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I'm not sure how or why I came by the decision to nurse my now 21 month old
into toddler hood. Alexis is my fourth. My first, now 13, was breastfed until he
was around 6 or 7 months, I guess.
My second, now 11, was 2 1/2 months early. I was determined I was going to breastfeed her also. Besides, I felt she needed it even more than a full term baby did. So I pumped and froze and transported all my milk to the hospital an hour away so that the nurses could feed her through her tube with my milk. Three weeks later, I was able to nurse her myself and a few days after that, we got to take her home. I know she did so well because of that breastmilk. She's never had a single problem since the day she came home. I nursed her until about 8 months.
My third, now 9, I am sorry to say, was not breastfed. I guess at the time, with the other two still so little, I just felt I wouldn't have enough time for them if I nursed him. He was also the only one I ever suffered postpartum depression with.
I remember the nurses making me feel so guilty in the hospital, because I supposedly was the only one on the floor who was not breastfeeding. Maybe part of that guilt is what has made me nurse this one so long. Or maybe it's because I'm more focused on what's important in life more now than I was back then. And the most important thing to me are my children and what's best for them. Don't get me wrong, I've always believed that, it's just more relaxed now.
I guess after the fourth, you become an old pro at it. Sometimes I also feel like maybe because this will most likely be my last baby, I want to hold on to every precious bit of time I can steal with her. As Alexis is getting older and more independent, she has slowed down her nursing somewhat. But as of yet, I don't feel her pulling away at all. She eats all the same foods as her brothers and sister, probably even more so of a selection. She's a healthy eater. But on days where she hasn't got a real big appetite for one reason or another, I know she'll get what she needs from me before the day is over.
She nurses when she's sleepy although she doesn't always fall asleep during feeding. Sometimes she'll finish and just lay with me and snuggle and fall asleep on her own. Yes, she does sleep with me and as of right now, I can't imagine her not being there. She does wake up a couple of times through the night hungry or maybe just restless and with her being right next to me, she usually just helps herself and goes right back to sleep. And of course throughout the day, there are plenty of times when she will let me know that I am not paying attention to her, and want to nurse. After a few minutes she will wonder back to her toys, with a smile on her face and milk dripping down her chin, to play, with a sense of self and security and love that nothing else in this world could give her than mothers breast.
I know she'll wean herself when she's ready. I'm the one I'm worried about, but knowing I've given her this good of start in life, that no one else ever could have, I'll get through it. Besides, I know there will be a million other things down the road that she's going to need her mommy for, and no one else will do. And for that reason I feel there is no greater bond in the world than the bond between a mother and her breastfed baby, no matter what age.
Debbie aka Mother Bear
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Drop in on Mother Bear for a visit
http://www.oocities.org/Heartland/5500
Or drop the kids off for awhile
http://www.oocities.org/Heartland/5500/kids.html
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The image of nursing toddler is copyright 1997 Lori Thompson Photography.
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