You might be becoming too much of a fundamentalist when... * You pronounce "sin" with two syllables. * You enjoy talking to people in King James English. * You are building your own pulpit for your living room. * You think hair tonic is Biblical. * You believe Moses should have shaved. * You pronounce it "Bab-tist." * You say "Gosh" & "Darn." * You scrawl Bible verses on the bathroom walls at work. * You store tracts in your cellular phone carrying case. * You can trace Saddam Hussein's genealogy to Nebuchadnezzar. * You know that unscrambling "Santa" is "Satan." * You exchange any currency that has three 6's in a row. * You think credit cards are a tool of the devil. * You think computers are a tool of the devil. * You think that bar codes are a tool of the devil. * You think the band K.I.S.S. means Knights in Satan's Service. * You found back-masking on Amy Grant's albums. * You know the writing on the Statue of Liberty's tablet was put there by a Mason, in an Illuminati conspiracy. * You have a chart of the hidden symbols of the dollar bill. * You think movies are a tool of the devil. * You think Pat Robertson was okay till he ran for president. * You think Jerry Falwell is liberal. * You think Deviled ham is a conspiracy of the Illumnati. * You think the internet is a tool of the devil. * You think Charlton Heston was great in the Ten Commandments ...but you repent of watching it because movies are a tool of the devil. * You pronounce "repent" as "rheeeee-paint!" * You say Amen more than once an hour. * You pray so long your food gets cold. * You have a fish symbol on the back of your car, your boat, and your briefcase ...you'd get a tattoo, but they're tools of the devil. * Your wife puts a scripture tract about gluttony in your lunch. * You have your initals stamped on your 10+ Bibles. * You know four Greek words for love and their different usages. * You think Notre Dame football team are all secretly Jesuit priests in an Illuminati conspiracy. * You name your children after the apostles.
Editors note:
...actually, I could pretty well check off the above pokes at being overzealous for the Lord, so I can laugh at them for the legalism I was in. Seriously, if you are offended by the above, Write Me and we can talk about being set free from religiousity into a great freedom called Christianity. Notice I didn't say "into a great liberality"...