Beep, beep, beep. The machine continued to beep steadily and constantly as the nurses fussed around the lifeless patient. There are numerous wires leading into and out of her, keeping her going. It’s hard to believe that only a few short hours ago this woman was up and about, leading her life.
“She’s one of ours isn’t she?” One nurse asks.
“Yeah, from Peads. Dr. Miles. The new registrar.” The other informs her.
“It’s awful. Do they know what’s wrong with her?”
“Brain Tumour. That’s what the consultant says, they’re waiting for a space in the operating theatre and then they are going to take her up. If they caught it in time then she’ll be okay, she might even be back to normal in a year or so. If not…” She trails off and as they look down at the limp body of the young woman they both know exactly what the ‘what if’ is.
“Is there anyone with her?”
“No. No one. A neighbour called the ambulance when she found the poor girl unconscious on her front door step. She had this letter in her hand so I was thinking maybe I should try and find out an address and call him. What do you think?”
“Give it here.” She snatches the envelope out of her hand. “Patrick Spiller, 111 Holby Lane, Holby, Bristol,” The nurse read out loud. “But that could be anyone. It could be her taxman for all we know. Do you think we should open it and see first?”
“No! We couldn’t! Could we?”
“Of course we could.” Neither of them moves and the envelope sits alone between them. “I’ll do it then.” Said one of the nurses as she impatiently snatches the envelope and rips it open.
“What does it say then?”
“Dear Patrick,” She reads. “Remember me? I’m back. Well, not in Holby but near enough. I’m in London. I hated Germany and after a few weeks I decided to come back but being the coward that I am I just couldn’t face coming back to Holby. Not after everything with Tom, I just couldn’t. So instead I set up here, got myself a new job, a new flat and cried myself to sleep every night. I can’t cope with life on my own and, though I never though I would, I miss you. I would give anything to hear a sarcastic remark of yours, to fight with you or even just to ignore you. I’m sure if I actually was back in your company again for more than five minutes I would forget all this and go back to hating you but night now I miss you more than I can explain. Can you ever forgive me? Can I have another chance? I do love you. Love Holly.” The nurses looked at one another, tears brimming in their eyes. What if there were no more chances for this woman? What if she would never be reunited with this man she loved so dearly? What if…
“Call him.” One said suddenly. “If you don’t then I will. I can’t just let this woman die when this man doesn’t know how he feels about her.” The other nodded and quickly put the letter back in the envelope as they walked towards the telephone.
It rang for what seemed like hours. Each of the nurses willing him to pick up, for there to be some hope left in this woman’s life.
“Spiller.” A man answered sharply.
“Hi, is that Patrick Spiller?”
“No. My name’s Patrick green, I just like saying Spiller when I answer the phone. What do you think?”
“I see what she means about the sarcasm.” One nurse muttered.
“Well, Mr Sp-“
“Doctor. And if you’re trying to sell me something then don’t bother. I’m a very busy man.” The nurse was half inclined to hang up the phone right there and then but quickly she stopped herself and remembered why she was doing this. Surely he must have some nice qualities if this woman loved him.
“Sorry, Dr. Spiller.” She corrected herself. “I’m ringing to tell you that we have a friend of yours who’s been bought into A+E here in St Mary’s.”
“Who is it?” His voice became a little more panicked at this information.
“A Dr. Holly Miles.” There was a long pause on the other end of the phone. “Hello?” She asked quickly.
“Not Holly, please not my Hol.” His voice softened, now the nurse new what she saw in him.
“I’m afraid so.”
“What’s wrong with her?”
“The doctors think that she may have a brain tumour.” There was a sharp gasp on the other end of the phone and she could almost hear the tears running down his face.
“I’ll be right there.” He said shakily and then the phone went dead. The nurses looked at each other, hoping they’d done the right thing.
Part five
Running, he headed straight for A+E, not pausing to apologise to the people he knocked into in his hurry or even to ask for directions. Something, some instinct deep inside him was pulling him along the winding corridors to where he wanted to be. Pulling him to her.
“Holly Miles.” He stuttered as he stopped at the desk, gasping for breath as sweat poured down his face from the long run from the car.
“Are you a relative?” She asked.
“No, I’m her…” Her what? “ I’m her friend.” Okay, so it wasn’t completely accurate but it wasn’t a total lie either.
“Well she’s been brought down from theatre and she’s just been moved to a side room. But first, what’s your name?”
“Patrick Spiller.”
“Okay would you like me to get a nurse to show you where she is?”
“Yes.” Manners Spiller! He reminded himself. “Yes please.”
“Jane!” The receptionist called. “Would you show this man to where Dr. Miles is?” The young nurse nodded and motioned for him to follow her. She lead him up a flight of stairs and to a small cubical by itself filled with expensive looking machinery.
“How is she?” He asked as they gazed through a tiny window.
“She’s still critical but now we’ve stabilised her and-“
“You can give it to me straight. What are her chances?” She looked at this man in front of her so calm looking, so in control. He could handle it, couldn’t he?
“The latest stats show that she has a 60% chance of waking up in the next 2 days, if she doesn’t then she only has a 5% of ever regaining consciousness and even if she does no one is sure of the long-term effects on her brain.” Patrick nodded dumbly, he’d asked for the facts but now he rather wished he had some false hope to cling onto.
“Can I see her?”
“Of course you can.” No one moved. “Go in.”
“I can’t go in there.” He panicked.
“Why ever not?”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Talk to her, she may still be able to hear you.”
“But what do I say?”
“Just talk to her like you usually would.”
“How can I argue with her when she can’t talk back?” A small tear slid down his face but he brushed it away so quickly that it was hard to tell if it was ever there.
“Just try, please? Tell her how you feel.”
“ I don’t do emotion.”
“Of course you don’t. But try.” He thought for a moment, gave a small nod, swallowed hard (it takes a lot to swallow your pride) and walked in.
“Hi Hol,” He said as he sat down beside her bad and held one of her hands. “What have you been up to now you little attention seeker? Honestly, I came down here thinking that there was something seriously wrong with you and look at you, you’ll be fine! Nothing worse than a hangover. And you’ve had a fair few of them in your time so you should be well prepared to deal with this. You always were a drama queen. Remember that weekend you ate too much Pizza and felt ill? You insisted it was some incurable disease and had me waiting on you hand and foot all weekend. That was, what, eight years ago now? Where did all the time go Hol? It only feels like yesterday.” Patrick wiped a tear away with his free hand. “Look at me, what a wimp! Honestly Holly, I always said you had the power to reduce a grown man to tears… But you really should have called you know. I mean if I knew you were back in the country…. I don’t know what I’d have done. If only you’d…” Patrick sighed angrily, there was no point attacking her with ‘what if’s when she couldn’t even defend herself, that really would be a one-sided argument. And he wasn’t here to argue with her, that was one thing they’d done enough off. The only thing they’d done enough off.
“Is there anything I can do for her nurse? I feel so useless just sitting here.”
“Well, Mr. Spiller, you could go to her flat and pick up some clothes and things if you wanted.” ‘Dr’ he corrected her silently as he kissed Holly gently on the forehead and got ready to go. For once it didn’t matter whether he was a doctor or not, he still couldn’t help Holly.
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