Godzilla 1985

Godzilla 1985

Released: 1985 (Duh!)

MPAA Rating: PG

Genre: Super Monster

Nuts and Bolts: It has been thirty years since the world last trembled at the sight of the thirty-story behemoth known as Godzilla. Now, the monster has somehow risen from the dead to raze the city of Tokyo once more. To make matters worse, the Japanese must also find a way to stop a Russian submarine from launching a satellite guided nuclear missile into the heart of Tokyo bay!

Summary: Let me start off by saying that this review is based on the Americanized version of the film released in 1985 not the original Japanese version. The Japanese version did not contain the footage of Raymond Burr.

A fishing vessel known as the Yamata Maru is destroyed somewhere in the South Seas. The only survivor is Hiroshi Okumura. A news reporter named Goro Maki investigates the floating ghost ship and finds Hiroshi practically catatonic in the galley. A large mutated sea leech attacks Maki and Hiroshi revives in time to save him.

The report gets back to the Prime Minister of Japan who surmises that Godzilla must have caused the attack. He issues a nation wide state of alert and Maki is forbidden from writing about the event in his tabloid.

But Maki is determined to get as much information as he can concerning Godzilla. He goes to a famous biophysicist named Hayashida whose family was lost during Godzilla's first rampage in 1955. While talking with Hayashida, Maki meets the Doctor's intern, Naoko Okumura. Coincidentally enough, Naoko is Hiroshi's sister. Maki takes Naoko aside and tells her that her brother survived the attack on the Yamata Maru.

Meanwhile a Russian nuclear submarine is attacked and crippled by an unknown threat. Once the news reaches the American State Department, the country is put on alert, as the Russian's will surely blame the Americans for the debacle. In order to prevent an international incident between the two cold war nations, Japanese Prime Minister Mitamura is forced to reveal what he knows concerning Godzilla. It is determined that Godzilla is responsible for the attack on the Soviet sub.

A summit is called between American, Japanese and Russian delegates. Both the Americans and Russians want to use nuclear warfare against Godzilla before he can attack Tokyo Bay. The Japanese government however is adamant in its stance against the use of nuclear weapons.

Before long, Godzilla emerges from the sea and begins thrashing Tokyo. Doctor Hayashida realizes that Godzilla's directional patterns seem to coincide with that of a nearby flock of seagulls. He divines that if he can electronically duplicate the birds' chirping, he can use the sonic signals to lure Godzilla away from Tokyo.

Meanwhile in the US, the Defense Department is unprepared on what measures need to be taken in order to stop Godzilla. General Goodhoe calls in specialist Steve Martin (Raymond Burr) the sole American survivor of Godzilla's raid on Tokyo in 1955. Martin arrives at the command center and preaches on about how Godzilla is a force of nature and that he cannot be stopped. He states that Godzilla is looking for something and if they could only discover what he is looking for, they may learn how to defeat him

Back in Tokyo, the Japanese defense forces decide to use a secret experimental hovercraft known as the Super X. The Super X flies about Tokyo unleashing a rain of Cadmium missiles on top of Godzilla. The missiles finally take their toll on the bird-chasing lizard and Godzilla topples over onto a skyscraper.

While all this is going on, we discover that one of the Russian crewmen of the crippled Soviet submarine has survived. Believing that the destruction to his vessel was the result of an enemy nation, he activates a satellite relay, which launches a nuclear missile towards Japan. (These guys really can't by a break can they?) The Japanese embassy begs the Americans to help them stop the missile before all of Tokyo is reduced to ash. General Goodhoe initiates counter-measures and they succeed in destroying the nuclear missile in the sky above Japan. (This was so obviously thought up by the American filmmakers. I doubt that the boys at Toho would show their government crying to the Americans for aid.)

While the missile is destroyed, the threat is far from over. Waves of radiation pour down and blanket Godzilla resurrecting him. Godzilla begins his rampage anew and not even the Super X can stop him this time.

Doctor Hayashida and the Prime Minister decide to activate their backup plan. Placing seismic charges on nearby Tashmi Island, the site of an active volcano, they use Hayashida's electronic birdcalls to lure Godzilla to the lip of the volcano. Detonating the charges, Godzilla falls into the volcano while producing the most heart-wrenching cry of agony you have ever heard.

Steve Martin sums up a narration explaining how Godzilla is meant to be a metaphor for all the ways that man can tamper with nature.

A special note on continuity: This film only acknowledges the existence of the first movie Godzilla, King of the Monsters (Or, Gojira as the original Japanese release was called). Everything that was released in between King of the Monsters and Godzilla 1985 is considered to be non-canonical and therefore not part of the authoritative Godzilla story. As far as Toho is concerned, these films never existed. Yes, that means there is no fucking MINYA!

Acting/Dialogue: This is a hard call to make. The only character that can really be commented on is Raymond Burr. In typical Perry Mason, he appears to be the authority on Godzilla, and he delivers his lines with stoic confidence. He's arrogant as all hell, but you let it slide because you know that in the end, he's right. However, I wish they had focused more on making Hayashida the voice of reason here rather than Martin. It would just seem to make more sense considering the Doctor had spent his life researching Godzilla. All in all, the acting is much better than what Godzilla fans are typically accustomed to. The dialogue however leaves something to be desired. It seems like the American re-dux took great strides to make sure that only Raymond Burr got the cool lines.

Gore: We get to see a Godzilla sized sea louse, which winds up with a cleaver to the back of the head. There are also some scenes where we can see blood running from Godzilla's mouth.

Guilty Pleasures: Poor Bambi. Read further for details.

I also get a kick out of the fact that Raymond Burr's character is ONLY referred to as Mister Martin in this. The character's full name is Steve Martin, but I guess people might laugh if they referred to him as such, since it would doubtlessly remind viewers of the American comic by the same name.

The Good: This is a difficult film to review. There seems to be equal servings of both good and bad. It's important to note that this film marks not only the first Godzilla film seen in over ten years but it is also the 30th anniversary of the American release of Godzilla, King of Monsters.

Let me start by mentioning the small animated featurette that is included with many of the VHS copies of this film. This sixty-second cartoon by Marv Newland is known as Bambi Meets Godzilla. In it, we see our passive hero Bambi innocently gnawing on some grass while the peaceful sounds of birds chirping and a flute play in the background. All of a sudden a big foot comes down and squashes the little fucker into paste. The foot of course belongs to Godzilla. This little teaser puts me into hysterics every time I see it. It's really short however, and it probably takes longer for you to read this than it does to actually watch the thing for yourself. Believe it or not, you can actually BUY this little gem off of Amazon.com for the low low price of 9.95! You're better off just spending the extra four bucks and get the main feature film, which includes the cartoon anyway.

Now! Back to the movie. We get a great intro as the Godzilla logo begins to slowly scroll across the screen. This is accented by a tremendous music score, that really gets you hyped for the film. Unlike other Godzilla flicks, this one draws you in immediately and you only have to wait a few minutes before you see our hero Goro Maki wrestling about with a sea leech!

The movie plods along but it does manage to keep your interest going. Raymond Burr is REALLY hyped up to be the bad-ass as they frequently focus on his 'intense looking eyes'. Interesting to note: Every time we see Burr, we begin to here these old sounding wood-pipes in the background. I guess that is meant to make him seem more intense.

Godzilla himself looks bad-ass and is without a doubt the coolest looking version of the daring dino to date. He even has a tongue this time! Woo-Hoo! The scenes of him destroying Tokyo are awesome and are complimented by some cool background music and great lighting effects.

Then there's the final death scene. Godzilla takes a header into an active volcano and the film really plays up the moment. We see all the cast members watching the event on pay per view and even the Japanese Prime Minister can't help but shed a tear as the poor old Zilla screams his death knell.

The Bad: If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a pretentious film. And this one is pretentious as all hell. It plays up the character of Steve Martin as if he were the world's reining authority on Godzilla. But he really is as useless as a Russian nuclear submarine with screen doors. It's amazing to see how the American military all bow to his every comment, just because his fat ass was lucky enough not to get munched in 1955. Not only that, but Mister Martin's great gift of perception gives us this little tidbit of dialogue. "He's looking for something. We just have to find out what it is he's looking for." Apparently they have YET to figure out what the big green fucker is looking for. This dangling bit of dialogue never gets resolved. (Props go to my pal Jase for being the first to point out this little continuity error. A Headhunter like NO other!)

It seems like every Godzilla film these days needs at least one smart-ass character that feels the overwhelming desire to lip off to Godzilla. In this, we have a drunken bum whose taking advantage of Godzilla's rampage by looting through abandoned buildings. He eventually falls into Godzilla's path just as the G-man stomps down on him. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

And now for the baddest of the bad; the Super-X! This stupid looking flying pick-up truck would not be so bad really if it weren't for the cheesy super-hero music playing in the background every time it fired upon Godzilla.

Then there's the ending. I have a real love/hate thing going with the ending. There's some great drama going on but at the same time, the actors REALLY ham it up.

Great Lines:

"You're really getting to be a nuisance!" --Drunken Bum yelling at Godzilla right before he gets squashed.

Overall Rating: 5 out of 10 severed heads.

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