"I can't sign a contract that will help three ruthless villains take over the world. I just can't."
"Why not?"
"My pen's out of ink."
~The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle
(trying to impress a girl that likes T.S. Eliot) "I especially love T.S. Eliot."
"You do?"
"Yeah. She's amazing. I love how she uses words, her books are just amazing, and so feminine-like."
"T.S. Eliot is a man."
"Oh, yeah, if you want to get TECHNICAL about it..."
~Agent Cody Banks
(trying to impress the same girl, who likes horses) "I love horses. I think their...hair thingy's cool."
~Agent Cody Banks
(Driver's ed teacher) "You fail! Fail! FAIL!"
~Agent Cody Banks
"My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar."
"When will you be back?"
"I can't tell you that. It's classified."
~Airplane!
"You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital."
"A hospital? What is it?"
"It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now."
~Airplane!
(The airplane is about to take off)
"Nervous?"
"Yes."
"First time?"
"No, I've been nervous lots of times."
~Airplane!
(The classic!)
"Surely you can't be serious."
"I am serious... and don't call me Shirley."
~Airplane!
"Captain, how soon can you land?"
"I can't tell."
"You can tell me. I'm a doctor."
"No. I mean I'm just not sure."
"Well, can't you take a guess?"
"Well, not for another two hours."
"You can't take a guess for another two hours?"
~Airplane!
(To the airport control tower)
"No, we can't do that, the risk of a flame-out is too great. Keep 'em at 24,000. No, feet."
~Airplane!
"Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."
~Animal Crackers
"I used to know a fellow who looked exactly like you by the name of Emanuel Ravelli. Are you his brother?"
"I am Emanuel Ravelli."
"You're Emanuel Ravelli?"
"I am Emanuel Ravelli."
"Well, no wonder you look like him. But I still insist there is a resemblance."
"Heh, heh, he thinks I look alike."
~Animal Crackers
(at the orpanage) "And we're not having hot mush today..."
"Yay!"
"We're having cold mush."
~Annie
"Didn't you minor in aerospace technology at the Happy Tots Preschool?"
"Why, yes! Yes, I did!"
"What'd you major in?"
"That's not important now."
"Play-Doh."
"Me too!"
~Are You My Neighbor?
"I must be catching cold."
"No, dear, it was Reverend Harper who sneezed."br>
~Arsenic and Old Lace
"I suppose the life of an anorexic duck doesn't amount to much in the broad scheme of things."
~Babe
"Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn't take Lorraine out that he'd melt my brain."
~Back to the Future
"Baby, I need to tell you something....I don't got a bellybutton!"
~The Ballad of Little Joe
"You're going to rob a bank with a Magic Marker? What are you going to do, draw on them?"
~Bandits
"You'll come out or I'll break down the door!"
"Master, I could be wrong, but that may not be the best way to win the girl's affections."
~Beauty and the Beast
"Kaylee? My, you've gotten so tall and ... muscular."
~Big Fat Liar
(The story being that they've captured a bunch of historical figures and brought them home)
"Uh, Ms. Preston. We'd like you to meet some of our... friends."
"Yeah. This is Dave Beeth Oven. And, uh, Maxine of Arc, Missy. Herman the Kid."
"Bob Genghis Khan. So-crates Johnson. Dennis Frood. And uh... Abraham Lincoln."
~Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
(explaining why he missed his own wedding)
"No, I didn't. Honest. I ran out of gas! I had a flat tire! I didn't have enough money for cab fare! My tux didn't come back from the cleaners! An old friend came in from out of town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!"
~The Blues Brothers
"What kind of music do you usually have here?"
"Oh, we got both kinds. We got country AND western."
~The Blues Brothers
"Use of unnecessary violence in the apprehension of the Blues Brothers HAS been approved."
~The Blues Brothers
"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses."
"Hit it!"
~The Blues Brothers
"Now it isn't that I don't like you, Susan, because, after all, in moments of quiet, I'm strangely drawn toward you, but - well, there haven't been any quiet moments."
~Bringing Up Baby
"When a man is wrestling a leopard in the middle of a pond, he's in no position to run."
~Bringing Up Baby
"I am flying! And from way up here you all look like little ants!"
~A Bug's Life
"Help! Francis! I'm stuck!"
"Where are you?"
"Over here!"
"Where?"
"HERE! I'M THE ONLY STICK WITH THE EYEBALLS!"
~A Bug's Life
(said by a fly)
"Waiter, I'm in my soup!"
~A Bug's Life
"Tra-la-la-la, spring is in the air, and I'm the flower with nothing interesting to say."
~A Bug's Life
"You know, the guy's supposed to be some kind of evil genius, and best he can come up with is a ventriloquist act. What's next, evil juggling?"
~Buzz Lightyear of Star Command
"I've often speculated as to why you came to Casablanca. Did you abscond with the church funds? Run off with the Senator's wife? I'd like to think that you killed a man; it's the romantic in me."
~Casablanca
(when the police close down his cafe)
"How can you close me up? On what grounds?"
"I am shocked, shocked, to find out that gambling is going on here!"
(someone from the roulette wheel arrives)
"Your winnings, sir."
"Oh, thank you, thank you very much."
~Casablanca
"Monsieur Rick, what kind of man is Captain Renault?"
"Oh, he's just like any other man, only more so."
~Casablanca
"Rick, there are many exit visas sold in this cafe, but we know that you've never sold one. That is the reason we permit you to remain open."
"Oh? I thought it was because I let you win at roulette."
"That is another reason."
~Casablanca
(a cat takes the place of his owner)
"Attention, employees. This is your employer Mr. Mason. As of now, you are all fired! Do not ask why. You have no one to blame but yourselves. Oh, unless you have a dog, you can blame him. As a matter of fact, kick him when you get home! Cats rule!"
~Cats and Dogs
(in a burning building)
"I want you to stay here."
"Why?"
"Because I hate you."
~Cats and Dogs
"Evil does not wear a bonnet!"
~Cats and Dogs
(to a group of mice)
"As a reward you will each receive sixteen pounds of Monterrey Jack cheese and the continent of Australia."
~Cats and Dogs
(cleaning a scratch on his back)
"Of course you won't be able to lie on your back for awhile, but then you can lie from any position, can't you?"
~Charade
"Do women find it feminine to be so illogical, or can't they help it?"
~Charade
(after a third murder)
"Three of them? All in their pajamas? C'est ridicule! What is it, some new American fad?"
~Charade
"You're blocking my view."
"Which one is that?"
"The one you're blocking."
~Charade
(about a young child)
"Isn't there something constructive he can do -- like start an avalanche?"
~Charade
"Well, wasn't it Shakespeare who said: 'When strangers do meet they should erelong see one another again'?"
"Shakespeare never said that."
"How do you know?"
"It's terrible -- you just made it up."
"Well, the idea's right, anyway."
~Charade
"What is it now, Pamela?"
"It happened again, Henry -- another strange man peered in the window at me and then went away."
"Bad luck, Pamela."
~Charade
"Would you like to see where I was tattooed?"
"Sure."
"Okay, I'll drive you around there some day."
~Charade
"You know, I can't help feeling rather sorry for Scobie. Wouldn't it be nice if we were like that?"
"What -- like Scobie?"
"No -- Gene Kelly. Remember the way he danced down there next to the river in 'American in Paris' -- without a care in the world?"
~Charade
"Any minute now we could be assassinated! Would you do anything like that?"
"What? Assassinate somebody?"
"No -- swing down from there on a rope to save the woman you love -- like Charles Laughton in 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame'?"
~Charade
"You're probably weak from hunger. You've only had five meals today."
~Charade
(accused of being the murderer)
"What do I have to do to satisfy you -- become the next victim?"
"It's a start, anyway."
~Charade
"You DO think I'm beautiful, don't you, Charlie Brown? You didn't answer right away. You had to think about it first. Didn't you? If you really thought I was beautiful, you would have spoken right up. I know when I've been insulted! I KNOW WHEN I'VE BEEN INSULTED!"
~A Charlie Brown Christmas
"So, laying eggs all your life and then getting stuffed and roasted, that's good enough for you, is it?"
"It's a living."
~Chicken Run
"I saw my whole life flash before me eyes! It was really boring."
~Chicken Run
"We die free or we die trying."
"Are those the only choices?"
~Chicken Run
"Now, the most important thing is, we have to work as a team, which means: you do everything I tell you."
~Chicken Run
"The chickens are revolting!"
"At last, we agree on something."
~Chicken Run
"Think, everyone, think. What haven't we tried yet?"
"We haven't tried *not* trying to escape."
"Hmm. That might work!"
~Chicken Run
"Your side of the bunk? The whole bunk is my side of the bunk!"
~Chicken Run
"Who is she? She's very lovely."
"A vision... Why, if I were young again..."
"Yes, dear?"
"Well...I'd be younger, wouldn't I?"
"Yes, dear."
~Cinderella
"Wadsworth, am I right in thinking there is nobody else in this house?"
"Ummm, no."
"Then there is someone else in this house?"
"No, sorry. I said no meaning yes."
"No meaning yes? Look I want a straight answer, is there someone else, or isn't there? Yes or no?"
"Ummm, no."
"No there is, or no there isn't?"
"Yes."
~Clue
"Well, there is still some confusion as to whether or not there is anybody else in this house."
"I told you there isn't!"
"There isn't any confusion, or there isn't anbody else?"
"Either, or both!"
"Just give me a clear answer!"
"Certainly! What was the question?"
"Is there anybody else in the house!"
"NO!"
~Clue
"I was in the hall. I know because I was there."
~Clue
"I suggest that we take the cook's body into the study."
"Why?"
"I'm the butler. I like to keep the kitchen tidy."
~Clue
(a police officer they have locked up in the library because they don't want him to find the dead bodies all over the house)
"I'll book you for false arrest! And wrongful imprisonment! And obstructing an officer in the course of his duty! And murder!"
"What do you mean 'murder'?"
"I just said it so you would open the door!"
~Clue
(a guy hiding in the back of the girl's car so that he can escape)
"I feel kinda naked. Could we get out of here?"
"Please don't tell me you're naked back there!"
"No, it's just a figure of speech."
~Conspiracy Theory
(the guy is dying, and the girl says...)
"I love you."
"Now you tell me."
~Conspiracy Theory
(about a metal detector)
"Why is this thing safe for me and not for my keys?"
~Conspiracy Theory
"I've got it! I've got it! The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true! Right?"
"Right. But there's been a change: they broke the chalice from the palace!"
"They *broke* the chalice from the palace?"
"And replaced it with a flagon."
"A flagon...?"
"With the figure of a dragon."
"Flagon with a dragon."
"Right."
"But did you put the pellet with the poison in the vessel with the pestle?"
"No! The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon! The vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true!"
"The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon; the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true."
"Just remember that."
~The Court Jester
"Ask the girl if she's seen a group in the forest."
"Uh what's that? What?"
"Ask the girl if she's seen a group in the forest."
"Eh, why didn't I what?"
"Ask THE GIRL IF SHE'S SEEN A GROUP IN THE FOREST!"
"No need to holler, sir, I hear very well indeed!"
"Then ASK HER!"
"Ask her what?"
"If SHE'S SEEN A GROUP IN THE FOREST!"
"Uh y-yes... child, have you seen a group in the forest? ... She says no."
"What took her so long?"
"Stutters."
~The Court Jester
"After months of pleading for just this kind of action, what makes you think that anybody - anybody could make me reveal the identity of my confederate?"
"Because they'd put you on the rack, crack your every bone, scald you with hot oil, and remove the nails off your fingers with flaming hot pincers."
"I'd... like to withdraw the question."
~The Court Jester
"Would you grant the king a little kiss?"
"Oh, certainly, sire, and don't worry. They say it isn't catching."
"Oh, you are a little... catching?"
"Just because it runs in the family doesn't mean that everyone has it. Kiss me, sire!"
"Has it? Has what?"
"Don't I please you, sire?"
"Oh, yes, yes, but, eh, these brothers and cousins and uncles..."
"And aunts. Let us not talk about their swollen, twisted, pain ridden bodies. Hold me, take me in your arms, tell me I am yours!"
"But this, this, uh, writhing on the floor..."
~The Court Jester
"She's great. She's really exotic! She's a princess! She's Polynesian--well, half Polynesian, and half American. She's... Amnesian."
~Dave
"Hello Israelites! You are pigs!"
"And soon we will put apples in your mouths and stick you in our toaster ovens!"
"Oho! After we defeat you, you will be our slaves and will have to fetch us our slippers!"
"And iron our trousers!"
"And wipe our little noses!"
"And scratch that spot on our backs we cannot reach no matter how hard we try! Don't you have anything to say?"
"Um-- do you guys have any fried chicken? I've got a real hankering for fried chicken."
"Yeah! Me too!"
"This is going to be easier than we thought."
~Dave and the Giant Pickle
"You're not going to sing, are you? Couldn't you just play your harp and I'll throw things at you?"
~Dave and the Giant Pickle
"Am I a dog, that you come at me with sticks?"
"I don't exactly know what you mean, but you are not a dog! You are a really big guy that wants to beat me up!"
~Dave and the Giant Pickle
"You remember the time we dipped you in tar and stuck you to the backside of an angry water buffalo?"
~Dave and the Giant Pickle
"I've always wanted to be a chicken. Do you think God would turn me into a chicken?"
~Dave and the Giant Pickle
(in Bible times)
"Sometimes I think I could eat a whole camel!"
"Oh, yeah? Well, sometimes I think I could eat a whole spaceship!"
"Uh...what's a spaceship?"
"I have no idea."
~Dave and the Giant Pickle
"Bob? What are the Philippines?"
"The Philippines are a group of islands off the coast of southeast Asia. But that's not important now. The Philistines were people who hated the Israelites."
~Dave and the Giant Pickle
"Now Dave and his brothers spent most of their time in the fields taking care of their sheep, which could be hard work, because their sheep had an unusual problem."
"They tip over."
"Baaa!"
"Oh, look. There goes one now."
~Dave and the Giant Pickle
"Tell us where the talking llama is and we'll burn your house to the ground."
"Don't you mean 'or'?"
*Sigh* "Tell us where the talking llama is *or* we'll burn your house to the ground."
"Well, which one is it? That seems like a pretty crucial conjunction."
~The Emperor's New Groove
"Oh, that wasn't the first time I was thrown out of a window and it won't be the last. What can I say? I'm a rebel!"
~The Emperor's New Groove
"Aaah... How shall I do it? Oh, I know... I'll turn him into a flea. A harmless, little flea. And then, I'll put that flea in a box. And then I'll put that box inside of another box. And then I'll mail that box to myself. And when it arrives, (laughs) I'll smash it with a hammer! It's brilliant, brilliant! Brilliant, I tell you! Genius, I say!"
~The Emperor's New Groove
"Hey, I've been turned into a cow. Can I go home now?"
~The Emperor's New Groove
"Dad! Watch out!"
"Tipo, what is it?"
"I had a dream dad was tied to a log and he was careening out of control down a raging river of death!"
~The Emperor's New Groove
"Yay! I'm a llama again! Wait..."
~The Emperor's New Groove
(after being turned into a kitten)
"Looking for this? ...Is that my voice? Is that *my* voice?"
~The Emperor's New Groove
"You're not just gonna let him die like that."
"My shoulder angel!"
"Don't listen to that guy! He's trying to lead ya down the path of righteousness. I'm gonna lead ya down the path that ROCKS!"
"Oh, come off it!"
"*You* come off it!"
"You!"
"You!"
"You!"
"You infinity!"
~The Emperor's New Groove
"Now, for the last time, we did *not* order a giant trampoline!"
"You know what, you could've told me that before I set it up!"
~The Emperor's New Groove
"I'm not going to drop it you fool, I'm going to drink it, and once I turn back into my beautiful self I'm going to KILL you! Muwahahahaha!"
~The Emperor's New Groove
"Not the dinner...the you know."
"Oh right. The poison--the poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen specially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco's poison. That poison?"
~The Emperor's New Groove
"You said you wanted to be around when I made a mistake, well, this could be it, sweetheart."
"I take it back."
~The Empire Strikes Back
"You know, we both work for the King, but compared to me, you are a g-nat."
"The G's silent. It's 'gnat.'"
"Are you calling me a g-nat?"
"No, just correcting your pronunciation."
"Are you calling me stupid?"
"Uh, no?"
~Esther: The Girl Who Became Queen
"Puppies are cuddly, puppies are cute, they're never nasty or mean. I'd give a home to all the lost puppies if ever a day I were Queen!"
~Esther: The Girl Who Became Queen
(the king, about his new wife)
"Do you think she'll like me?"
"Of course! Everyone likes you, under penalty of death!"
~Esther: The Girl Who Became Queen
"Why is there a piano on my cake?"
~Esther: The Girl Who Became Queen
"What should the punishment for these two criminals who appeared before you uninvited and tried to drop a piano on your head?"
"I don't know. It should probably be pretty stiff, huh? What do you think?"
"I suggest banishment to the Island of Perpetual Tickling!"
"You don't mean...."
"The island where you are tickled..."
"Day and night?"
"Night and day?"
"Without stop?"
"Not even if you say 'pretty please'?"
"Aaaaaaaaaah!"
~Esther: The Girl Who Became Queen
"The only thing we had in common was that she was from Iowa, and I had once heard of Iowa."
~Field of Dreams
"Is this heaven?"
"No, it's Iowa."
~Field of Dreams
"You said your finger was a gun!"
~Field of Dreams
"I did it all, I listened to the voices, I did what they told me, and not once did I ask what's in it for me."
"What's your point?"
"Well....what's in it for me?"
~Field of Dreams
"As the good book says, when a poor man eats a chicken, one of them is sick."
"Where does the book say that?"
"Well, it doesn't say that exactly, but somewhere there is something about a chicken."
~Fiddler on the Roof
"As Abraham said, 'I am a stranger in a strange land...'"
"Moses said that!"
"Ah. Well, as King David said, 'I am slow of speech, and slow of tongue.'"
"That was also Moses!"
"For a man who was slow of speech he talked a lot!"
~Fiddler on the Roof
(Grandmother Tzeitel appeared in his dream)
"Grandmother Tzeitel! How did she look?"
"For a woman who has been dead for thirty years she looked pretty well."
~Fiddler on the Roof
"I'm a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls!"
~Funny Girl
"Look, I have ONE job on this lousy ship. It's STUPID, but I'm gonna do it, OKAY?"
~Galaxy Quest
"Hey guys, there's a red-thingy moving toward the green-thingy."
"What?"
"Red-thingy moving toward the green-thingy. I think we're the green-thingy."
~Galaxy Quest
"Liane d'Exelmans has commited suicide... again!"
~Gigi
"Sure, I forgive them for calling me Bean Boy and saying I had cheese on my head, but now they're making fun of my name, and they laughed when the hoe almost smacked my face clean off and when the truck picked me up and threw me in the sand!"
~God Wants Me To Forgive Them?!
"Larry! Larry! Hey, little buddy! Larry! Lar-RY! Larry Larry Larry Larry Larry Larry!"
~God Wants Me To Forgive Them?!
"Dad, it's Big Foot!"
"Could you back up a bit, Mr. Foot, you're out of focus."
~A Goofy Movie
"You look just like I did at your age."
"Please don't say that, Dad."
~A Goofy Movie
(trying to think of ways not to waste the summer)
"How about Science Slumber Parties!"
~A Goofy Movie
(trying to "guilt" his son into coming with him on a fishing trip)
"Guess I'll just have to go...all alone. That's all. Just sit in the boat...all alone. And talk to myself...all alone."
"I guess so!"
~A Goofy Movie
"Goodbye, house! Goodbye, mailbox! Goodbye, pile of broken wood!"
~A Goofy Movie
"What if there isn't a tomorrow? There wasn't one today."
~Groundhog Day
"I used to be bad when I was a kid, but since then I've gone straight. This can be proved by my record. 33 arrests, no convictions."
~Guys and Dolls
"Where's the roast?"
"I'll go get it."
"The roast is resting in a shallow unmarked grave in the backyard."
~Harry and the Hendersons
"Myrtle Mae, you have a lot to learn, and I hope you never learn it."
~Harvey
"Hello! Hello there, how are you? Oh Hello!"
"You know too many people."
"Total strangers!"
"Then why do you greet them?"
"It makes me feel good to have so many friends."
"Oh, say hello for me too then."
"I already did."
~Hello, Dolly!
(a sloth, a woolly mammoth, a saber-toothed tiger, and a human baby)
"I don't know about you guys but we are the weirdest herd I've ever seen."
~Ice Age
"This is our private stockpile for the Ice Age! Sub arctic temperatures will force us underground for a billion, billion years!"
"So you got three melons?"
~Ice Age
"Look, the tigers are just playing tag with the antelope...with their teeth."
~Ice Age
"You know, this whole ice age thing is getting old. You know what I could go for? A global warming!"
"Keep dreaming."
~Ice Age
"If you weren't smart enough to plan ahead, then doom on you! Doom on you! Doom on you! Doom on you!"
~Ice Age
"Lady Bracknell, I hate to seem inquisitive, but would you kindly inform me who I am?"
~The Importance of Being Earnest
"Please, what does it always mean, this... this 'Junior'?"
"That's his name. Henry Jones Junior."
"I like 'Indiana.'"
"We named the DOG Indiana."
"The dog? You are named after the dog?"
"I've got a lot of fond memories of that dog."
~Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
"Junior, I have tell you something."
"Don't get sentimental now, Dad, save it until we get out of here."
"The floor's on fire. See? And the chair."
~Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
"Is there anyone here who speaks English? Or maybe even ancient Greek?"
~Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
"I was raised to be charming, not sincere."
~Into the Woods
"You can talk to birds?"
~Into the Woods
"I was watching him crawl back over the wall, then, bang! Crash! The lightning flashed! And...well, that's another story. Never mind. Anyway..."
~Into the Woods
"There's no possible way to describe what you feel when you're talking to your meal."
~Into the Woods
"I just wanted to make sure that you really loved this cape."
~Into the Woods
(to his pet cow)
"I'll see you soon again. I hope that when I do...it won't be on a plate!"
~Into the Woods
"I need your shoe to have a child!"
"Well, that makes no sense!"
~Into the Woods
"Yes, but even one prick...it's my thing about blood."
"Well, that's sick."
"It's no sicker than your thing with dwarves."
"Dwarves?"
"Dwarves!"
"Dwarves are very upsetting."
~Into the Woods
"You foolish child! What in heaven's name are you doing with a cow inside the house?"
"A warm environment might be just what Milky-White needs to produce, his milk."
"It's a she! How many times must a tell you? Only she's can give milk!"
~Into the Woods
"And perhaps a sticky bun? Or four?"
~Into the Woods
"It was like death... but in a good way."
~I.Q.
(a child after drinking coffee)
"So she moved me up a grade 'cause I wasn't fitting in, so now I'm even more not fitting in. I was getting good grades, you know, like all A's. So my mom says, 'You need stimulation.' I said, 'No, I don't. I'm stimulated enough right now.'"
"That's for sure."
"So she says, 'Uh-uh. You don't have a challenge. You need a challenge.' So now I'm challenged, all right- I'm challenged to hold on to my lunch money because of all the big mooses who wanna pound me, 'cause they think I'm a shrimpy dork who thinks he's smarter than them! But I don't think I'm smarter, I just do the stupid homework! If everyone else JUST DID THE STUPID HOMEWORK, they could move up a grade and get pounded, too! Is there anymore coffee?"
~The Iron Giant
"I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it."
~The Jerk
"You look so beautiful and peaceful, you almost look dead. And I'm glad, because there's something I want to say that's always been very difficult for me to say. 'I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit.' There."
~The Jerk
"But dad, all my friends are going!"
"I know son, but if all your friends were named Cliff, would you jump off them? I don't think so."
~Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius
"What girl wants to dance with a guy who looks like he should still be in Gymboree?"
"I didn't think we liked girls yet, Jimmy."
"Oh, we don't, we don't, no, not yet! However, one day, Carl, an influx of hormones that we can't control will overpower our better judgment and drive us to pursue the female species against our will."
~Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius
"We're going to be digested! Do you know what that means?"
"Of course! Digestion runs very deep in my family."
~Jonah
(the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything say...)
"Remember that time we did that one thing with that one guy?"
"Oh, do I ever."
"I remember it like it was yesterday."
~Jonah
(they're vegetables, and don't have arms)
"How are we clapping?"
"I have no idea."
~Josh and the Big Wall
(on learning the old man knows karate)
"What kind of belt do you have?"
"Canvas. You like? JC Penny. $3.98."
~Karate Kid
"Toshiya, let me ask you something. If you get called a jerk four times in a single day, does that make it true?"
"What, only four? Did you get up late?"
"Excuse me, I'm asking Toshiya."
"Four times is a pattern. It have to be five times to be a fact."
"Thank you. See? There's hope after all."
"Jerk."
~The Kid
"Uh... the other day we got a letter from a kid named.... Jimmy who lives... near Texas, somewhere."
"Yeah. Texas."
"Well, this kid Jimmy says that there's this other kid named...."
"Jerry."
"Sure! Jerry! Now Jimmy says that he doesn't like to play with this kid Jerry because Jerry is so selfish! One of the most selfish kids in the whole world! So selfish it just makes you sick!"
"No, he's not."
"Who's not?"
"Jerry. He's not selfish. He's nice."
"No, he's selfish. Remember? The letter?"
"Uh, no. Jimmy said Jerry was nice and that other kid...Hubert was selfish."
"Hubert?"
"Yeah. Hubert."
"Who's gonna name their kid Hubert? Now, look, Jerry- er, Larry- in the letter we got from Jimmy who lives near Texas somewhere, he said that his friend Jerry was selfish. That's what it said. Remember?"
"You want a piece of me?"
"I- er- aw, man, you were the one who said Jerry."
~King George and the Ducky
"It's called the Englishman Who Went Up A Hill And Came Down With All The Bananas."
"Catchy."
~King George and the Ducky
"Hello, I am the Englishman who went up a hill and came down with all the bananas, leaving, of course, the inhabitants of the hill with no bananas and therefore bestowing the term 'selfish' upon my self."
"You're so selfish!"
"I know! But I've got all the bananas!"
"Well, aren't you going to eat them?"
"Why of course not! You can't eat bananas without strawberries!"
"Allo! I am da Schvede who vent up a hill and came down vit all da strawberries, leaving of course, de inhabitants of da hill vit no strawberries, and derefore bestowing da term 'selfish' upon myself."
"You're not Swedish."
"Shhhh!"
"You're so selfish!"
"I know, but I've got all da strawberries."
"Well, aren't you going to eat them?"
"Oh, no. You can't eat strawberries wit-out bananas."
"Pardon me, good Swede, could you spare a strawberry?"
"Ah.... no?"
"You're so selfish!"
"Es-cuse me, Mister Englishman, could I trouble you for a banana?"
"Ah.... no."
"You're so selfish! ...You guys are not so bright!"
~King George and the Ducky
"Some kings love horses and some kings love cattle, some kings love leading their troups into battle, but me I'm not like that. I find that stuff yucky. I'd much rather play in my tub with my ducky."
~King George and the Ducky
"Did you say. . . wronger?"
"What? I don't know. Perhaps."
"It's 'more wrong,' not more wronger."
"It had to rhyme! Don't question a king's grammar! Now go and get that duck!"
~King George and the Ducky
(a daytime drama)
"Please don't cry Barbara, you're a nice manatee, you've been so good to me, but I must go into the world and do noble things for the good of all, and you can't come because you don't speak French. Au revoir!"
"But if you leave, Bill, who will take me to the ball? Who's going to take me to the ball, Bill? I have a new dress and shoes and new manatee lipstick! Who will take me to the ball? Please don't go!"
"I must."
"Don't go."
"I must!"
"Don't!"
"Must!"
"Don't, don't!"
"Must, must!"
~King George and the Ducky
"You remember me! I'm Melvin, that slightly-odd wise man who shows up every so often to tell you things."
~King George and the Ducky
"I fully expect to meet you at the pearly gates little thief, and don't you dare disappoint me."
"I'll meet you there father, even if I have to pick the lock."
~Ladyhawke
"It's me they're after."
"Don't flatter yourself."
~Ladyhawke
"Maybe I'm dreaming. My eyes are open, which means maybe I'm awake dreaming that I'm asleep. Or, or more likely, I'm asleep dreaming that I'm awake wondering if I'm dreaming."
~Ladyhawke
"Look, Alfred. I've been driving around all day. I'm tired. I'm hungry. I've got to go to the bathroom. This suit is very constricting. I'm coming home now."
~Larry-Boy and the Fib From Outer Space
"Whoa! Gee! I didn't think Lenny was capable of that kind of violence! He seemed like such a nice kid. I didn't even know he HAD a crocodile."
~Larry-Boy and the Fib From Outer Space
"Remember, the security of Bumblyberg rests in your...plungers."
~Larry-Boy and the Fib From Outer Space
"I just don't think that Brooke could've done this. Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't kill their husbands, they just don't."
~Legally Blonde
"Do you think she woke up one morning and said, 'I think I'll go to law school today'?"
~Legally Blonde
"Oh good! My dog's found a chainsaw!"
~Lilo and Stitch
"It's sandwich day! Every Thursday I take Pudge the fish a peanut butter sandwich."
"Pudge is a fish?"
"And today we were out of peanut butter. I asked my sister what to give him, and she said, "A tuna sandwich." I can't give Pudge tuna! Do you know what tuna IS?"
"Fish?"
"IT'S FISH! If I gave Pudge tuna, I'd be an abomination! I'm late because I had to go to the store and get peanut butter 'cause all we have is...is...STINKIN' TUNA!!"
~Lilo and Stitch
"Oh yes, mmhmm, all of our dogs are adoptable. Except that one!"
"What is that thing?!"
"A dog, I think.. But it was dead this morning."
~Lilo and Stitch
"Oh I can't complain Mom, I'm camping out with a convicted criminal.. And uh oh, I had my head chewed on by a monster!"
~Lilo and Stitch
"Let me get this straight. You know her, and she knows you, but she wants to eat him. And everyone's okay with this? DID I MISS SOMETHING?"
~The Lion King
"Well the buzz from the bees is that the leopards are in a bit of a spot. The baboons are going ape. I told the elephants to forget it, but they can't. The cheetahs are hard up, but I told them - cheaters never prosper."
~The Lion King
"Just try to guess where you think my ships are."
"Oh, okay. 2B."
"Not 2B."
"Drat."
~Lyle the Kindly Viking
"Larry, how much stuff do you need to be happy?"
"I don't know. How much stuff is there?"
~Madame Blueberry
"I'm saying Silly Songs is cancelled until further notice."
"Well, then, how am I supposed to get out of this bear trap?"
"I'm sure you'll figure something out."
~Madame Blueberry
"As associates of the Stuff-Mart, it looks like you could use some stuff."
~Madame Blueberry
"Never confuse efficiency with a liver complaint."
~Mary Poppins
"Kindly do not attempt to cloud the issue with facts."
~Mary Poppins
"You here to make fun of me too?"
"No, ma'am. We at the FBI do not have a sense of humor we're aware of."
~Men in Black
"Hey, did you lose weight, or a limb?"
~Monsters Inc
"Say hello to the Scream Extractor!"
"Uh... hello."
~Monsters Inc
"Where is it, you little one-eyed crettin?"
"Okay, first of all, it's 'cretin.' If you're going to threaten me, do it properly. And second of all, you're nuts if you think kidnapping ME is going to help YOU cheat your way to the top!"
*Chuckles evilly* "You still think this is about that stupid scare record?"
"Well... I did. Right up until you... chuckled... like that... And now I'm thinking I should just get out of here."
~Monsters Inc
"Sulley, you're not supposed to name it. Once you name it, you start getting attached to it. Now put that thing back where it came from or so help me-- Oh, hey! We're rehearsing a-- a scene for the upcoming company play called uh, Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me. It's a musical." *singing* "Put that thing back where it came from or so help me... so help me, so help me and cut! We're still working on it, it's a work in progress but, hey, we need ushers."
~Monsters Inc
"One of these days I am really... going to let you teach that guy a lesson."
~Monsters Inc
"Ah, James! Is this one yours?"
"Ah, actually that's my uh, cousin's sister's daughter, sir."
"Yeah, it's uh, 'Bring an Obscure Relative to Work Day'."
"Hmm, must have missed the memo."
~Monsters Inc
"I think I have a plan here: using mainly spoons, we dig a tunnel under the city and release it into the wild."
Spoons?"
"That's it, I'm out of ideas. We're closed. Hot air balloon? Too expensive. Giant slingshot? Too conspicuous. Enormous wooden horse? Too Greek!"
~Monsters Inc
"What makes you think she's a witch?"
"Well she turned me into a newt!"
"A newt?"
"I got better."
~Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"Old woman!"
"Man."
"Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?"
"I'm 37."
"What?"
"I'm 37. I'm not old."
"Well I can't just call you 'man'."
"Well you could say 'Dennis'."
"I didn't know you were called Dennis."
"Well you didn't bother to find out did you?"
~Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"Some day, lad, all this will be yours."
"What, the curtains?"
~Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"
~Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni. We are now the Knights who say... 'Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG! Zoom-Boing! Z'nourrwringmm!'"
~Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"You only killed the bride's father, you know!"
"Well, I didn't mean to."
"Didn't mean to? You put your sword right through his head!"
"Oh dear...is he all right?"
~Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"Help, help, I'm being repressed!"
~Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"'Tis but a scratch."
"A scratch? Your arm's off."
"No, it isn't."
"Well, what's that then?"
"I've had worse."
~Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"So...logically..."
"If she ... weighs the same as a duck ... she's made of wood."
"And therefore?"
"A witch!"
~Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"The wise Sir Bedevere was the first to join King Arthur's knights ... but other illustrious names were soon to follow ... Sir Launcelot the Brave ... Sir Galahad the Pure ... And Sir Robin-the-not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Launcelot, who had nearly fought the Dragon of Agnor, who had nearly stood up to to the vicious Chicken of Bristol, and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill ... and the aptly named Sir Not-appearing-in-this-film."
~Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"And that, my lord, is how we know the Earth to be banana-shaped."
"This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes."
~Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"No, on second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place."
~Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"Ni!"
"Oh!"
"Ni! Ni!"
"Oh!"
"We shall say Ni! again to you if you do not appease us."
"All right! What do you want?"
"We want ... a shrubbery!"
~Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"Make sure the Prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get him."
"Not ... to leave the room ... even if you come and get him."
"No. Until I come and get him."
"Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room."
"No ... You stay in the room and make sure he doesn't leave."
"... and you'll come and get him."
"That's right."
"We don't need to do anything, apart from just stop him entering the room."
"Leaving the room."
"Leaving the room ... yes."
"Got it?"
"Er ... if ... we ... er ..."
"Yes?"
"If we ... er ..."
"Look, it's simple. Just stay here and make sure he doesn't leave the room. Right?"
"Oh, I remember ... can he ... er ... can he leave the room with us?"
"No .... keep him in here ... and make sure he doesn't ..."
"Oh, yes! we'll keep him in here, obviously. But if he had to leave and we were with him."
"No ... just keep him in here."
"Until you, or anyone else ..."
"No, not anyone else - just me."
"Just you ... get back."
"Right."
"Okay. Fine. We'll remain here until you get back."
"And make sure he doesn't leave."
"What?"
"Make sure he doesn't leave."
"The Prince ... ?"
"Yes ... make sure ..."
"Oh yes, of course! I thought you meant him! You know it seemed a bit daft me havin' to guard him when he's a guard ..."
~Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"Concorde! Brave, Concorde ... you shall not have died in vain!"
"I'm not quite dead, sir ..."
"Oh, well ... er brave Concorde! You shall not have been fatally wounded in vain!"
"I think I could pull through, sir."
"Good Concorde ... stay here and rest awhile."
~Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"Ni!"
"Nu!"
"No. Ni! More like this. 'Ni'!"
~Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"Firstly. You must get us another shrubbery!"
"More shrubberies! More shrubberies for the ex-Knights of Ni!"
"Not another shrubbery -"
"When you have found the shrubbery, place the shrubbery here, beside this shrubbery ... only slightly higher, so you get a two-level effect with a path through the middle."
"A path! A little path for the late Knights of Ni!"
"When you have found the shrubbery, then you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest ... with a herring."
~Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"I don't get it. First they steal the body and leave the clothes, then they take the clothes and bring the body back. Who would do a thing like that?"
"Possibly some deranged dry cleaner."
~Murder by Death
"Locked, from the inside. That can only mean one thing. And I don't know what it is."
~Murder by Death
"Who do you think is the murderer?"
"Must sleep on it. Will know in morning when wake up."
"But what if you don't wake up?"
"Then you did it."
~Murder by Death
"Room filled with empty people."
~Murder by Death
"Did you see that?"
"No."
"Neither did I."
~Murder by Death
"What is your name?"
"Bensenmum."
"Well, thank you Bensen."
"No, Bensenmum."
"Your name is Bensenmum?”
“Jamesir Bensenmum.”
~Murder by Death
"So what the heck? You're welcome! Join us at the picnic! You can eat your fill of all the food you bring yourself."
~The Music Man
"Last I heard, you was in steam automobiles."
"I was."
"What happened?"
"Somebody actually invented one."
~The Music Man
"Nicko! Don't play with your food! When I was your age, we didn't have food!"
~My Big Fat Greek Wedding
"Henry! What a disagreeable surprise."
~My Fair Lady
"All you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right kind of people."
~My Man Godfrey
"Extry, extry, read all about it! Ellis Island in flames!"
"Hey, where's that story?"
"Page nine."
"'Trash Fire Next To Immigration Building Terrifies Seagulls'?"
~Newsies
"What do they call you, kid?"
"Les, and this is my brother David. He's older."
"No kidding."
~Newsies
"All this for one sip of beer?"
~Newsies
"It's this brain of mine, it's always making mistakes. It's got a mind of it's own."
~Newsies
"I'm terrified."
"Just pretend you're a janitor. Janitors are never terrified."
~Notorious
"I don't know what to make of you! You're too purty to be a skunk! Too thin to be a snake! To little to be a man, and too big to be a mouse! I reckon you're a rat!"
"That's logical."
~Oklahoma!
"If you weren't so young and smart-alecky, I'd marry you."
~Oklahoma!
"Mother came to us destitute. Brings a child into the world, takes one look at him and promptly dies---without leaving so much as a forwarding name and address!"
~Oliver!
"I'm going crazy. I'm standing here solidly on my own two hands and going crazy."
~The Philadelphia Story
"No survivors, eh? Then where do the stories come from, I wonder?"
~Pirates of the Caribbean
"She's safe, just like I promised. And she's set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word, really. Except for Elizabeth, who is, in fact, a woman."
~Pirates of the Caribbean
"Mr. Cotton's parrot. Same question."
~Pirates of the Caribbean
"You look familiar, have I threatened you before?"
~Pirates of the Caribbean
"Who makes all these?"
"I do! And I practice with them three hours a day!"
"You need to find yourself a girl, mate."
~Pirates of the Caribbean
"Who are you?"
"No one. He's no one. Aunt's nephew's cousin twice removed on my mother's side. Lovely singing voice, though. Eunuch."
~Pirates of the Caribbean
"This dock is off limits to civilians!"
"I'm terribly sorry, I didn't know. If I see any, I shall inform you at once!"
~Pirates of the Caribbean
"It's my duty to commandeer a ship of the fleet, pick up a crew in Tortuga, and raid, pillage, plunder, and otherwise pilfer my weasly black guts out."
"I said no lies!"
"I think he's telling the truth."
"If he was telling the truth, he wouldn't have told us."
"Unless of course he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you."
~Pirates of the Caribbean
"You're supposed to be dead!"
"Oh, am I not?"
~Pirates of the Caribbean
"So what now, Jack Sparrow? Are we to be two immortals locked in an epic battle until Judgment Day and trumpets sound?"
"Or you could surrender."
~Pirates of the Caribbean
"I can't breath."
"Yes, I'm a little nervous myself."
~Pirates of the Caribbean
"I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?"
"Well... you were dead."
~The Princess Bride
"Probably some local fisherman, out for a pleasure cruise, at night... in... eel-infested waters..."
~The Princess Bride
"I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?"
"Do you always begin conversations this way?"
~The Princess Bride
"We'll never survive!"
"Nonsense! You're only saying that because no one ever has."
~The Princess Bride
"Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work. But I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder, and Guilder to frame for it. I'm swamped!"
"Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything."
~The Princess Bride
"Give us the gate key."
"I have no gate key."
"Fezzik, tear his arms off."
"Oh, you mean this gate key."
~The Princess Bride
"WAIT FOR ME WAIT FOR ME! Wait. Wait. No, not you - I don't even know you!"
~The Princess Diaries
"I look like a moose."
"But a beautiful moose. Make all the boy moose go WAHHHHHH!"
~The Princess Diaries 2: A Royal Engagement
"Your Highness, a strange woman came in and said that she wanted to hide in your closet, so I let her."
~The Princess Diaries 2: A Royal Engagement
"I put an oven mitt on my head just because VeggieBeat magazine said it would make me cool. It didn't make me cool. It made me- it made me bump into the toaster. And then fall into the sink. And now I can't get out of here! I'm going to be stuck here forever! And people are going to set plates on my head and I'm never going to get to go to the circus or run through the fresh-cut grass or feel the ocean breeze in my hair as ??? at the coast of our family home in ???! Oh, Aunty Em, there's no place like home, there's no place like home! Click. Click. Click."
~Rack, Shack and Benny (if ANYONE could tell me what he's saying there, let me know... lol, whatever it is, it's hilarious)
"I'm Shadrach!"
"I'm Meshach!"
"I'm Abumblebee...Abennyboo... I'm Benny."
~Rack, Shack and Benny
"Everybody else is lying down, but you three are standing up."
"Actually, boss, I think the tomato is sitting."
"I'm standing."
"Sitting."
"Look. This is sitting, and this is standing. I'm standing."
~Rack, Shack and Benny
"Meet me at Omar's. Be ready for me. I'm going after that truck."
"How?"
"I don't know, I'm making this up as I go."
~Raiders of the Lost Ark
"Why does a man leave his house three times on a rainy night and comes back three times?"
"Maybe he likes the way his wife welcomes him home."
~Rear Window
"Jeff, you know if someone came in here, they wouldn't believe what they'd see? You and me with long faces plunged into despair because we find out a man didn't kill his wife. We're two of the most frightening ghouls I've ever known."
~Rear Window
"It's against my programming to impersonate a deity."
~Return of the Jedi
"Fog's as thick as peanut butter."
"You mean pea soup."
"You eat what you like and I'll eat what I'll like."
~Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
"Where is she going?"
"I don't know, but she'll be there by 10:30 tomorrow morning."
~Runaway Bride
"A woman happily in love, she burns the souffle. A woman unhappily in love, she forgets to turn on the oven."
~Sabrina
"Margaret has always wanted to travel."
"I know. She's heading to China shortly. I'm to go as her servant. But only on the understanding that I am to be very badly treated."
~Sense and Sensibility
"How can something not happening be a sign?"
"Maybe the absence of signs is a sign."
"That's lucid!"
~Serendipity
"Five schillings for the possessed toy."
~Shrek
"Alright! Do you know...the muffin man?"
"The muffin man?"
"The muffin man."
"Yes, I know the muffin man. Who lives on Drury Lane?"
"Well, she's married to the muffin man--"
"The muffin man?!?"
"THE MUFFIN MAN!!!"
~Shrek
"You can't tell me you're afraid of heights?"
"No, I'm just uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge, over a BOILING LAKE OF LAVA!"
~Shrek
"Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't COLOR-BLIND!"
~Shrek
"Talking pictures, that means I'm out of a job. At last I can start suffering and write that symphony."
"You're not out of job, we're putting you in as head of our new music department."
"Oh, thanks, R.F.! At last I can stop suffering and write that symphony."
~Singin' in the Rain
"If we bring a little joy into your humdrum lives, it makes us feel as if our hard work ain't been in vain for nothing."
~Singin' in the Rain
"Now look, Miss Lamont, Don and I..."
"Don? Don't you *dare* call him Don! I was calling him Don before you were born!"
~Singin' in the Rain
"What's the matter with that girl? Can't she take a gentle hint?"
"Well haven't you heard? She's irresistible. She told me so herself."
~Singin' in the Rain
"Good gracious! Who left the mop running?"
~Sleeping Beauty
"Cattle mutilations are up."
~Sneakers
("Dr. Randall" is attempting to read off a teleprompter without his glasses)
"Dr. Randall, what a surprise! Are you having lunch here?"
"I will if it's that sample. Huh? ... I wish it was that simple. The test results have come back."
"And?"
"And I'm afraid the results are very disturbing. It seems that Angelique has a rare case of brake fluid... Bran... fluid. Bran flavor."
"Brain fever?"
"Yes. Brain fever. Or what we call in Austria... Kopfgeschlagen. At the current rate of inflation, her brain will laterally explore the..."
"Literally explode?"
"Exactly, within the next three houses."
"Hours?"
"Yes, will literally explode within next three hours. I would suggest leaving the restraint."
"Restaurant?"
"Restaurant, yes."
"Her brain will actually explode?"
"Yes, yes, I've, um, seen it happen. It's a dreadful, dreadful thug. Thing."
~Soapdish
"Sudden speech, the last sign of brain fever. She could blow at any moment!"
~Soapdish
"The guy was killed in an auto accident! I looked it up! He was driving in the Yukon, in a pink convertible, to visit his brother who's an ex-con named Francis, when a tractor trailer comes along and decapitates him. You know what that mean, it means he doesn't have a head. How am I suppose to write for a guy who doesn't have a head? He's got no lips, no vocal cords. What do you want me to do?"
~Soapdish
"Fraulein, is it to be at every meal, or merely at dinnertime, that you intend on leading us all through this rare and wonderful new world of indigestion?"
~The Sound of Music
"I wonder what grass tastes like."
~The Sound of Music
"What's the matter, Colonel Sanders? Chicken?"
~Spaceballs
"I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate."
"What does that make us?"
"Absolutely nothing."
~Spaceballs
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here on this most joyous occasion to witness Princess Vespa going right past the altar, heading down the ramp, and out the door."
~Spaceballs
"What am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie?"
"Now, you're looking at now, sir. Everything that is happening now, is happening now."
"What happened to then?"
"Not now! We're at now now."
"Go back to then."
"We can't."
"Why not?"
"We missed it."
"When?"
"Just now "
"When will then be now?"
"Soon."
~Spaceballs
"9...8...6..."
"Six! What happened to seven?"
"Just kidding."
~Spaceballs
"That's disgusting."
"Yeah, hateful little things."
"I love them."
"Yeah? Me too."
~Spider-Man
"I'm Luke Skywalker! I'm here to rescue you!"
"You're who?"
~Star Wars
"Don't call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease!"
~Star Wars
"Wonderful girl! Either I'm going to kill her or I'm beginning to like her."
~Star Wars
"He made a fair move. Screaming about it can't help you."
"Let him have it. It's not wise to upset a Wookie."
"But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid."
"That's 'cause droids don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookies are known to do that."
"I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy, R2: let the Wookie win."
~Star Wars
"Not a bad bit of rescuing, huh? You know, sometimes I amaze even myself."
"That doesn't sound too hard."
~Star Wars
"What happened?"
"Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?"
~Star Wars
"Is he going to be alright?"
"Well, a lad that size swallowing all that detergent. Amazingly, I think he's gonna be fine. Also, he's very clean."
~Stuart Little
"Good-bye, fake father! Good-bye, fake mother!"
"Good-bye, fake son!"
~Stuart Little
"I wish I were the one that was dead!"
"Really?"
"No. But I *am* very unhappy!"
~Stuart Little 2
"I've had it with you and your emotional constipation!"
~Tarzan
"It's a piranha!"
"Honey, there are no piranhas in Africa."
"Don't tell the kid that! Of course there are piranhas in Africa!"
"No, she's right, they're native to South America."
~Tarzan
"Don't you know a piranha can strip your flesh in seconds?"
~Tarzan
"Why am I so different?"
"Because you're covered with mud, that's why."
~Tarzan
"You know, I've been thinking that maybe Tarzan is some sub-species of elephant."
"What?"
"Think about it! He enjoys a peanut, I enjoy a peanut..."
~Tarzan
"Oh! I'm in a tree with a man who talks to monkeys..."
~Tarzan
"Now stay there, like a very good wild man."
~Tarzan
"So, then, you do speak! And all the time I thought you were just a big quiet silent person-thing."
~Tarzan
"Oh, Daddy, oh my- all right, I see a monkey, sweet little baby. . .drew a picture. Suddenly, monkey starts crying."
"Ohh!"
"And suddenly I look up and there's a whole fleet of them- there's an army of monkeys!"
"Monkeys? Monkeys?"
"Monkeys?"
"Ooh-ooh-ee-ah-oo..."
"Oh, watch this, she's very good at this..."
"Really."
"Terrified I was, terrified! Then suddenly, I'm on a vine up in the air! Swinging! Flying! I was in the air!"
"A vine! Swinging! Flying! In the air!"
"And then they surrounded me, and Daddy, they took my boot!"
"They took your- Those are the ones I bought you!"
"And I was saved- I was saved by a flying wild man in a loincloth."
"Loincloth? Good Lord."
"What is she talking about?"
"I've no idea. Takes after her mother that way. I've never done that, going rambling on and on..."
~Tarzan
"Can you believe this guy? Drops us like a newborn giraffe, ker-plop!"
~Tarzan
"Waiter, will you serve the nuts? I mean, will you serve the guests the nuts?"
~The Thin Man
"How'd you like Grant's tomb?"
"It's lovely. I'm having a copy made for you."
~The Thin Man
"Oh, it's alright, Joe. It's alright. It's my dog. And, uh, my wife."
"Well, you might have mentioned me first on the billing."
~The Thin Man
"You are a sad, strange, little man. You have my pity."
~Toy Story
"That wasn't flying, that was falling with style!"
~Toy Story
"You killed my father!"
"No Buzz, I am your father."
~Toy Story 2
"Billy has more toys than me!"
"Who's Billy?"
"I don't know. But he has more toys than me!"
~The Toy That Saved Christmas
"And so the pig and the giant lizard brought the boy back to his family at the bowling alley, and they all lived happily ever after. The end."
~The Toy That Saved Christmas
"I think you look like Captain Crunch."
~A Very Silly Sing-Along
"Hey, Bob! Guess what? I bought a whole chocolate factory with no money down!"
"You WHAT?!"
~A Very Silly Sing-Along
"How about a nice game of chess?"
~WarGames
"Oh, I'm not looking for romance, Howard. As the years go by romance fades and something else takes its place. Do you know what that is?"
"Senility?"
"Trust!"
"That's what I meant."
~What's Up, Doc?
"Steve, you didn't tell me you were married."
"We aren't married."
"Congratulations."
"But we are engaged."
"My condolences."
~What's Up, Doc?
"Don't you dare strike that brave unbalanced woman!"
~What's Up, Doc?
"Because you've violated section 42192R740006.1-7B of the code of Babylon for giving prayer to anyone but King Darius, you are hereby sentenced to be consumed by the lions. Good-bye."
~Where's God When I'm S-S-Scared?
"O.K., Lucy, it's either me or him!"
"Him."
"You don't have to answer right away."
~While You Were Sleeping
"Dr. Frankenstein..."
"'Fronkensteen.'"
"You're putting me on."
"No, it's pronounced 'Fronkensteen.'"
"Do you also say 'Froaderick'?"
"No... 'Frederick.'"
"Well, why isn't it 'Froaderick Fronkensteen'?"
"It isn't; it's 'Frederick Fronensteen.'"
"I see."
"You must be Igor."
"No, it's pronounced 'Eye-gor.'"
"But they told me it was 'Ee-gor.'"
"Well, they were wrong then, weren't they?"
~Young Frankenstein