| One year later and Iraq STILL sucks So here it is. We are less than one month away from turning over administrative control of that godforsaken desert back to the Iraqi governing council. And things aren’t looking too sweet either. Sure, Saddam is gone and I suppose that’s a good thing (Even though those shitheads in Washington won’t give him internet access so he come visit my website and sign my guestbook). But really, its starting to seem as if ousting Saddam was the only halfway decent thing to come out of this whole mess. We’ve alienated our puppet boy Ahmed Chalabi. We’ve done some pretty despicable things to the Iraqi prisoners in the name of “justice”. And those dickless fucks in Al Quada have lopped off Nick Berg’s head. The Iraqis are so pissed off that they are grabbing the Black Water mercenaries out of their jeeps and stringing them up to bridges. And every two bit little asshat with an uzi and a cause is pretty much forming their own little terrorist cult to bring down the “Great White Satan” (Their words, not mine). But you know what the worst part of it all is? When I took my piece of shit Ford Aspire down to the gas station last week, I was really hoping to get some Grade A, economy brand, Iraqi brewed petrol. You think I got that? FUCK NO! Gas is more expensive now than it’s EVER been. I thought the whole point of this farce was so that we could go over there, kick some ass, impart our Christian values and steal their oil! But nooooooooo…we can’t even get that right, now can we? Instead of cheap oil, all we found is a buried centrifuge and a jar of moldy cheese that Donald Rumsfeld is trying to pass off as a ‘weapon of mass destruction’. Yeah right, pull the third one Donny. And to make matters worse, it’s not like we even have anything to look forward to come November. It’s either going to be Bush or Kerry. Christ, that’s like God giving you a choice to have your ass raped by either Michael Myers OR Freddy Krueger. No matter which one you choose, its still going to hurt like hell when it slides up your backside. John Kerry isn’t presidential material. He’s the disembodied head from Re-Animator for fuck’s sake! Don’t believe me? See for yourself. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. It is a scary day indeed my friends when real life begins to parallel the horror movies that I love so much. But don’t worry my little Headites. Come November when the presidential process screws us over once again, I’ll be right there with you, bent over taking one more in the ass. I’ve got plenty of Vaseline and I’m willing to share. You’re not alone. Rectally yours, --The Headhunter |
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