| Baron Blood Released: 1972 MPAA Rating: R Genre: Occult/Witchcraft Nuts and Bolts: An ancient is evil is resurrected to plague a small Austrian village. The only one that stands to stop Baron Blood is his only living blood descendent. Summary: An American grad student, Peter Von Kleist discovers that his family has historical ties to one of the most bloodthirsty families of 17th century Austria. Entranced by such an interesting genealogy, Peter flies to Austria and is greeted by his uncle Karl Hummel. Karl tells Peter of his ancestor Baron Otto Van Kleist. Otto was the original owner of a gothic castle complete with dungeons and advanced torture devices. Through the years, the castle has become something of a national landmark and has been converted into a museum. Karl introduces Peter to Eva Arnold an archivist for the Van Kleist property. There is also a little retarded troll of a man named Fritz who is responsible for the castle’s upkeep. After introductions are made, Peter and Eva go to Karl’s home for dinner. During dinner, Karl goes into detail concerning the Baron’s notorious escapades. Otto Van Kleist was so hated by the local villagers that they had taken to calling him Baron Blood. Allegedly he was known to impale those who wronged him on large spikes atop the parapets of his castle. But Baron Blood’s greatest challenge came in the form of a witch named Elizabeth Holly. Van Kleist burned Holly at the stake, but before she died she placed a powerful curse upon him. The Baron was cursed to die a death of equal measure to those whom he himself has killed. Holly’s curse was so complex that she even scribed a scroll by which the Baron could be resurrected just so he could be tortured some more. (What a bitch!) It is revealed that Peter’s family gained possession of the scroll, and Peter had brought it with him. Later on, Peter and Eva thought it might be fun to go into the Baron’s castle and recite the words from the parchment. (Why do assholes in horror movies always do dumb shit like this?) They ascend one of the higher parapets and Peter speaks the words Kunic, Sator, Oman. A great sense of dread overwhelms them and they finally realize that maybe the legends of the old witch were a little bit more than fable. There is a counter spell written by the late Elizabeth Holly designed to send Baron Blood back into the afterlife, but Peter accidentally drops it into the fire. (This dickhead is batting a thousand isn’t he?) Unbeknownst to them, Otto Van Kleist does indeed rise from the dead. His face is a twisted ruined mass of flesh and he wears a long dirty black cloak as well as a large wide-brimmed hat (very Phantom of the Opera). Baron Blood wants his property back but first he must find the means to supplant himself into modern society. Blood kills a few people including the castle’s caretaker Fritz whom he seals up inside of an Iron Maiden. He then creates a brand new identity for himself; that of disabled industrialist Alfred Becker. (Remember now kiddies; Otto Van Kleist=Baron Blood=Alfred Becker. Just so no one gets confused.) Somehow Blood finds a way to mystically alter his features so that his face doesn’t look like an ass turned inside out. A few days later the castle and its contents are auctioned off. Alfred Becker (of course) places the highest bid and inherits his old home yet again. Becker meets Karl Hummel, Peter Van Kleist and Eva Arnold. He asks Eva to stay on staff and continue archiving materials in relation to the castle. Later that evening, Becker appears as Baron Blood and chases Eva out of the castle and all over town. She finally screams her way into the arms of Peter who takes her home. She tells her story to both Peter and Karl who then report it to the police. The police can do little since they have no justifiable means for investigating a supposed ghost. (At this point, the three don’t realize that Blood is Becker.) The three are now convinced that the killer is not just another psychopath but is actually Otto Van Kleist resurrected. Since the counter spell was destroyed, they must find an alternate means of combating Baron Blood. They seek out a clairvoyant medium named Christina Hoffman. Hoffman knows the story of Elizabeth Holly and even has one of her medallions. Channeling Holly’s ghost, Hoffman learns that there is very little that can be done against Van Kleist (at least on the spirit plane). But before fading away, Holly tells the group that they do indeed have the power to stop Baron Blood. The following day the three are invited to Alfred Becker’s castle. Becker has nearly completed his restorations and he takes the group on a tour of his subterranean dungeons. He has even recreated the sounds of torturous screaming that he plays as a soundtrack whenever someone enters the torture chamber. Becker concludes his tour and the three decide that they have had enough of this sick twist and begin to leave. But Decker is determined to have the last word. He reveals that he is indeed the reincarnation of Otto Van Kleist and for some reason has decided to kill them all. They try to combat him, but Baron Blood appears to be unstoppable. Not even bullets will faze him. Blood eventually overcomes the trio and brings them all down to his dungeon. Both Peter and Karl are placed on torture racks while a beaten up looking Eva lays whimpering on the floor. (That’s all this bitch is really good for anyway.) Peter is literally getting the snot knocked out of him by Becker. He also enjoys whipping people as well. Eva finds the punctured remains of Fritz the caretaker whose body is still lying inside the Iron Maiden. Naturally the bitch starts screaming her fool head off and she accidentally drops Elizabeth Holly’s medallion onto Fritz’ chest. Butterfingers. For some inexplicable reason, Fritz returns to life as a blood-crusty zombie. Not only that, but somehow the medallion has succeeded in resurrecting the bodies of ALL of Van Kleist’s former victims. As Eva helps free Peter and Karl, a throng of pissed off zombies collapse upon Baron Blood. They strap him up to one of his own torture devices and its up to the viewer’s imagination as to what happens next. Acting/Dialogue: The acting is pretty decent in this. Joseph Cotton really shines as the notorious Baron. He only speaks when he is in his Alfred Becker persona, but in truth, he is actually more compelling as Becker than he is as the good Baron. A truly creepy fucker, Cotton’s rendition of Becker reminds me a lot of Sir Ian McKellan. (Lord of the Rings) Elke Summer plays the token scream queen and is more annoying than anything else. She brings nothing to the character and it’s a shame that she doesn’t get shoved onto a bed of spikes. Antonio Cantafora plays Peter. We are lead to believe that Peter is the lead character, but surprisingly Eva and Karl share equal amounts of screen time. The dialogue is a little hammy at times but the interaction between Karl Hummel and Alfred Becker make up for it. Gore: The gore in this film is spaced out pretty nicely and director Mario Bava shows that he doesn’t need to gross us out in order to tell a compelling story about sadism and torture. However, the special effects are kind of cheap and some of it is really fake looking. All told we see scenes containing: Disfigured characters, hanged characters, characters locked inside of a torture device and a couple of crusty zombies. Nothing overly intense here. Guilty Pleasures: None. The Good: Fans of the 1960s Hammer Horror films will probably enjoy this film. The best thing about this flick is the castle itself. It’s a tremendous set design illustrating a 17th century gothic style castle with spooky catacombs, wide archways and spiraling stone staircases. And then of course there’s the dungeon. We get to see the freshly oiled Iron Maiden put to good use and we even see the remains of a three-hundred-year old victim straddled atop a torture rack. And what haunted castle DOESN’T come with its very own hideously scarred portrait of the owner? Mario Bava makes great use of lighting to tell his story. Throughout the flick he uses varying shades of yellow and blue tints to highlight the contours of the castle as well as the small Austrian village in the valley below. The most noteworthy use of this effect occurs during a sequence where the Baron is chasing Eva all over town. The scene is a bit long but proves to be very effective. The character of Baron Blood is very loosely based on the real life 15th century Romanian Prince, Vlad Tepesch Dracul. Although admittedly, Prince Vlad’s most infamous effigy would be that of the Bram Stoker character, Dracula. But Baron Blood is actually truer to the genuine depiction of Prince Vlad than Dracula ever was. Not only was he a sadist and a madman, but also he delighted in impaling those whom he thought to be unworthy upon large spikes at the crown of his castle. There are a few small scenes here, which I found to be amusing. The first was a scene where Eva meets the crippled Alfred Becker for the first time. There’s a close up shot of Alfred’s hand, but we distinctly see his leg twitch slightly beneath it, which throws his entire disability into question. This is the earliest foreshadowing that tells us that Alfred Becker is really Baron Blood. Another scene I got a kick out of involved Becker’s renovations. From the outside of the castle, Peter and company sees what looks to be human bodies impaled on spikes at the lip of the tower. Becker explains that he wants the castle to look just as it did three hundred years ago. Peter, Karl and Eva are lead to believe that the bodies are probably just plaster statues or something. But a close up camera angle reveals this to not be the case. The bodies are very fresh and very juicy. All together, Bava weaves a compelling story, which is rich in atmosphere and tone. This film fits in nicely into the annals of classic horror cinema. The Bad: The sound quality on this fucking sucks! I don’t know if it is REALLY that bad, or maybe I just have a shit-ass copy. Everyone’s dialogue sounds really muffled except for the scenes where Elke has to scream her fool head off. That’s the only time the sound actually kicks in. I’d be interested in seeing what it sounds like on DVD. The music really blows too. Which I guess isn’t so bad, since the sound is practically absent. But the film opens with this extremely hokey 1970s J.C. Penny’s department store soundtrack. Christ, this shit is awful. The music pretty much sucks monkey nuts throughout the course of the film. The only time it doesn’t suck is when Christina Hoffman is communing with the ghost of Elizabeth Holly. The background music score actually sounds kind of creepy there. The special effects are pretty sub standard in this too. Baron Blood almost looks creepy until we get a close up of his face. When he stays in the shadows, he’s pretty scary looking, but upon close scrutiny, it becomes quite apparent that Bava let a crack addict into the latex factory on the first day of principal filming. The blood is equally fake looking. To be honest, it looks more like something I’d put on my pasta rather than see squirting out of my femoral artery. The only FX that looked halfway decent involved the zombified Fritz who had spike wounds all over his body. I’m still a little perplexed concerning the purpose of the medallion. Eva wields the thing like a crucifix and it appears to be the only thing capable of weakening the Baron. But why didn’t Holly simply tell them to use the medallion? Why be coy? I guess they had to figure it out on their own. Fucking ghosts. Can’t trust them worth a shit. Mario Bava’s Baron Blood is not the greatest of films, but I think it is deserving of some praise, and should be watched at least once. Great Lines: Can’t think of any right now. Overall Rating: 5 out of 10 severed heads. |
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