Headlines...or lack of them

Once again I have received a compilation of Actual Newspaper Headlines from the States. In most cases we must assume the editors were out to lunch.

-Include your Children when Baking Cookies
-Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
-Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
-Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
-Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
-Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
-Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
-Stud Tires Out
-Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
-Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
-British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
-Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
-Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
-Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
-Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
-Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
-Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
-Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
-Miners Refuse to Work after Death
-Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
-Stolen Painting Found by Tree
-Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
-Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
-Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
-Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
-Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84
-War Dims Hope for Peace
-If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
-Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
-Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
-Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
-Deer Kill 17,000
-Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
-Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
-New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
-Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
-Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
-Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
-Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
-British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
-Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
-Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
-Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
-New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
-Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
-Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
-Air Head Fired
-Steals Clock, Faces Time
-Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
-Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
-Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
-Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
-Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
-Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training