resignation

Resignation

The time had come for me to leave my job, because four month old Etta needed to be more active. Her single nap had diminished to less than an hour, and although she played well with her toys when awake, she yearned for interaction with me. She needed to be held, talked to, and shown the world at an unhurried pace. Unfortunately, there were times at work when I had to be on the phone holding serious conversation, concentrating on paperwork, or manipulating sharp objects like scissors and file prongs. When these times coincided with Etta wanting to be cuddled or talked to, I guiltily diverted her attention to toys, or worse, I talked to her without making eye contact and really "being there."

My husband told me all along that I could leave my job whenever I was ready, despite the financial implications. We both felt strongly that giving Etta good care was an investment better than any financial gain. Although I made $16.00 an hour and could probably have found a babysitter for under $8.00 an hour, ethically I had trouble paying someone less than I earned at the office to do a job I felt was far more important: nurturing the life of a child. My child.

I knew resigning would be difficult. In my 16 years in the workforce, I never had a job I loved until this one. The variety of tasks, opportunity to work independently, and interaction with many different people made the job very satisfying. My boss and coworkers were mostly women, mostly mothers, and mostly perinatal nurses – and a very caring group of people. Working with them had been a joy.
All week I intended to give my resignation, but my boss was chronically in meetings or on conference calls. Because my boss wasn’t at the same location, I couldn’t just request to see her in her office. I had to call and give the bad news over the phone. Finally, it was 4:00pm on Friday, and I knew that if I waited for "the right time," I could be waiting another week. I had to tell my boss then and there, even though I suspected that she’d had a bad day. I felt I owed it to her to give her the weekend to consider my proposal (to continue to work a few hours on the weekends, if possible).

My boss was stunned, as if I were pulling some cruel joke. She said that she didn’t need to see my resignation letter, but I insisted on faxing it to her. I hoped she would take the time to read it, because I put a lot of feeling into it.

Resignation Accepted

Days went by before I heard from my boss after having given my resignation the previous Friday. I’d proposed to continue working on call or about 2 hours a week, just building and maintaining patient charts to meet the State requirements. All of my other duties could be easily absorbed by staff in the California office, as was the case during my maternity leave. When my boss and I finally spoke almost a week later, she said she’d love for me to stay on in whatever capacity I could manage, but that a cut in pay would accompany the reduction of my responsibilities. I consented to it just to keep my foot in the door professionally, and was grateful to still be even slightly employed.

Wrapping Things up at the Office

It was a tough week at the office for Etta and me. I was very busy packing up the medical supplies and equipment for shipment to the California office, boxing up over 150 pounds a day, in addition to performing my usual duties. We’d been leasing two 8’x12’ rooms plus a storage closet, and I had to reduce our space to a single 8’x12’ room.

Etta was excited by the commotion and changing scenery and decided to go on nursing and napping strikes. If I got one half hour nap from her during our six hours at the office, I was lucky. Most of the time she was happy to play in her carriage, in the portable bassinet, or on the changing pad on the desk. Unfortunately, she had fussy periods which I couldn’t cater to. She would get tired and hungry, but as soon as I’d sit down with her to nurse, she’d arch her spine, throw back her head, and strain to look around the room. It wasn’t until she was utterly exhausted and had been fussing herself up to a good cry that she’s take the breast and actually feed. Thank goodness our time at the office is almost over!

Farewell to the Office

Our last day coincided with Etta's five month birthday. Etta celebrated by not napping one wink while we were at the office. She was also quite fussy, chewing her hands and toys, and sucking her lower lip while whimpering. She has a silicone pacifier which she uses as a teether, holding it in one hand, inserting it into her mouth, biting down on it, and pulling it out while it’s still clamped between her gums. She sticks it back in and immediately repeats the assault, over and over. She looks like a dog chewing viciously on a bone!

At the end of the week, despite Etta’s refusal to nap, the office was transformed and ready to accommodate my new role as an hourly worker. I would come to the office just a few hours a week, probably on the weekends or in the evenings when I could leave Etta at home with my husband. I was sad about leaving a job that I truly loved, but eager to embrace my new role as full time mother. Etta and I would both be much happier.