Here on Earth (Fox 2000, PG-13)
Starring Leelee Sobieski, Chris Klein and Josh Harnett
Rating:
Two stars- The Leelee ratings effect is in full force, any movie she appears in get two stars to start.
Never start a movie with a Goo Goo Dolls song.
The people behind "Here on Earth" obviously never heard such words of wisdom. Thus, their little film, after showcasing moments of brilliance, delves into overwrought emotional points and outrageous cheesiness, much like a certain band's songs.
This movie tries to affirm that the most common geometric love shape is not the line (or the circle), but rather the cataclysmic triangle. To set this up, we need three strong, differing characters.
Kelley (Chris Klein) is a snobby graduating valedictorian at a prep school. After a day of classes, he finds a new car, courtesy of his CEO father. Of course, this is to make up for the fact that he can't go to the graduation.
Along with two lackey friends, Kelley drives through the rural neighboring town and ends up at a diner, which is housing the ragamuffin public school kids celebrating their graduation. The rich and middle-class mix like oil and water, and Kelley manages to get into a fight with Jasper (Josh Hartnett) after hitting on his girlfriend Samantha (Leelee Sobieski).
The two engage in an "American Graffiti"-ish auto race, without any rules, however. The finish line lies just behind two gas pumps, which catch fire and burn down the rustic diner (family-owned companies just don't have a chance in the age of the conglomerate).
As a sentence, the two boys must help construct a new diner, along with the rest of a construction crew. Kelley must live with Jasper's family, increasing the smell of conflict in the morning.
Kelley at first is a sulking mess of a millionaire, not wanting to even eat with the down-to-earth family. The boy's enigma attracts a curious Samantha, despite being in a perfectly fine relationship with the solid Jasper.
Curiosity kills the cat, and a fox like Samantha as well. Who could resist that Chris Klein charm, anyway? Trips into the woods showcase the Minnesota countryside, a place where bugs never bite and romps through the trails are a shortcut to young love.
To say there is a toxic mix of machismo is an understatement. For poor Jasper, somehow owning a heart of gold just isn't enough, and he takes it out on Kelley's face. The three perform the dramatic tango of love with variable partners for the rest of the movie, with mysterious calls from the doctor interspersed throughout.
Which brings us to why this movie isn't rated higher. The ending stinks. No two ways about it. Not to drive people away from this movie, but the added melodrama and tragedy could have been forgotten with much better results. Never has an audience benefitted more if they fell asleep since "Message in a Bottle," especially if you ask my mom.
But like the difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny, let's look at the positives. Each lead seems to be the only ones that could fill their roles. Hartnett is really someone to feel sorry for. Even the fact he never combs his hair doesn't deter any "you've been done wrong" feelings. Klein makes the transition from dumb jock in "Election" to bratty brain with little turbulence. Plus, for all the ladies out there, Klein must have found a "16-minute Abs" video, provoking even more envy from this reviewer.
Ah, Miss Sobieski. Leelee is summer: gorgeous, full of warmth and when she leaves the scene, it is far too soon. In a town where technology only brings troubles, the natural acting and beauty of Sobieski gleams like the sunset on a late summer pond. To say her future is bright is a massive understatement; she even made part of "Never Been Kissed" interesting, for Pete and Pete's sake.
Ignoring the horrendous plot twist, "Here on Earth" turns out to be a very easy romantic slice of life to stomach. the young actors bring a respectibility to the movie most teen actors (Um...Freddie Prinze Jr.) would not have.
The constant quotation of Robert Frost by Kelley and Samantha actually doesn't grate the nerves. Hey, at least it's not "Black Balloon" or "Iris." But even swinging on birches can be a risk if on shaky limbs.
Originally published in the 3/30/00 edition of the Northern Star.
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