~Silent Screaming~
Inspired by Allen Ginsberg’s Howl
Part 1 WORLD I watched the world fall away from me,
a world of hunger pain despair hope love compassion a myriad desolation not worth fighting for,
a world with whom I have made no peace but will forever be at war with,
a world with out people whom could understand me,
a world of a dark abyss caused by my mind,
holiness of a world holy desecration of my soul a time of pain pain pain pain pain hope for what,
a world without my friends I lost them they ran they cried they died they left,
do unto me what I intended to do to you in this world world world of shit,
a world of sitting and watching leeching until the ones you watch are dead and continuing to watch even then because you have forgotten how to be a human being,
a world of trying and failing because your backers pulled out last minute,
my world does not exist your world his world their world,
a world,
a world of crying out and not being heard saying shouting yelling howling same words over and over never stop never never never stop,
a world of forcing my self onto worse things,
a world of silent tears and screams of terraneous cavernous ravenous hi-dee-ho speak your mind while we ignore you crying,
a world that has rejected me and I it and now I ascend to another world,
a world of shit.
Part 2 Imagine All The People
I’m walking down the street of the world and I stop at a crosswalk to see all the people standing near me,
all the people who judge others on petty things,
all the conformists,
all the sheep
baa baa baa baa bleat jump follow over the cliff all you lemmings,
all the jocks with cars that are too big,
all the punks who get shunned,
all the pagans who hide what they are,
all the gays and lesbians who are insecure because no one feels it is right to tell them something nice for fear they might think it’s a come-on,
all the ones who are sick of it,
all the ones who have helped when no one’s asked,
all the ones who volunteer time money space an ear a heart a lung an eye their skin,
all the ones who told me that we are all slackers,
all the ones who say we will never get anywhere,
all the idiots who think an “I’m sorry” actually helps the pain,
all the ones who quit but start again because they have nothing better to do,
all the dicks who beat their girls,
all the bitches who beat their guys,
all the victims,
all the lemmings,
all the goats,
all the propagandist communistic powermad cocksucking goatherders,
powerful mother images over their heads,
bloody unknown blank faced nobodies aching for a release,
all the hopefuls who will be rejected by their dreams of mescaline and blood,
all the poets who repress help help I'm being repressed their talent,
all the quiet ones who cower in a corner until they emerge with guns blazing,
all the ones who are unwontedly famous because they sought them out unwittingly,
barflies of love hate death and spoot wrapped in lettuce with a side of wild rice,
all the bibliophiles necrophiles nymphomaniacs triskadeskaphobics,
all the people, the beautiful people,
all the anorexic bulimic I'm so fat at 95 pounds,
all the liposuctioned perfectionists,
all the freaks phobics philes trekkies maniacs obsessives and crazies,
all the people who are too content to do a bloody thing too satisfied with their job work box box box car bike house,
all the upper middle class losers,
all the rich twenty somethings,
all the people with no future and no past,
fucking bastards unknowing what they destroy with a single word creation of empty wholeness,
all the closeminded idiot fucks who think I should change how I dress because they are not comfortable in their rigidity,
all the fuckers with their hair too long and their head shaved,
all the prejudiced narcissistic fucks,
all the fools who think saying fuck is detracting from the art of the word,
all the AIDS SIDS DOA MIA KIA BYOB AC/DC NOC FBI CIA KKK MTV VHI CCSF BRB ASAFP,
all the bi’s who can’t choose cause they are happy with who they are and all their friends say “Oh, the whole ‘bi’ thing” trying to push them to one side or the other when they are content with who they do,
all the ones who walk down the halls leering and staring at me talking behind their hands about me and my friends public affection,
all the ones with parents who are getting divorced because they need to go and find themselves when they were never lost to begin with unthinking of their impact on everyone around them thinking they can do as they wish without any thought to the people they leave behind,
all the idiots who grunt and groan in class, seeking a laugh in any way possible disrupting the lives of the puddle of minds around them,
all the ones who watch the clock voraciously trying to ESP it later,
all the ones who fail cause they are bored by the fill in the blank multiple choice of classes designed for the idiots that have persisted in the gene pool,
all the ones who scribble day after day trying to assuage the lust of pain they have but they don’t know they have it and they think they are answering their calling when they are bleeding their life out on the page of public opinion,
all the ones who fuck their friends until they are no longer aware they are now enemies,
all the people trapped in a dead end relationship unwilling to call an end to it because they don’t want to disappoint their parents who got married at the same age when sodas cost a nickel and suck was a dirty word,
all the ones whom turn to the art of others to assuage the pain they feel until they make art of their own that then helps others thru that pain,
all the ones who sit everyday in class listening bored out of their pea brains never knowing that they are trapped in the world of school they could escape they could cut but they would never risk the wrath of their parents blind eye to what they do everyday never even noticing if they are home,
starburst of creative imaginings winding around the mists of thought,
all the creators who turn to destruction to showcase their works,
all the bi girls who feel exploited yet supremely satisfied because most times they get laid they have threesomes because the guys always get off on seeing two chicks fucking,
all the boys next door who hide behind their momma’s skirt and come out twenty years later wearing it,
all the dorks and geeks who retaliate by ruining the lives of their tormentors thru the interstellar cyber ability they wield with deadly accuracy,
all the ones calling and calling un-known until the phone is picked up and words are spoken to the waiting ear just as the handset is torn off so they won’t have to hear the babble anymore,
all the ones who beg and plead to be let in and are turned away to wait for years until they are old enough,
all the ones who get off on the animated figures drawn in the sweaty self pleasure of an adolescents mind until it is pitched and becomes the biggest selling thing in the world because of those lonely sweaty adolescent boys and dedicated gamers who deny their stock is rising,
all the lonely ones who stay home night after night with boxes of macaroni and cheese hoping no one sees their desolation,
all the celebrities who run and hide ducking under cover of a tam and scarf until they catch the train to Washington,
all the ones who are sick of the cameras and mikes stuck in their faces,
all the “can we get a statement? How do you feel? How are you dealing?” and most especially “Do I look devastated enough?” fucking inconsiderate pricks not caring that the pain is still fresh in our minds uncaring that we don’t want to talk about it any more uncaring,
all the ones who think they can make a name for themselves by copying what was done,
all the ones who are still hurting, still pained their friends died that day and they know they will never get them back no matter how much they pray to their god,
all the ones who know they will never get over this and the guy who killed himself just before grad is the only the first of many,
all the ones who think that being assistant manager for a fast food restaurant is something to be proud of when surrounded by people who are millionaires,
all the ones who think foosball and enjoying yourself are capital crimes,
all the ones who obsess on a movie hoping no one can see how pathetic their life really is not even seeing it themselves,
all these I saw before the light changed and the crosswalk of oblivion ecstasy GHA acid pot sex latex school everclear methamphetamines anger opened up to us and we walked across to the pit of everlasting stench.