I used to be a superhero no one could touch me not even myself you are like a phone booth that I somehow stumbled into and now look at me I am just like everybody else if I was dressed in my best defenses would you agree to meet me for coffee if I did my tricks with smoke and mirrors would you still know which one was me if I was naked and screaming on your front lawn would you turn on the light and come down screaming, there's the asshole who did this to me stripped me of my power stripped me down I used to be a superhero no one could hurt me not even myself you are like a phone booth that I somehow stumbled into and now look at me I am just like everybody else yeah you've been gone exactly two weeks two weeks and three days and now I’m a different person different in so many ways tell me what did you like about me and don't say my strength and daring 'cuz now I think I’m at your mercy and it's my first time for this kind of thing I used to be a superhero I would swoop down and save me from myself but you are like a phone booth that I somehow stumbled into and now look at me I am just like everybody else Brian looked up just as Justin walked into Babylon. “What the hell is he doing here?” Brian grumbled to himself. In the time since their “break up” Justin had barely ventured to visit Liberty Avenue, never mind the club where all of the drama had unfolded. When Justin saw Brian perched at his regular cruising spot, the upstairs railing the looked down over the dance floor, he immediately made his way up there. He was acutely aware that Brian was watching his every move, which made him even more nervous. “Well, well, well, what the hell are you doing here, Sunshine?” Brian asked, feigning disinterest. He tried to keep his eyes on the dance floor, and on the trick he had been watching for about a half hour, but they kept straying to get just a glimpse of Justin’s beautiful face. “We need to talk.” Justin said stiffly. He knew that every eye in the place would soon be on the two of them as soon as people realized that they were talking, and he didn’t want to give anything away. “Now, what would you and I have to talk about?” Brian asked, tongue in cheek. “Please, Brian? Can we go somewhere and talk?” Justin pleaded. When Brian finally turned to look at him and saw the need in Justin’s eyes. He knew that something serious had to be bothering the young man so he leaned in a whispered for him to meet him at the loft in a half hour. “Thank you, Brian.” Brian finally let the breath he had been holding in out when the boy disappeared out the doors of the club. He looked around to see if the guys had seen what transpired. He met Emmett’s eyes, and saw the glimmer of knowing there. “Fuck.” He muttered under his breath. It seemed that Emmett had some sort of sixth sense when it came to Brian and Justin. Brian knew that Emmett would have filled everyone in by morning and that he would have to make up some sort of excuse for Justin’s little visit. *** “I said half an hour.” Brian muttered as he let the frazzled looking young man into the loft. Justin’s cheeks were pink and his eyes were puffy. “You’re fucking late.” “Sorry. I just walked around for a while… lost track of time.” Justin kicked his shoes off and walked into the living room. “Whatever the fuck. What the hell were you thinking coming to Babylon to talk to me? I thought we agreed that no one could know!” Brian was angry now. He had been thinking about the fall out that he would have to deal with from his friends later, and he was none too happy about it. “I’m sorry… I just… I needed to talk to you and your cell phone was off.” Justin was more nervous than Brian had ever seen him and he decided he shouldn’t be so hard on the boy. Something bad had to have happened for him to be this upset. “What’s wrong, Justin? Why did you need to talk to me?” Brian asked gently, sitting down next to the boy on the couch. “Ethan knows. He fucking found out. He followed me here the other night and he knows what’s been going on.” Justin sniffled and Brian saw a tear fall from his eye. A sudden burst of rage surged through Brian’s veins as he stood and stalked towards the kitchen. “And why the fuck is that any of my concern?” He exclaimed vehemently. “Brian…” Justin was still sniffling. “Listen, kid, I’m not the one who’s cheating on my boyfriend, alright? You knew that there was a chance he was going to catch you, but you still came to me. You fucking begged for it. So don’t come here and cry to me because you got caught!” Brian raked his fingers through his hair and grabbed the Jim Beam bottle off the counter, taking a long swig from it. “Brian, you don’t understand…” “Fuck you!” Brian took another long deep swig. “You have friends you should have come to with this! I have absolutely no fucking sympathy for you! If I have sympathy for anyone, it’s Ethan. He was too fucking stupid to realize that you couldn’t be faithful.” “Don’t say that.” Justin said, anger rising in his voice. He caught Brian’s gaze and stared at him hard. “I wasn’t cheating on him with just anyone, I was cheating on him with you.” “And that’s supposed to make it okay?” Brian scoffed and broke eye contact with the younger man. “He knew that I was still in love with you…” Justin paused. “Which is why he said that he’s willing to give it another try with me… as long as I don’t see you ever again.” “Oh, is that all it will take?” Brian asked sarcastically, the hurt at what Justin was saying stabbing at his heart. “Brian…” Justin pleaded. “What are you gunna tell Deb? And the guys? And the Munchers? Are you going to still be able to visit Gus, or is that going to be against the rules?” Justin could see the anger and hurt in Brian’s eyes and it broke his heart. “I don’t know.” He said, ashamed. “Fuck you! And fuck your perfect boyfriend! I hope the two of you are suitably miserable together.” With that said, Brian turned on his heel and walked into the bedroom. He waited painfully for the sound of Justin leaving, so that he could fall apart, but it didn’t come. “Bri…” Justin said quietly from behind him, startling him. “I want you the fuck out.” Brian growled. “I thought that we could maybe… one last time.” Justin said quietly. “I don’t want to leave it this way.” “Oh, so if I fuck you, we’ll be leaving things a different way?” Brian demanded, turning quickly to give Justin a look to kill. “One last time, please?” Justin pleaded, crawling across the bed towards Brian. “I need this.” Brian felt his defenses crumbling as he watched the boy crawl towards him seductively. He felt a tightening in his groin and he knew it was over. He knew that he would give the young man anything that he wanted, even knowing that once he was out that door it was over forever. Justin was going to get what he needed from him and he was going to move on. He didn’t even care that he was breaking Brian more and more every day. “Take your fucking clothes off.” Brian demanded. He decided that if he was going to give Justin what he wanted, he was going to at least be in control. Justin did as he was told and soon lay naked beneath Brian. The two men attached each other’s mouth like two men possessed, their hands trying to memorize every part of the other’s body. Need overtook them and soon they were lost in the passion. *** “Get out. Go back to your fiddler.” Brian said angrily, pushing the panting blond off of him. He rolled off the bed and pulled his robe on. “I’m going to miss you, Brian.” Justin said softly as he began pulling his clothes back on. “I’m sorry it had to be this way.” “I’m sure you are.” Brian said, his voice dripping with disdain, as he walked down the stairs and picked up the bottle of JB again, taking a nice long swig. He knew that as soon as the boy left the loft, he wanted to feel as numb as possible. “Listen, if this thing with Ethan doesn’t work out…” Justin began, but Brian swiftly cut him off. “What? You’ll want to resume your place in my bed? You’ll want me to fuck you again?” Brian knew that he should shut up, but didn’t. “Fuck that! You’ve made your choice, now fucking live with it. Get the hell out of here. Have a nice life. And don’t ever fucking try to contact me again.” “But, Brian…” “Good-bye, Justin.” Brian said firmly, his tone indicating to Justin that the conversation was over. “Good-bye, Bri.” Justin walked over to the older man, wrapped his arms around him, and took a deep breath to inhale the scent he had grown to love. Brian stood stock still, refusing to betray his emotions by returning the embrace. When Justin finally let go, Brian grabbed the bottle of JB and walked back towards the bedroom. “Set the alarm when you leave.” He said coldly, refusing to turn back. Justin nodded silently and left the loft without a word. When the door was closed, he collapsed to the floor; his body wracked with sobs, now sure that he’d made the wrong decision… yet again. Inside the loft, Brian’s reaction was quite similar. The bottle of Beam forgotten, spilled all over the bedroom floor, Brian sat in the corner of the room, emotionless. He was still unable to believe that the young man was gone… for good. Part 3 HOME