Gary's Movie Ratings and Reviews
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2003 Movie Chart
Note: Only Includes movies seen at the cinemas during 2003
Rank	Movie	Gary's Rating	Michelle's Rating	In Brief....
1	The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King	89	94	Peter Jackson, I take my hat off to you. It is a spine-tingling, almost magical, experience to see the pages of my most treasured book brought to life with such reverence. Movies like this are the reason I love the cinema. Magnificent.
2	Whale Rider	84	86	From New Zealand comes this stunning example of low budget film making at its absolute best. Sure to bring tears to all but the most hardened viewers as plucky young girl clashes with grandfather over centuries of Maori tradition.
3	The Matrix Reloaded	83	80	Spectacular stuff as Neo becomes the ultimate superhero. Or does he? The psycho-dialogue will do your head in, while the action will blow your mind. Probably not as ground breaking as the first one, but don't hold that against it; this is still one heck of a ride.
4	25th Hour	81	74	Ed Norton contemplates his last day of freedom before heading to jail. Despite its moralistic undertones, this film is at times funny, hip, controversial and tragic, thanks in no small part to the terrific cast and Spike Lee's hard core directing.
5	Punch Drunk Love	80	-	One of the oddest romantic comedies you'll see, but still strangely endearing. Don't expect the usual low-brow Adam Sandler antics.
6	Intolerable Cruelty	80	49	Brilliant screwball comedy from those masters of snappy dialogue, the Coen brothers. Clooney and Zeta-Jones sparkle as the smarmy divorce lawyer and scheming man eater, respectively, but the rest of the cast are also right on the mark.
7	Touching the Void	80	65	Brutal and harrowing dramatisation of Joe Simpson's ill-fated Andean mountain climbing expedition. A great examination of the things that humans are capable of under extreme circumstances.
8	Chicago	79	65	Zellwegger, Zeta-Jones, Gere and co. shine in this surprisingly polished big screen adaptation of the West End favourite.
9	About Schmidt	79	73	In this bitter-sweet film, a wonderful Jack Nicholson ponders one of the deepest of human fears: has my whole life been a complete waste of time?
10	Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl	79	81	A tad lengthy, but this swashbuckling adventure is a barrel full of yo ho fun. Johnny Depp is priceless as the singular Captain Jack Sparrow, whilst Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley do no harm to their respective careers. A far better ride than the creaky Disney attraction upon which it is based.
11	Adaptation	78	51	Outrageously self conscious and refreshingly quirky look at how the screenplay for this movie was developed. From the people who brought you Being John Malkovich.
12	Matchstick Men	78	51	Nicolas Cage does quirky again, this time as an obsessive-compulsive con-artist whose world is turned upside down with the sudden appearance of a 14 year old daughter. A surprisingly heartwarming and low key outing from director Ridley "Gladiator" Scott.
13	School of Rock	78	81	Infectious silliness as Jack Black's wannabe rock star slacker somehow ends up training a class of posh school kids for a 'Battle of the Bands'. The story is predictable but Black's zany antics are just hilarious. Dust off that air guitar and rock out, man!
14	A Mighty Wind	78	-	Christopher Guest and some of his 'Spinal Tap' alumni bring you this mockumentary celebration of that cringeworthy '60s phenomenon - folk music. The musical numbers are scarily on the mark whilst it is astonishing how the actors manage to keep a straight face through it all. Very very funny.
15	Shanghai Knights	77	70	Brainless hi-jinks as the Shanghai Noon boys head to old London town. But Owen Wilson and Jackie Chan make sure it is hilarious fun from start to finish.
16	Bulletproof Monk	77	-	This enjoyable chop socky nonsense has all the right ingredients: mystical gibberish, over the top fights, cartoon villains, a femme fatale and, of course, an ill disciplined apprentice learning the secrets of life from a patient master.
17	The Matrix Revolutions	77	80	The only hope for the besieged city is one man and his faithful companion on an impossible mission right into their enemy's stronghold. No, it's not The Return of the King, but the fascinating, action-packed, and occasionally baffling final chapter in the Matrix trilogy.
18	The Hulk	76	63	Ang Lee blends shades of Frankenstein and Dr Jekyll with the big green angry guy to produce an impressively intelligent film, aided by the very latest in super-real special effects.
19	X-Men 2	75	75	More than passable sequel to one of the best ever comic to movie adaptations. Jean Grey and Wolverine are cool, but there are too many characters for anyone else to get much of a look in.
20	Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines	75	70	Arnie is back, but James Cameron is not, in this mostly conventional mega budget action event movie. The action is great but (other than a set-up for T4) the story runs along more or less identical lines to it's 1991 predecessor.
21	Mystic River	75	-	Penn, Robbins, and Bacon are excellent as three men linked by a tragic event from their childhood. Directed by Clint Eastwood, this is a slow burning murder mystery that maybe focuses more on the characters than the story itself.
22	Alien: The Director's Cut	75	-	Ridley Scott, gives his sci-fi horror classic a few extra touches and while pretty good as far as it goes, it is more important for its iconic influences than for its qualities as a great film.
23	Cidade de Deus (City of God)	74	71	Hyper-violent, but compelling tale of life, death, and coming of age in the slum gangs of Rio.
24	Underworld	74	72	Vampires and werewolves fight an (un)deadly war under the streets of a perpetually gloomy city. Great concept, terrible characters, but a Catwoman-in-the-Matrix clad Kate Beckinsale saves the day.
25	Finding Nemo	74	62	There's an oceanful of talent at Pixar Studios and this year's movie is no exception. This fishy tale of parental love has the usual clever dialogue and smart casting while the visuals set new standards for computer animation. Great fun for kids and adults.
26	Gangs of New York	73	70	Scorcese finally brings his epic vision of early new York to the big screen, with a brilliant Day-Lewis, a suitably stern DiCaprio, and a wasted Diaz.
27	Catch Me If You Can	72	68	DiCaprio plays notorious con-man in sympathetic light. Light hearted but still as polished as you'd expect from the likes of Spielberg and Hanks.
28	Cypher	72	-	Inventive and unexpectedly compelling thriller with Jeremy Northam as timid suit who finds himself immersed in a baffling world of high tech espionage where nothing is what it appears to be.
29	The Pianist	71	72	Haunting, but lengthy, tale of despair and hope in German occupied Poland, as seen through the eyes of Jewish piano player.
30	Phone Booth	71	69	Keifer Sutherland's moralistic sniper threatens to blow away Colin Farrell for appearing in too many movies this year in this overblown but engaging thriller.
31	21 Grams	71	69	Innovative thriller from the the highly rated Alejandro Inarritu with the twisting fates of the three main characters told in anything but chronological order. It's all very clever and would have been brilliant but it unfortunately seems to lose momentum towards the end.
32	Star Trek: Nemesis	70	64	Not the major event that Trek movies used to be, but still enjoyable sci-fi fun.
33	Kill Bill Vol. 1	70	71	Tarantino's homage to cheesy kung fu movies delivers exactly that: ultra deadly assassin goes on two-wrongs-make-a-right mission to exact revenge on those who left her for dead. Gloriously gory but ends abruptly after original concept was annoyingly cloven into two separate films.
34	Spirited Away	69	64	Little girl defies overwhelming odds to triumph over adversity in weird fantasy world. Think Alice in Wonderland meets The Wizard of Oz. Charming and clever but a tad over-rated. Maybe something was lost in the translation from Japanese to English.
35	Seabiscuit	69	77	Unashamedly feel-good movie of how a down and out jockey, a loony horse whisperer, and a car salesman turn a lazy nag into a superstar. A must-see for equestrian fans, think 'Chariots of Fire' but with horses.
36	Perfect Strangers	69	56	Haunting, funny, emotional, suspenseful, bizarre - these are all words that could be used to describe this very unusual film from New Zealand. Rachael Blake stars as a woman who meets Sam Neill's mysterious stranger in a bar - and has her life changed forever.
37	Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World	69	56	Russell Crowe is at his grizzly best as Captain Kirk type who boldly sails to the other side of the globe, dispensing (and learning) lessons on leadership and cunning whilst doing battle with technologically superior enemy ship.
38	Confidence	68	62	Entertaining, but unremarkable, heist / sting film with all the twists and turns you would expect from this genre. Ed Burns is well-suited as the crafty but likeable con-man.
39	Identity	67	-	Seemingly run-of-the-mill slasher thriller that lifts itself slightly above the rest of the pack thanks to a reasonably clever twist and the presence of the infallible John Cusack.
40	The Italian Job (2003)	67	77	Elaborate and far-fetched American re-working of elaborate and far fetched British classic heist movie, complete with Minis. It's got all the tension packed thrills, but lacks the charismatic cool of the Ocean's Eleven remake.
41	Thirteen	67	68	Brutal look at a few months in the life of a sweet young teenage girl who, desperate to fit in, goes dramatically and graphically off the rails while her family implodes around her. The acting is convincing but I found the tone to be pessimistic (or does that just mean that I am 'out of touch'?).
42	I Capture the Castle	66	-	Surprisingly watchable coming-of-age drama about two naive girls brought up in a rundown castle. Held together well by newcomer Romola Garrai as narrator / protaganist Cassandra.
43	Once Upon a Time in Mexico	66	60	Banderas and Depp are in good form in Robert Rodriguez's latest tale of revenge and gunfights. The showdowns are stylish (and gory) but I'm afraid that most of time I wasn't sure who was shooting who and why. Maybe it doesn't matter.
44	L'Homme du Train	65	-	Yet another movie about old people evaluating their lives, but at least this French effort has a bit of drama and two actors on top of their game.
45	Spy Kids 3D: Game Over	65	-	The storyline is incomprehensible (something like Tron meets The Matrix) and the 3D glasses are hard work, but otherwise this is all sly jokes, crazy cameos, and loopy childish fun.
46	The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen	65	-	Flawed 19th century heroes battle personal demons and team up to save the world. Potentially (and actually) very silly but the action is non-stop and it's nowhere near as bad as I expected. Would have been better without the ridiculously open ending.
47	City by the Sea	64	-	More a sermon on parental responsibility than a thrilling police drama, made watchable by top cast (lead by de Niro).
48	Confessions of a Dangerous Mind	63	70	Sam Rockwell is amazing in this oddball, macabre, and sometimes rambling biopic of eccentric game show host Chuck Barris. George Clooney makes his debut in the director's chair.
49	Nicholas Nickleby	63	-	Some great acting brings out the best of some of Dickens' most memorable characters but, as expected, by compressing this enormous book into two hours, the plot feels patchy and rushed.
50	Tears of the Sun	63	-	Small band of gung-ho Americans make the world a better place through use of extreme violence and unlimited bullets on evil undemocratic foreigners. You've seen it all before but Bruce Willis is definitely the right man for the job.
51	Cold Mountain	63	75	Oscar-hungry epic from Anthony 'English Patient' Minghella has Law and Kidman as surprisingly wooden sweethearts separated by the horrors of the American Civil War. Luckily, the supporting cast (Zellwegger, Portman, and Seymour Hoffman) are more lively than the leads.
52	Daredevil	62	50	Supposedly dark superhero tale, more enjoyable if you ignore the fact that it's really more 'comic book' than 'action movie'.
53	S.W.A.T.	62	61	Standard-issue non stop action thriller with LAPD special team on the trail of a not overly resourceful foreign villain. The ever present Colin Farrell and Samuel L. Jackson provide the star-power
54	The Ring	61	-	American remake of Japanese horror classic, ultra-creepy, with a plot that makes little or no sense. Stars former Antipodean soap regulars Naomi Watts and Martin Henderson.
55	American Pie: The Wedding	61	-	Ah, there's nothing like a good wedding. Of course, this juvenile nonsense IS nothing like a good wedding, but Eugene Levy and Seann William Scott provide enough laughs to keep you going until the buffet opens.
56	The Magdalene Sisters	60	57	Horribly depressing (but, unfortunately, probably accurate) story of the treatment of young women at the hands of a repressive Catholic society.
57	Old School	60	-	Low-brow and low-plot but there are just enough moments of hilarious dumb humour to make this middle aged Animal House a worthwhile watch.
58	Two Week's Notice	59	55	Hugh Grant and Sandra Bullock are typically charming in this by the books romantic comedy.
59	Buffalo Soldiers	59	55	Vicious black comedy that revels in what appears to be criticism of the American military but lacks coherence in its message and its story. Joaquin Phoenix is solid in the lead role.
60	The Human Stain	59	68	It's hard to fault the performances of Hopkins and Kidman, but this story of an aging classics professor reflecting on the lie that has dominated the course of his life is a little too sombre and depressing for my liking.
61	The Good Girl	58	61	Sometimes darkly funny, this suburban character study is mainly notable for a Jennifer Aniston performance that maybe starts to shake off her 'Friends' typecast.
62	Casa de los Babys	58	62	Interesting slice of life as seen through the eyes of a variety of people involved in the adoption of Mexican babies. It's nice enough, with a cast of recognisable B-list actresses, but not much happens.
63	Elf	58	-	Will Ferrell is game to take on silly role as human brought up by North Pole elves, but this is really just another in a long line of the feelgood yuletide fare that is always served up at this time of the year.
64	Solaris	57	62	Soderbergh and Clooney remake old Russian sci-fi sleeper. Thought provoking but strangely lacking in emotion.
65	Secretary	56	68	Quite bizarre movie chronicling the unorthodox relationship between a smalltown lawyer and his decidedly odd personal assistant.
66	Anger Management	55	-	Patchy odd-couple comedy with Adam Sandler's mild mannered businessman assigned to Jack Nicholson's eccentric self-help guru. Most of the best bits involve Luis Guzman.
67	Johnny English	54	46	Rowan Atkinson reprises his bumbling secret agent in this occasionally funny, but mostly juvenile, James Bond spoof.
68	The Recruit	53	-	Might have been OK, but the trailer gave away most of the plot, to the point where even Pacino was unable to restore the drama.
69	Bringing Down the House	53	-	Predictable and unchallenging racial-clash comedy with Steve Martin's uptight white lawyer's life turned upside down by Queen Latifah's sassy black convict. Eugene Levy is classic, as ever.
70	Love Actually	53	50	Supposedly a festive celebration of love but this ordinary film has too many characters, lame humour (disappointing from the man who brought you Blackadder), and, ironically, little or no love. Unless you consider a Prime Minister learing at his secretary to be the height of romance.
71	How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days	52	67	Predictable and formulaic revision of a romantic comedy staple, this time with McConnaughey and Hudson as the pair who date each other for a bet.
72	Bruce Almighty	52	-	Jim Carrey is back in his element (loud, over-exaggerated physical humour) but without much of a plot, the comedy feels a bit forced.
73	Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle	51	61	This plotless wonder is less a movie than a series of loosely connected music videos, gratuitous camoes, and indulgent pop culture references. As Alex (Lucy Liu) so aptly puts it at the end of the film, "It's a no-brainer..."
74	Hollywood Homicide	50	-	Young, energetic cop is teamed up with grizzled old one to battle rap-talking crooks, corruption, and (of course) "the man who killed his father". Cliche-ridden and unexceptional all round.
75	8 Mile	48	64	Rocky meets The Karate Kid behind Eminem's microphone. If you like rap, it's great, otherwise......
76	The Core	47	-	This 'underground Armageddon' is so preposterously far fetched and formulaic that you almost wonder if it wasn't really supposed to be a brilliant tongue-in-cheek homage to cliched disaster movies.
77	Zatoichi	46	-	In Japan, Zatoichi is famous as the mystical blind swordsman who rights wrongs with infeasible invincibility. Such a cool concept (copied in the West by the likes of Blind Fury and Daredevil) but this latest incarnation has a meandering plot and is just plain wierd.
78	The Hours	40	55	Beautifully crafted and brilliantly acted, but extremely torturous for those of us not willing (or able) to search for the meaning behind the whole thing.
79	Final Destination 2	39	-	The classic horror movie sequel. Replays the original with different characters, gory deaths, and enormous plot holes a teenager could drive her Dad's flash 4x4 through.
80	Far from Heaven	37	-	Just because a film deals with 'big issues' like sexuality and race, that doesn't automatically make it good. This is far too preachy and cliched to be enjoyable.
81	Bad Boys II	32	57	The boys are back and they're "badder" than ever (but unfortunately, not in a "good" sense). This unnecessary sequel is so excessively violent and so tediously long that you almost don't notice how incomprehensible the plot is.
82	Maid in Manhattan	31	51	I've always thought that Ralph Fiennes and Jennifer Lopez were over-rated and this excrutiatingly juvenile Cinderella story does nothing to change this opinion.
83	To Kill a King	29	10	Valiant attempt to depict the important story of Cromwell's revolution but, unfortunately, this stilted affair is boring and hard work for those unfamiliar with the period.
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Last Updated 29 December 2003