Random one parter explaining the gap between series 15 and 16
Dan Robinson whistled a happy little tune as he strolled along towards the hospital. He was wearing his best suit and tie, fresh out of some managers do or another. In his sweaty hands he clutched a bunch of wilting lilies. He was on his way to the hospital to see his beloved Holly as she recovered. Nothing serious the doctors had said, just a routine check up to make sure that the drugs Tom had given her had done her no real damage. He wasn’t worried because he knew that now Harvey was off the scene it would mean that he could finally make his move on Holly. Of course he had tried before but the timing had been all wrong. Now. Now there was nothing to stop them being together. She hadn’t really meant it when she had said that she wanted him to leave her and never come back. She’s not really in love with Patrick like she says: it was just a lie. That’s what Dan told himself as he stopped outside the hospital. He stared at his reflection in the mirror, amazed at how devilishly handsome he really was. Quickly he smiled into the glass, giving a flash of his sparkling white teeth and running one finger over them, checking that he had no spinach still stuck in them from his meal. This was it. He was finally going to make Holly his.
*-*-*-*
Ed Jamerson grabbed his bag and ran quickly out of the house, he had to get to Holly and he had to get to her now. She had been in hospital all night, alone with that creep Patrick and only now had he had the good grace to call him up and tell him what the hell was going on- the cheek of it. He knew how pleased Holly would be to see him; after all she’d been through with this stalker guy it would be good to see someone who really cared about her. Not like Patrick, Patrick had never cared for anyone other than himself. As he approached the hospital Ed slowed down, he didn’t want to be all sweaty and out of breath when he went to see Holly, he wanted her to see him at his best. He knew, just knew, that the second Holly laid eyes on him she would fall into his arms and whisper how much she loved him. She was lying when she said there was someone else, there’s nothing between her and Patrick, she’s just afraid I’ll hurt her like he did. Or so Ed told himself. Out of the corner of his eye Ed caught a glimpse of his reflection in the hospital window. He turned to face it, licked the tops of his fingers and ran them through his hair, just to make sure he looked his best. God, if he was a woman he’d be all over himself. Smugly he turned to make his way to the door, only to bang straight into Dan coming from the opposite direction.
“Ow! Watch where you are going you idiot.” Ed yelled as he massaged his nose, making sure nothing was broken.
“Me watch where I’m going? It was you who bumped into me and then you have the down right nerve to stand her and accuse me! I believe an apology is in order.” Dan said in a whiney voice, tapping his foot impatiently as he did.
“Oh look, I really haven’t got time for this- I am trying to get upstairs to see my girlfriend and she wont be pleased if I keep her waiting.” Muttered Ed
“Well I am trying to get upstairs to see my girlfriend and she will be distraught if I’m not there instantly.” Dan said smiling, glad that his answer was superior.
“Yeh well, mine will be more upset, she’s just been attacked and nearly killed.” Ed bounced back.
“Mine has been stalked by a psycho and was nearly killed by him.” They looked at each other and a spark of recognition flickered somewhere in the depths of their tiny mind.
“Holly?” the both asked simultaneously, voices filled with shock. Realising the competition that stood between them Ed lunged forward and punched Dan squarely round the face, knocking him into the wall and almost through the glass into A+E. Dan stood up, shook himself and was just preparing to retaliate against Ed when he heard a familiar Irish voice from somewhere behind him. He spun around and saw Spencer walking towards him, dressed in full medieval costume!
“Now now boys that’s no way to solve a battle. Here take these, and then we’ll see who the best man really is.” Spencer handed them two boxes and as they opened them they were both shocked to see two shiny pistols staring back at them.
“Spencer do you really think… I mean…. And why on earth are you dressed like that?” He indicated to the ridiculous clothes he was wearing.
“Well my friend, in the good old days this is how they used to dress when preparing to go see a fight. Medieval you see, the idea of fighting over a woman’s hand* and so I thought that I should get dressed up for the occasion. Plus, we are battling constantly for ratings with ITV, they’ve got blind date don’t you know. Anyway, that’s not the point; I am going off track here… Now, do you want to do this or am I going to have to hire to mad gun men to use the guns and do the whole hostage storyline again?” Dan and Ed looked at each other, then at the guns and then to Spencer. Surely this had to be a dream.
“Well, come on! The clock is ticking. Do you want Holly or not?” Spencer snapped.
“Yes!” The both shouted.
“Good, good, that’s settled then. Fight to the death it is.” Ed and Dan gulped. “ Wait a second.” Spencer walked forward and began to shout to the patients of A+E. “Come one, come all! Come and see a once in a lifetime sight, so much better than blind date! For one night only come and see two grown men fight it out over the love of a good woman: Miss Holly Miles! Two men… one woman… five bullets… one winner!” Quickly a crowed of the sick and the curious formed around where they were. Spencer turned back to the two men. “I am going to count up to ten, I want you to take a step on each of those numbers and as soon as you hear me call ‘go’ you turn around and fire as fast as you can (please try not to hit the crowed, we’re not insured) and who ever dies first is the looser. Got it?” They nodded, wondering what on earth they had got themselves into.
Slowly Spencer began to count, pacing up and down as he did. The crowed grew thicker and thicker and from one side there were some shouts as a few members of staff were trapped on the other side with a patient that they needed to get across and to resus before it was too late.
“Move out of my way!” Penny shouted as she pushed the stretcher through the crowed.
“Four, five, six,” Spencer counted as the staff materialised on one side of the circle where Dan and Ed paced away from each other. The staff looked down at the patient and they knew that they had no choice but to go across now, while it was still safe. They stepped forward; unaware of the immense danger they were putting themselves in.
“Seven… eight….” Spencer called as the staff walked quickly across the circle. On eight they were directly in the middle of the circle between Ed and Dan and directly in their line of fire. They are both such dirty cheats that on eight they turned round, both planning on killing the other without the risk of getting hurt themselves and before they had chance to see what was before them and alter their plans the bullets were out of the guns. Penny was the first to fall, then Mel and finally Barney. Their screams filled the deserted hospital and brought Holly down from her bed. Dan and Ed stared at each other in disbelief, had they really just done that? They looked to Spencer for instructions as to what to do next; he made the international signal for ‘carry on’. So they did. It was Dan who fired the first shot but rather than hitting Dan his shaking hands caused him to hit the patient that still lay in the middle. It was Leona, he killed Leona but still Spencer motioned for him to carry on. Ed fired again straight away, he hit Dan in the leg and as Dan bent down to inspect the wound he raised his gun again. Eyes down he didn’t see the young woman run into the circle and over the noise of his gun he didn’t hear her call out for them to stop. As the gun fired he looked up and saw with pain in his eyes who he had hit.
She lay on the floor, a deadly white colour as Patrick rushed to try and help her. Gently he sat behind her, his clothes absorbing her ever-flowing blood. He stroked her hair; he knew it was too late but even the tears of love that fell onto her fresh wound were not enough to heal it. Could it really end like this? She flickered her eyelids as she looked up at him.
“I love you Patrick, never forget m…” She whispered as slowly her head drooped to one side and her shallow breathing silenced. Right then all the spectators could see that Patrick too had been shot although no gun had been fired. The bullet pierced his heart and he was no longer the same man. Pain engulfed him as he sat with her still lying on his knee. After a moment he dared to look at Dan, they both knew what would happen next. Gently he raised the gun to his temples and with the remaining bullet he ended his life. The whole crowed turned around to the space where Ed should have been but like the coward he was he had run away.
“That’ll beat blind date any day.” Said Mervyn, the voice in Spencer’s head.
And that was that. The one way to get rid of all those useless characters in one fell swoop. Holly’s body was taken to Germany where Mervyn knew the police would ask no questions and the rest are stored in the boiler room, Ed is still AWOL, Spencer had to be deposed of having done his duty because he knew too much, and Patrick? He stayed for a while, a useless shell of the man he once was but eventually he too was written off. Not even Mervyn believed that the viewers were stupid enough to believe that he would get over Holly and having him moping around was not doing the ratings any good at all.
*Might not be medieval, have no idea- please no quoting me on it!