"Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency
they're going to catch you in next." - Franklin P. Jones
~~~ The New Parent's Dictonary ~~~
ATTITUDE: What anyone who can solve your child's problems has.
BARBIE DOLL: (if you have a girl) unrealistic expectations.
(if you have a boy) a gun.
DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him.
GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
GODSEND: any individual or group who offers to babysit for free!
HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do
everything we say.
OWWW!: the first word spoken by children with older siblings (followed closely by "mine!")
PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.
STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it with saliva.
TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
VERBAL: able to whine in words
WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house
- Compiled by laughalot-owner@laughalot.com
Original Sources Unknown