The following are tell-tale signs that you’ve lived in Saskatchewan too long:
Losing sight of the horizon for even a few seconds, leaves you with that icky feeling of disorientation for the rest of the day.
You’re confused when cars come equipped with options that would never be needed such as curb feelers and turn signals, and yet obvious options such as trailer hitches and air conditioning, are extras.
You actually understand, and perhaps can describe in detail, the geographical necessity for corrections lines.
You rent off-season storage space for you snowmobile on a week-by-week basis.
You sort your laundry into three loads: greens; whites; and green & whites.
Your other vehicle is a Massey-Ferguson.
Every birthday you receive exactly the present you most desperately need: a new curling broom.
You can’t understand why those American television networks never settle on a schedule, instead of shifting all their programs back and forth an hour every spring and fall.
While cleaning out your teenage son’s closet, you’re alarmed to discover tucked away in the back a foot high stack of old Western Producer magazines.
You’re on a first name basis with the clerks at the Payless Shoe store in Minot.
You always know Christmas is near because stores stay open late TWO nights a week rather than one.
You question why they didn’t call them the Cypress Mountains!
You catch yourself getting down to the radio jingles for post emergent broad-leaf weed control.
You actually have enough ball caps to match every shirt you own, although you still insist on wearing only one so the others don’t get dirty.
You overhear someone explain how he installed a counterbinder on his combine’s pulley-drive wheat flattener with a square head hydrostatic coupler, using a universal bushing degreaser, and you can’t believe he left only 5" inches of clearance between the kernel rotor and the straw-feed regulator, the idiot!
You don’t understand, and become quite emotional, when some outsider doesn’t know the difference between a farmer and a rancher.
Your idea of gun control is when you make sure the bead drawn on the gopher is aligned with the sights before you gently squeeze, not pull, the trigger.
When the bank teller asks to see some proof of identification and you point to the arm patch on you slow-pitch jacket.
You never realized you had a fear of heights until the day you made the mistake of peering down an open well.
Your pronunciation of "Saskatchewan" is down to 1.5 syllables: "Skatchw’n"
Once every 23 years you perform strange dances in public places after the Rider’s win the Grey Cup.
You think Calgary, Alberta is Saskatchewan's biggest city.
You'd wish they'd keep Saskatchewan rat free like Alberta by sending them to Ottawa.