"I'm Only Happy When I Starve:"
Sara Jane's Introduction To the World Of Anorexia
Even as a toddler, Sara Jane Moody showed extraordinary signs of being an awe-ispiring prodigy. When only three years old, she picked up a hair brush, pretended it was a microphone and belted out "Mamie" for a stunned mother and father. Apparently, Sara Jane had pulled her father's old records, including those by a past favourite, Al Jolson. While her parents, Emily and Ross Moody sat enraptured, their talented child entertained them with a litany of songs, all of them sung on key, with nary a missed lyric.
"My God, child!" Ross enthused, clapping vigorously. "When did you learn to do that?? It's amazing!"
Sara Jane smiled, finding that she loved the sound of applause even at that tender age. "Daddy, I love this! I want to be a singer. I do!"
Emily wasn't so sure if this was a good thing or not. "Wait a minute, honey. She sings one song and suddenly she's a singer? She's just a little girl, barely out of diapers for God's sake!"
Ross got to his feet and swept Sara Jane into his arms and spun her wildly. "Why does everything have to be a dark cloud to you, Em? Let the little lady have her moment."
Sara Jane's smile disappeared. Though only three, she was well aware of her parents' continued battles behind their bedroom door. They didn't know that their daughter listened in every night, then went back to her room and sobbed until she fell asleep. She put the brush down and slunk, dejectedly into her bedroom without a sound, closing the door behind her and crying into her pink pillow.
Ross turned to Emily and bristled, "Dammit, why must you always put a negative spin on everything?? Sara Jane is a musical genius, for God's sake! You heard her just as well as I did. You are taking something special, something rare and beautiful and turning it into a story that will definitely have a bad ending."Ross loosened his tie and made a beeline for the bedroom. "I can't deal with this right now. I'm going to bed."
"There he goes, running away with his tail between his legs. You just keep walking and one of these days you'll head out the front door and won't be able to come back in."
"Fine! You go do what you want, Emily Moody--or should I say, "Moody Emily"?
Sara Jane might well be a musical prodigy, but she was still, nonetheless just a little girl with three-year-old feelings. While singing, she could put herself in a better place---fantasizing that she lived in a huge, pink castle with fluffy animals and a kindly giant who would scoop her up into his arms and carry her miles and miles away to a place where grown-ups were kind and loving. But at least she had her singing. That might take her away to the same place as her gentle giant.
. . . . . . .
Four years had gone by since Sara Jane's heart had been captured by singing happy songs. She was seven years old now and had been taking voice lessons for nearly three and a half years. She'd even learned to play the piano and had starred in numerous recitals with children her age who sat, enraptured, as one of their peers seemed to soar with the angels. Sara Jane's friends weren't jealous in the least, however, because everyone liked the slightly chubby child and felt special to be counted among her buddies.
She had grown to embrace soul music and her idol was none other than Aretha Franklin. Sara Jane would belt out numbers like "Respect" with total abandon and her audience was transfixed. Emily and Ross knew they had something special---a twenty-year-old in an eight-year-old's body. Her parents were about to surprise their wunderkind with an opportunity of a lifetime: To become a contestant on one of the most prestigious talent shows in television history: "Listen To My Talented Kid!" Ross had had to really work hard to convince his stubborn wife that it was Sara Jane who wanted to further herself as a singer and not her father's. Her mother and father had reached a tenuous agreement about their daughter's future. After spending nearly a year apart, during which Emily moved back in with her mother, taking Sara Jane with her, she and Ross, a tall, thin man with salt and pepper hair and liquid eyes remained in the family home. Emily, a short, somewhat thickly built woman who hadn't received more than a grade eight education, was as different from her husband as were their body types. But Ross had fallen in love with her just the same. Their whirlwind courtship had been short and intense, with marriage following less than a year after they'd met and a pregnancy came soon after that. She and Ross had been so in love that their union seemed to have a life of its own. They foresaw nothing but good times, lots of loving and prosperity. Both of them were incredibly immature in that they actually believed they'd never encounter any problems as long as they loved one another. So when reality came crashing down around their ears, they were ill-equipped to deal with it.
. . . . . . .
The audition for "Listen To My Talented Kid!" couldn't have gone any better. Sara Jane wowed the judges and made fellow contestants worry. She belted out "Ain't Too Proud To Beg" and brought the house down. She was in for certain and it was just a matter of time before the incredible whiz kid took the top prize. She won hands down and was well on her way. On her eighth birthday, Sara Jane celebrated by getting into the music studio to cut her first demo. This little powerhouse had written three songs, all of which would appear on the record. It was almost frightening to see how far she had come in a mere few years. The little lady was happy---finally, her dreams were in reach and she would have her career to focus on, rather than the on-again, off-again union of her embattled parents.
. . . . . . .
It took quite a bit of time before Sara Jane's musical accomplishments made her a bona fide singing sensation. Several difficult years of writing, continued singing lessons and failed projects were discouraging to Sara Jane. For awhile, she even considered leaving the music business behind and enrolling in public school to be around other kids her age. That would change dramatically when our girl was picked up by Arista Records and a subsequent multi-platinum album followed. Nonetheless, Sara Jane remained grounded and never let her success to to her head. She felt that somehow, she didn't deserve to be a star. Not very long ago, she was just a modestly talented little girl whose bubble could have burst at any moment of any given year. Yes, Sara Jane was a star, but harboured the same insecurities and self-doubts of all teenage girls.
It wasn't long before she began to have doubts about her appearance. Sara Jane had been plump ever since she was a baby, but it had never been an issue with her until now. Noticing that the other contestants on the "Listen To My Talented Kid!" show were substantially thinner than she, the girl began a rigorous diet and exercise regimen that would have made a soldier in basic training exhausted. Severely cutting her calories to a mere four hundred a day and working out nearly five hours a day for weeks on end transformed the chubby Sara Jane into a rail-thin, near-skeletal body. She then cut her hair and dyed it blonde. The transformation was complete, or so she had hoped. Little did our singing powerhouse realize that her life was about to take a downward spiral and would leave her fighting for her life. The stage was set for tragedy.
Sara Jane Before Starvation:
Sara Jane, Getting Smaller:
Anorexia Begins As Sara Jane's Resolve To Be Thin Takes Hold:
If she had stopped at this point, Sara Jane would have still maintained a firm hold in the healthy range of weight-loss, but full-blown anorexia was just around the corner.
To be continued...
