Holly’s heart pounded noisily against her ribs and a wave of nausea swept over her. But still she kept on running. Her legs felt as though they had turned to jelly beneath her and every breath she took caused another knife to jab deep into her lungs. But still she kept on running. Her feet pounded on the floor beneath her, knocking out a steady beat in her mind and even though she pushed the floor with all her strength, moved her aching legs as fast as she could and pumping her arms up and down like a mad woman. She had to keep on running. Forever running but getting nowhere, running from the past even if it meant that instead of having a present she just ran. She felt so weak that she wanted to collapse but still she kept on running, fear pushed her forward. The fear that if she stopped she’d never start again, the fear that if she fell there would be no one to catch her, let alone pick her up. Sweat dripped constantly from her forehead, running down her face like tears had that morning. She ran until she couldn’t feel the aching in her muscles, until she couldn’t remember the way she had cried herself to sleep last night, she ran until all emotions drained out of her body and all she could think of was running another mile, another day, she ran until…
“Holly! Stop girl, you run much further and that machine will give up the ghost. It’s not made for the likes of you.” The owner of the gym where Holly was working came over and pushed a button to stop the running machine moving and as soon as it did Holly felt empty, what was she supposed to do now? He grabbed her arm and pulled her off the machine and onto the floor beside him. “You ran fifteen miles, Holly.”
“Really? That far?” She gasped between struggled breaths as she tried to double over but he pulled her up straight again.
“Yes, that far. It’s not good for you Holly, running that much. You put all your energy into it and you’ll be left with nothing else. You’re a wreck Hol. I’m saying this as your friend, not your coach. Take it easy. You understand?”
“I understand Jon, but I cant do it. You know I can’t, I have to run. If I don’t then what will I do after work? You really want me to sit around moping about what could have been. You want me to live in front of the TV like I used to in Holby, putting in all the hours at work I could and then sitting up all night with the TV blaring? This way as soon as I get home I collapse into fitful sleep, no time to think you see. No time for everything to run round in my mind. Please don’t take that away from me.” Jon sighed and ran his hand through his greying hair.
He’d never met anyone like Holly before and he was never sure how to take her, so open and honest- admitting to him things that people would usually keep to themselves. She told him of the way she cried herself to sleep at night, the way she was haunted by her stalker who had been dead for nearly ten years, the way she carried a battered photo around in her purse and how she carried one man in her heart. He’d never met someone so desperate to run away from her troubles that the pain most people went through after running didn’t affect her. How the physical pain was nothing compared to the mental torture that she lived with day in, day out. Years ago when he had trained profession athletes he would have been grateful for Holly, he would have worked her until she dropped, not caring how much she hurt and how much she wanted to escape from herself. He would have entered her into every race and got very rich by placing bets on her to win. But now he was just an old man who runs a gym and he can’t cope with the pain he faces every time he sees his closes friend running away from it all.
“Okay Hol, okay. But before you get back on that machine I would like you to show our newest member around. He’s a doctor too, just started at your hospital I believe.” Holly nodded.
“Okay but let me get showered first, I look a state.” She nodded now to her clothes. The grey t-shirt was soaked with sweat as it hung off her bony shoulders, black torn jogging bottoms where the cord at the top hung out and she had to pull it tight to get them to stay up.
“Fine but don’t take long, I get the feeling that this guy doesn’t have much patients.” Holly nodded quickly.
“No doctors have, always want everything on their own terms and they want everything yesterday. Tell him I’ll be there in ten minutes, if he can spare that mush of his precious time!” She grumbled as she made her way towards the showers. Purposely taking her time, wanting to keep this man waiting for as long as possible- serve him right for trying to rush her in the first place.
* * *
“So where the hell is she?” The doctor shouted angrily as he paced the floor, waiting for the arrival of some mysterious doctor. Holly meanwhile ran hastily towards reception where she guessed this guy would be waiting for her. Her hair was sopping wet and kept hitting her in the face as she ran.
“Sorry I’m late, the showers weren’t…” Holly trailed off as she saw the man standing in front of her. She blinked and rubbed her eyes to try and work out if she was imagining this or if Patrick really was standing in her gym in London.
“Holly this is-“
“Patrick. Long time no see.” Patrick spun around at the sound of her voice. Could it be? It was, it was Holly. Still the same, still smiling after all these years.
“Holly? Oh my god! Hol.” He beamed.
“I take it you two know each other then.” Jon said as he watched the two smile at each other.
“You could say that. Do you want to show me around then Hol?” He said, never breaking eye contact.
“Yeh. Come on then, this is the running machine where I spend most of my time and this…” She carried on for almost an hour, showing him around every part of the gym as she knew it. She knew that Patrick probably wasn’t listening a word she was saying because he was just staring at her, open mouthed. Eventually they reached the end of the tour, back at reception where they had started and Holly decided it was a good time to try and see if Patrick had taken in one word.
“Patrick! Are you listening to me?” She asked, pretending to be cross.
“Umm… No. Sorry.” He mumbled. She laughed at his embarrassment. He looked at her for a moment, trying to dig up the courage from somewhere deep inside. “So listen umm… do you fancy going for a drink, later, when you’ve finished here?” She looked around, at the running machine she spent her life on but never got anywhere. She knew she couldn’t run away any more. Not from the past, not from Tom, not from Patrick and not from herself.
“Yeh,” She said. “As long as your buying.”