"Stop it! I was watching that!" The girl yelled as she snatched back the remote from the boy.
"Well, it's my turn then isn't it?" He replied as he tried to snatch it back but failed.
"But this is my best programme! I need to watch it."
"Do not. It's rubbish."
"Is not!" She shouted and pushed him off the sofa.
"Oww. Look what you've done. Idiot!"
"Mum," She called. "He swore at me!"
"Did not."
"Did so. You big liar."
"Stop it both of you." Their mother shouted to stop them fighting. "Or you'll both go up to your rooms and stay there until tea time."
"But-" They both started.
"No buts. Get along or go to your rooms." She slammed the door shut and returned to what she was cooking on the stove. Why couldn't those two get along for five minutes?
"That was a bit harsh Lara." Her husband said over the top of his newspaper.
"They'll never learn if you don't tell them off."
They're only children. Children aren't perfect."
"If you had to spend all day every day with them then maybe you wouldn't be quite so relaxed about it all. It's okay for you to swan off to work and then come home, give them sweets and play the good guy but someone has to enforce the rules and its certainly not going to be you." He put his paper down on the table and sighed deeply. This was a conversation they had regularly.
"Lara, it was you that wanted to stay home with the children rather than put them in a nursery. It was you that wanted to have another baby so don't blame me. Anyway, it should be easier now that Emma's going to school." He was right. He was always right. It had been her who was willing to give up her job to stay home and look after Emma when she had been born. Five years and two more children later she was still at home. She'd always said that once the children were all at school she'd go back but now with the new baby it didn't look like that was going to happen for a long time: if ever.
She hadn't planned it to end like this. The two point four children, the big house, the dogs, the working husband her at home all day. It was all so old fashioned. After Patrick she'd never even meant to get married. Put her carrier first, that had been the plan. But then she'd met Simon. She wouldn't say it was love at first sight because it wasn't. But over time she warmed to him. And then she got drunk, and then she got pregnant. And Simon decided they should get married, be a proper family. She could have objected but the idea of being a single parent didn't really appeal to her, plus, this was her last attempt at happiness. Only two years after Patrick's death and she was getting married. But it was her last chance at happiness.
Happy? Maybe not completely but she was safe and secure with this life. The children were wonderful, the house they lived in was beautiful, the money Simon made was enough to keep them all comfortable and even her and Simon got on well together. In fact, in time she'd grown to love him. Not with the same passion and desperation that she'd loved Patrick but she loved him all the same. Yet something was missing. For years now she'd blamed it on not being able to work but just when it seemed that both children were going to be going off to school and she'd be free to work she'd had the sudden longing for a baby. A baby that would stop her going to work for the next 5 years…
"Lara!" Simon shouted as he rushed past her to turn off the stove and stop the pan from bubbling over. "What is wrong with you?" He shouted.
"I'm sorry." Lara looked down, trying desperately to stop tears spilling over.
"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap like that. What's wrong?" He asked as he pulled her into a hug. She welcomed the safety of having his arms around her.
"It's just the fact that I can't work." Lara slipped back into the lie. It was easier to tell him that she wanted to work than to tell him that she would never be happy with her perfect life. Easier to pretend that she longed to be a doctor again than to break the heart of the only mad who truly loves her, the only one that has stuck with her all this time by telling him that she can never be happy without Patrick and that he was just a replacement.
****
"Morning Dr. Miles!" Came the singsong voice of the receptionist as Holly walked into the hospital.
"Morning Shelly. Any messages?"
"Oh yes! They need you to go and do the interviews for the new registrar's post at eleven and the chief executive has sent many messages hassling you for the new trolley wait statistics."
"Oh wonderful, what a way to start the week!" Holly moaned as she made her way to her office. There were many good things about being a consultant but paperwork, statistics and interviews were not some of them.
Consultant. Holly still couldn't believe that she'd got the job even though she'd had it for nearly a year now. She was a consultant at a busy London hospital. Nobody had ever thought that she would get past an SHO's post, herself included. She didn't have the ambition, the determination to do it: that's what everybody said. They all thought she was more likely to get married and have kids than try to further her carrier. And she would have. But it was the job that stopped her having kids, stopped her settling down. How was she supposed to meet people with these working hours? No, she was far too busy doing her job to worry about all that.
She had a good job- a great job-, a house in the nicer area of London, a fast car and good friends. So why did she feel so hollow, so empty? Most people would give everything to lead the life she did so why was it that every time she had a day off she spent it curled up in front of Eastenders with a bottle of wine rather than going out enjoying herself like most other people her age. It was the fact that she didn't have a boyfriend, or a husband. That's what she told people. And why didn't she have a boyfriend or a husband? It's the job. That's what she told people. But she only did the job because she didn't have a boyfriend or a husband, didn't have a family. That's what she didn't tell people.
Of course there had been men in her life. The odd doctor or nurse here and there but nothing serious. Even if she liked them she would dump them after a week or so. Always finding some fault or other that she couldn't stand. It was easier that way. So that she didn't have to explain to them why she spent hours in front of a photo album each night. Or why she wouldn't take that locket off from around her neck. Or why she still slept with that mangled old bear. She couldn't explain why she jumped every time the phone rang and then rushed to answer it.
"Dr. Miles?" A young nervous looking doctor asked as he knocked lightly at the door.
"Yes?" Holly snapped. She hated being crept up on, how long had he been standing there for?
"Sorry, but they need you downstairs, for the interviews."
"Oh yes. The interviews." Holly said as she followed the young doctor down stairs to the room where the interviews were being held.
"What's the first one's name?" Holly asked when they got to the room: not wanting to go in having no idea who she was speaking too.
"It's a… Dr. Spiller." Holly's heart stopped. It couldn't be… it had been seven years since she seen him last. But then he did have a habit of turning up unexpectedly. Six years after med school and he turned up at Holby, so maybe…
"What's their first name?"
"Umm, John. John Spiller." Holly cursed herself under her breath for getting so worked up at the mention of his name. Why couldn't she just get over him and accept that he was never going to get in touch? Why couldn't she just be happy without him? Holly sighed at the questions she'd been asking for the last seven years and walked on into the interview room.