For now, check out the new version of my home page I am Bernard Schubach and you can click above to reference my new home page, or click below to see archived old material.

This is Bernard Schubach's home page @

I got this personalized url for free at

Bernard Schubach's homepage

Click here for my honeymoon pictures. We went to Vancouver and Alaska.

I have collected some Purim Torah. Purim Torah is a unique type of Jewish Humor which parodies serious Judaism in a fun and mocking way. To see my Purim Torah collection, please click here. Updated Feb. 23, 2001.

Click here for Special Election 2000 humor, added November 30, 2000.

New pictures added March 23, 2000. Click here to go straight to them.

Check out The 17 best Passover sites on the net.

Did you hear about the Jew who preferred to read Arafat's rags over the Jewish publications?
Why?Because he preferred to read that the Jews control the banks, Hollywood, and the U.S. Government than to read about all the in-fighting among Jews.
If you're like the Jew in the joke, check out Jew Watch WARNING: The Jew Watch homepage is RUBBAGE!!!
If you would prefer a more balanced viewpoint, check out Virtual Jerusalem or else keep scrolling down on my homepage.
So that you can get to know me a bit, please allow me to take you in a time capsule. You will be surprised to know that in 1970 when I was born, the U.S. portion of the internet (known then as the ArpaNet) was already one year old, and by the time I was one year old in 1971, the Internet had 23 computers connected to it. For more information on the history of the internet, you can click here.

I grew up in Beachwood, Ohio, which is a surburb of Cleveland. If you're planning a trip to Cleveland or are looking for something new to do there, please check out my Mom's Cleveland travel page. If you are looking for information on Jewish Cleveland, please check out

If you are not a geek, you might want to skip the following paragraph by clicking here. Otherwise, read on.

In my grade school and middle school years, I quickly developed an interest in computing, one that has lasted until this day. One of the first computers that I learned to program on was the TRS-80, and I used a language called BASIC. If you know how to program in BASIC (not Visual Basic, but plain vanilla BASIC), you might be interested in the TRS-80 Basic Interpreter which is written entirely in Java, and can be accessed without downloading any software to your computer. If you're a Java programmer and are interested in the source code, it can also be downloaded from the site.

If you are interested in old computers, you might enjoy viewing the Obsolete Computer Museum, or perhaps you would enjoy viewing IBM History highlights page or Yahoo's History of Computing page. I'm still young, but for a perspective on the history of computing that predates me by a few years, you might want to check out Bernie's Mom and Computers.

Before I get off the subject of computers:

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a great writer. When asked to define great he said: "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

I graduated from Beachwood High School in 1989. While in High School, I ran track and cross country, was editor-in-chief of the award winning Beachcomber, played on the chess club, and was in JCWA which is a club that participates in Model United Nations.

I attended The Ohio State University from 1989-1993 and again from 1995-1999 and obtained a Bachelor's Degree from the Department of Computer Science and a Master's Degree from the Department of Industrial and Systems Engineering. I was active at OSU Hillel and at OSU Chabad House.

I currently work as a computer programmer doing web programming, Windows programming, and Oracle programming. If you want to check out some of the work I've done for my employer, please check out or check out PMS 4.0 product brochure. I live in Columbus, Ohio. You can also check out The Columbus Pages for more information about Columbus.

I enjoy surfing on the internet. To see some inspiring stories that I've collected, please click here. I added new inspiring stories on November 7, 1999.

I have accumulated a variety of email address over the ears. If you think that you know all or most of my email addresses, please enter my CONTEST!!! The grand prize is a trip for 2 to visit me in Columbus (I didn't say who pays :-))

I also enjoy more serious Torah study. Whether you are Jewish or nonJewish, observant or nonobservant, Reform, Conservative, Orthodox, or unaffiliated, I think you will appreciate this story:

A gentile approached Rabbi Shammai (of ancient times) and asked him to explain the entire Torah on one foot. Rabbi Shammai sent him away. The gentile then approached Rabbi Hillel and Hillel told him "Do not do unto your neighbor what you would not want done unto you. Now go and Study!!!"
-- Gemara
In this spirit, I highly encourage you to check out my Mom's rendition of Rabbi Hillel. There is a link to return here after you have checked it out. My Mom's answer to the gentile on one foot. (added December 18, 1998).

We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers... For more information, please click to see The Paradox of Our Age.

I have devoted a whole section of my homepage to the cause of Jewish Unity. Please click here to read more, including my thoughts, some feedback that I have received, and some official positions from Orthodox organizations. Jewish Unity Section

Several years ago, I started doing Chitas. If you don't know what Chitas is, click here to find out more. This page modified January 16, 1999 with updated bookmarks and more info.

Click here to read what Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. has to say about Zionism.

Click here for a good Torah learning site, offering a huge variety of text classes. For classes on a more elementary level, check out Aish Hatorah. For a huge variety of Chassidic classes, click here Chabad. For audio classes and also Jewish music, click here. For a new site with some interesting Orthodox Jewish perspectives and Chassidic audio classes and also music, check out ThinkJewish. Click here for Virtual Jerusalem. Click here for Arutz-7 Israeli Radio. Click here for Shalom America, a Jewish radio program based in Cleveland, Ohio.

If you want to see what is currently happening at the Western Wall, please check out picture of the Western Wall in Jerusalem is updated every 60 seconds.

Whether you're a 13-year old preparing for your Bar Mitzvah, or you're a bit rusty and you've been asked to fill in as a Torah reader or to give a d'var Torah, I highly recommend ORT's Bible site with full instructions in English, Spanish, and Russian, and a full Hebrew Tikun, broken down by parsha and by calendar date.

If you have a burning question about Jewish knowledge or thought, please check out Ask-the-Rabbi web site. The team of rabbis answers each question they are asked, usually within less than a week. Sometimes their web site is down, so for faster service email your questions directly to The Rabbis' mailbox ( Put ASK-THE-RABBI in the subject line to ensure a prompt answer. If you can connect to their web site, you can view an archive of some of the more popular questions that have been answered. You can also subscribe to a very entertaining and informative weekly column of theirs from their web page.

One of the most useful pages I have found on the web is Havienu L'Shalom's 2000 year + Jewish calendar, including candlelighting times for any incorporated U.S. city and many international locations, also including Jewish/Gregorian calendar convertor.

Click here to learn Hebrew (or one of many other languages)

For a weekly Torah column out of Atlanta, please go to Torah from Dixie For Ohr Somayach of Money, please visit here.

Click here for places where you can download free software for Windows, Macintosh, and other computer platforms, including IRC software.

Check out my political philosophy by clicking here, or check your own political philosophy by clicking here.

Can you believe it? Major League Hockey has come to Columbus last year (in 2000). And you called us a cow town? For more information on this - and other stories happening in Columbus, OH, check out the Columbus Dispatch home page at Columbus Dispatch home page.

Columbus has a vibrant Jewish community. I now have a whole new section of my homepage devoted entirely to Jewish resources in Columbus, including kosher eats, synagogues, Judaism at OSU, Jewish learning, and more... Click here to check out the Columbus Jewry section of my homepage.

For some genealogy information about my family, click on Schubach genealogy

I adore my two nephews. Alan was born March 23, 1996. Joel was born April 11, 1998. They have such Life and Vitality and are so smart, cute, friendly, and GOOD kids! :-)


This site is a member of WebRing. To browse visit

Some of my friends who have home pages are: Nathan Morse, Leora aka Cloudee aka Eeyore, AND Levi Capland.

  • Click here for the Havva Java home page, created for enjoyment and to help anyone wishing to put Java on their home pages.

  • Check out the Prestwich Smile Germach

  • Click on the U.S. Flag for a page devoted to the U.S. Flag

    Check out Zee's site. Zee is one of my Mom's friends.

  • My mother's home page is now a Geocities featured home page. Check it out.
  • One of the highlights of her page is information about Toastmasters, an organization where you can learn to overcome stage fright and become an accomplished speaker! Also featuring additional pictures of our family, pointers to lots of icons, an ever-growing JOKES section and other cool stuff!

    I maintain the following mailing lists:

  • Jewish Jokes - Click here to access a very large Jewish Jokes archive. Jewish Communcation Network Jokes Archive.
  • Funny Jokes (not mutually exclusive)
  • Computer Jokes
  • I also forward the following items:
  • Jewish interest mailings (Occasional stuff from all different sources)
  • Chabad interest mailings (from Chabad Lubavitch in cyberspace)
  • Ask-the-Rabbi (forwarded from Ohr Somayach - Jerusalem, Israel)

    If you're interested in joining any of these lists, just mail me, at:

    :-) I like smileys, but I always use the boring kind with two eyes, a nose and a smile, and shown above. If you can think of a better kind, and I honor you enough to use it, then you should be honored, because I've seen lots of smileyes, and really like the above one. Here is a note that I received from Michael Alexander on February 13, 1997, featuring lots of cool smilies. Even better, here is a link that I found on Michael Alexander's page which is the ultimate smiley's page. I guarantee that you'll be amused by it.

    This page is under Construction , so please check back in a few days.

    people have visited this site since August 15, 1996, including you!

    I love getting email. To send me mail, click on my email address:

    Here is a Jewish Web Ring.

    This site is a member of WebRing. To browse visit
    Many thanks go to: WEB counter, for the tally, and to for hosting my web page.

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