ego talking, but there's just not anything appealing to a game in which all you can post is your character name, your character location, and an action ( "climbing a latter, blowing up a colony, high-tailing to the toliet" ) just once a day to the GM, who then approves the message and posts it in the, what was it again, an update section? Gaaaah.

By Vincent Stefili
Space Monkey

Alright. You wanna hear the truth about the Generator? It's got nothing to do with this pansy ass, gritty your teeth in pain, shedding on teardrop bullshit we've got going on every fucking message board from Earth to L6. Fuck no. You wanna know what the Generator will REALLY do to you?

Start off with the radiation. Can we say "skin grafts?" If the heat of the concentrated beam didn't fucking melt you in the first place, the least you can expect is the removal of say... the first four inches of tissue occupying the outer shell of your body. Tone down the amount and you've just got some nasty burns. Sure your skin splits open, your flesh liquidates and bubbles like water on a broiler, and you are now able to truthfully call yourself a black American (charred meat/ crispy critter anyone?) but, congrulations, you've just severed every surface nerve in your body.

What next? Oh yeah. That whole staying concious 'til the last minute? I don't think so. It'd take, oh, point-zero-zero seconds for the pain to throw your body into brain dead shock. We've lost cabin pressure. That alone would fucking kill you. As you say buh-bye to the world, you start to convulse as all the chemicals in your head erupt into a shit storm and burn, like acid, that precious tissue you call a fucking brain.
No one notices the nice, sticky, foamy froth coming from your mouth because at the same moment all the liquids in your stomach heave up, until just the clear color bile of your liver is seen running down in thicky, gooy waves down your throat. Mmm. Tasty. Next comes loss of control of bowel and bladder (clean up on aisle 6) and all that other nasty crap we associate with well... we don't associate it with anything.

Why, you ask. Because it's not pretty. It's a cartoon series, we gotta stay pretty. C'mon people. Let's get down and dirty and realistic! Fuck apperance and Appropriateness. Jesus fucking Christ - heavy fucking forbid if we have to lower ourselves to the level of normal human beings sometimes.

By Katrianya Esperanza
Shadow Kitty

Not too long ago I was having a conversation with Stro on MSN when, surprise, surprise, the game came up. I came to the conclusion that we all may think that we're playing the game, but the game is playing us. How many of us sit on the edge of out seats, smirks on our faces, waiting to see what kind of response we'll get from a comment or action? How many of us are playing 3 or more characters, or putting so much time in we could probably draw the AD in our sleep? How many of us curse a player we know nothing about, because they said something we didn't like, in a world, no less, that doesn't exist? Makes you feel kinda sheepish, huh? lol What makes this game so appealing to about 60 different people from all over the world? To some it’s the chance to be some one they’re not, to live out a fantasy of being a hero and getting the glory. To some it’s the love of Gundam Wing and all it’s aspects. Some are just sadistic. Whatever our reason for joining the rpg, we came together to create, literally a novel, a story of war, hate, love, sex, drugs, violence, peace, victory and failure. I spend a lot of time in the chatroom, and almost certinately the topic of who the better writer is. We all have our opinions. But in the end, it’s not who has the best grammar that counts. It’s the story line. I remember after 9/11, Krasnow had asked on the message board if the game should keep going with the recent events and all. The answer was yes, apparently, and aren’t we all glad? * insert thumbs up here *

By Chris Din
Blessed of the Goddess

Ahem, excuse me, Victoria, but I've played in the best Damn Gundam RPG, and it's good. Trust me, it's been around two years now, and it's got a good storyline, combined with a devoted base of characters. The fact is, guys, that if it wasn't for those e-mailing RPGs, you guys wouldn't have as many RPers. Simply because the e-mailing RPGs are the first step for anybody. It's just that some of us are willing to stick around and teach newcomers to the Gundam RPG the works. I know I may get bashed for this, but you might want to shut up and try something before you pass judgement on it. I didn't with your RPG, and now I have to say I'm glad I tried it. As for 'The Best Damn Gundam RPG', Carlos changed that because the Top 100s wouldn't accept the language anymore. As for me, I'm only in a couple RPGs now, this one and Gundam Cataclysm, another e-mailing RPG. Well, I guess that's about it, Victoria Krasnow, now I hope that my little rant will help those of you who laugh at us e-mailers to keep your eyes and ears open before your mouth.

[ Krasnow: comment - in the future, address rants and articals to the audiance and not to a specific character. In other words, you can disagree with or elaborate on another person's rant, but don't write it like you're just intending to talk to that person. ]