Parent's Dictionary

AMNESIA:  Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to let her husband near her again.

BOTTLE FEEDING:  Opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 a.m., too.

DEFENSE:  What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let de children play outside.

DROOLING: How teething babies wash their chins.

DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order desert.

FEEDBACK:  The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

FULL NAME:  What you call your child when you are mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS:  The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

HEARSAY:  What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

IMPREGNABLE:  A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

INDEPENDENT:  How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

LOOK OUT!:  When it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

OW:  The first word spoken by a child with older siblings.

PRENATAL:  When your life was still somewhat your own.

PUDDLE:  A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

SHOWOFF:  A child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE:  What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

STOREROOM:  The distance required between supermarket aisles so children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.

TEMPER TANTRUMS:  What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset your children.

THUNDERSTORM:  A chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed.

TOP BUNK:  Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

TWO MINUTE WARNING: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL:  Able to whine in words.

WHODUNIT:  None of the kids that live in your house.

WHOOPS:  An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge".

Thanks for being number
Created by Barb 1998 and 1999