Patalone was a peaceful island until the neighboring island of Liberon began its saber rattling. In 1997, Liberon declared war on Patalone, and we have been at war ever since. The goal of this update page is to inform the global public about the expansionist aggression of Liberon.

The United Nations Security Council has scheduled a vote on a proposed blockade of Liberon for August 28, 1999. Preliminary assessments show support of all of the major voting members, with the exception of the United States. The United States has taken the position that it should not "interfere in the conflicts of sovereign nations." The government of Patalone believes this position to be contradictory to the United States' actions in Yugoslavia, Somalia, Kuwait, etc. We suspect that the true motivation is the pressure from the White House due to the suspected Liberon-Cuba-United States triangular trade involving military weapons, cigars, and sugar beets. If you are a citizen of the United States, please contact your representatives and urge them to support the proposed blockade of Liberon.

The citizens of Patalone wish to express there gratitute to Marita Covarrubias from the office of the Special Representative to the Secretary General. She learned of the Liberon aggression from this website, and brought the situation to the attention of the Secretary General and Security Council.

On May 14, 1999 at 6:00 AM, a group of Patalone battleships attacked and destroyed Port Tunguska on the northern coast of Liberon. Port Tunguska was an important gateway for Liberon commerce, accounting for approximately 40% of Liberon's trade volume. This attack was the first major counteroffensive undertaken by the Patalone National Army.

On March 15, 1999 at 5:25 AM while on a early morning jog, Phil Kerosene spotted a Liberon inflated raft approxmiately 1 mile off the northwest coast of Patalone, near Grant's Point. As the raft approached, Mr. Kerosene observed that the raft contained 8 heavily armed members of the Liberon Navy W.H.A.L.E. force. Mr. Kerosene later stated that he considered calling the Patalone National Army, but feared there would not be enough time for them to respond. Mr. Kerosene armed himself with the only convenient weapon available, a butter knife. Bravely, Mr. Kerosene swam 1/2 mile out to sea (without a wet suit) towards the Liberon raft. Fortunately, he was not spotted by the approaching Liberons. Somehow, Mr. Kerosene used his butter knife to puncture the raft, putting a sudden end to the dangerous Liberon attack. The Patalone National Army later captured 3 of the 8 Liberons, and the other 5 are presumed to have drowned.

In recognition of Mr. Kerosene's brave defense of Patalone, Supreme Commander Hasmeen Pistachio renamed Grant's Point to Butter Knife Point.

Approximately 150 Lord Kimbote Island refugees were found drifting 50 miles west of Patalone by a Patalone National Army vessel. They were rescued and welcomed in a warm but somber ceremony in Patalone by the Bay.

We have learned that Lord Kimbote Island has surrenderred to Liberon. Despite their valiant resistance, Lord Kimbote Island becomes the third island to fall victim to Liberon expansionism. When will the world take notice?