| Open Letter To Joss Whedon and the WB: FUCK YOU! For the four or five of you who don’t know who Joss Whedon is, he’s the creator and writer of the movie Buffy The Vampire Slayer, the Buffy The Vampire Slayer TV show, The Firefly TV show and the recently deceased Angel TV show. Now before I go off on my rant, let me just preface this by saying that I am a HUGE fan of the Buffyverse franchise. I’ve got all the seasons on DVD. I’ve got the fucking action figures. I’ve got the fucking video game. I’ve got the fucking soundtrack. I’ve got the fucking comics. Christ, I even have a cheesy-ass Buffy the Vampire Slayer temporary tattoo lying around here someplace. Now, my geeky nature not withstanding, I think I’ve at least demonstrated that I don’t have any hatred or long-term ill feelings towards the Joss man. BUT I am seriously pissed off at him in regards to one particular episode of one particular spin-off. Readers, I’m gonna warn you now…I’m about to talk about the series finale of Angel, so consider this your spoiler warning. If you haven’t seen it, I suggest you stop reading now. WHAT IN THE NAME OF SWEET FUCKING SHIT SACKS WAS THAT? I forgive you for canceling Buffy, since that was more Sarah Michelle Gellar’s decision than yours. I even forgive you for killing off my main man Spike in Buffy’s final episode. But only because you brought him back in Angel. AND I even forgive you for killing off Cordelia a few months ago. And just to show you what a kind hearted sweet fucking guy I am, I’ll EVEN forgive you for killing off Wesley in the final episode. But what I won’t forgive you for is that suck-ass, shit-puking, cock-tease you call an ending! The heroes go off to fight the demons and then…what? Do they live? Do they die? Do they succeed? What the fuck is that supposed to be? Maybe nobody told you…but it’s the LAST FUCKING EPISODE OF THE SHOW!!!!!!!!!! As in..finis. Caput. No more. There is no “Next time on Angel”. And just to add insult to injury, it concludes with some bullshit thank you banner from “your friends at the WB”. Fuck that. If they were really our friends, they wouldn’t have cancelled the show while it was still in the black. Let me guess, they’re going to fill the timeslot with some stupid-ass “Skinny-Ass Slut Wants To Get Married” reality show right? God knows we have to keep the fucking retards of the world entertained! Besides, everybody knows the only cool reality show out there is Mad, Mad House. I’ve also heard some half-ass rumor somewhere that Angel was supposed to continue as television movies. Yeah right. This is the WB we’re talking about here Joss. They already screwed you twice! Now like I said, I have nothing against you personally. I wouldn’t have thrown away so much money on merchandise if I didn’t think you kicked-ass. But this one single solitary fuck-up makes me want to slap you across the face repeatedly with my goddamn balls! However, if you stop on by, read a few reviews and maybe even sign my guestbook, I think I can find it in my heart to forgive you…again. Ask anyone. I’m a helluva nice guy. --The Headhunter |
 |