by Darrell D. Neet
Save the Nation Publications
We are often perplexed by some of the questions which people put to us concerning having a large family and sometimes irritated by contemptuous comments. But, because there is so much misinformation and deception concerning families who receive children beyond the "politically correct" one or two, we would like to address these issues and hopefully put some of the confusion to rest. These questions range from the Neanderthal, "Don't you know what causes this?" to some very intriguing and challenging questions both intellectually and morally. Some of our answers may be scientific, but most often they will be religious in nature, seeing life from a spiritual, creation-oriented perspective. It is our view that we serve a very wise and powerful God through Jesus, the Lord's Christ who by him. . .
Col. 1:16 For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and
that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or
dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him,
and for him:
Col. 1:17 And he is before all things, and by him all things
consist.
As we ponder this list, it is apparent that we could fill the pages of a book and not just a small pamphlet such as this. It would not address our needs nor those of you our friends to make this treatise too lengthy, so here we go. . .
This type of question can come from anyone. From the inquisitive mind of a four year old to the grandmother who entreats you as she passes by in a grocery store. Our answer is this: We do not know how many more children we will have, or if we will even have any more children. We do not believe that God would have us do anything that would be an attempt to prevent having children, but we also believe that:
Ruth 4:13 So Boaz took Ruth, and she was his wife: and when he
went in unto her, the LORD gave her conception, and she bare a son.
Ps. 127:3 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of
the womb is his reward.
The Lord gives conception, as Jacob said to Esau, These are the
children that (Gen. 33:5) "God has graciously given. . ." In our
opinion, if Jesus is to be Lord of our lives he needs to be Lord
of every area of our life including our family size. It is not
a scientific fact that every couple who enjoy the intimacies of
married life will have children. This fact is obvious from the
millions of couples who desire earnestly to have children but
remain barren. I know of several families who (even though they
believe the way we do about having children) have not been able
to bear more children. To us it is certainly the Lord who gives
life, it is the Lord who gives conception and it is the Lord who
brings children safely to their parents homes. To us children are
as God says, "His reward." If you met a man who said he had
rewards to give you, and he began handing you 1 oz. pieces of
gold, smiling each time you took one; when, may I ask, would you
tell the man to stop and close his purse? And when we hear,
"Is this the last one?" We can only think of that scripture
wherein James defines what a submitted attitude ought to be like.
James 4:15 For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live,
and do this, or that.
This question we most often hear from those who consider themselves believers or followers of Christ. It comes from the following scriptures:
Ps. 127:4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children
of thy youth.
Ps. 127:5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they
shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
These are interesting questions. "I don't know how you can do it?" We don't know how we can do anything, but God has promised in His word, Phil. 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." We are no different than most people. In fact, most people we know are currently doing what it is that they really want to do. Most people make the sacrifices necessary to reach their goals. Our goal is simply to say, "If the Lord is willing, we shall be a family, a family of His design. Many people are able to achieve incredible results in many different life ventures mostly due to being willing to try, and being willing to perform the work it takes.
This is probably the most difficult for us to deal with. Again most of us afford the things that are important to us: cars, furniture, vacations, collectibles, savings accounts, homes and similar items for the children we do have. I know many people who have much more expensive cars than they need, who travel extensively and yet deceive themselves into thinking that they cannot afford to have children. There is no scriptural mandate for providing a "college education" for your children, or making sure that they dress in only "the best name brands." We do not always have it easy financially. There are times when we are worried about "going broke." These situations are not from having a large family: they are from our own poor judgment and planning. God has assured me that there is less shame in financial failure when we have chosen not to fail at the expense of others, than the shame of succeeding dishonestly at the expense of others. We believe that we cannot afford the pleasure of rejecting the "fruit of the womb..His reward." In fact, it is often the smiles and faces of our children which God uses to take us through those trying times and to make us feel "rich" in experiencing these children He has given us. The proverb says "Better is a bowl of soup where love is than a stalled ox where there is strife." Poverty and riches can be very different things to different people.
Ps. 107:41 Yet setteth he the poor on high from affliction, and maketh him families like a flock.
You know, every time I hear this statement my heart aches for those whose eyes have been blinded to the joy and fulfillment of "fruitfulness." I too am glad that "he is ours." Jesus said, "If you seek to save your life, you will lose it, but if you lose your life for my sake you will find it." So often we hear the words of those who are seeking to save their life, seeking to keep it as uncluttered and easy as possible, our hearts ache when we realize that they are being robbed, and often the culprit is their own selfishness. When I have asked others why they do not allow God to give them more children I have often heard the answer "I can't think of any unselfish reasons." How sad. There is a proverb which says, "Where no oxen are the stall is clean, but, there is much profit in the labor of the ox!"
If this statement made sense none of us would be here. When Adam and Eve were kicked out of the garden they were told that "cursed be the ground because of you, ..it shall now bring forth weeds for you..." Obviously the world that Adam and Eve were accustomed to had changed from a paradise to a near disaster. If they had used their own intellect and human logic, they may very well have concluded that "times were too hard to bring a child into the world." I believe the same could be said of Moses' parents and even Mary who lived under the cruelties of the Roman empire. Surely hard times will come and go, but as Moses and Jesus proved the very children of hard times may hold the keys to deliverance.
Childbirth may very well involve risks to the mother's body and in some circumstances her life itself. We know from scriptures that Rachel gave her life during the birth of her son Benjamin. We also know from the loins of Benjamin there were many heirs to Rachel who benefited from her sacrifice. Num. 1:37 Those that were numbered of them, even of the tribe of Benjamin, were thirty and five thousand and four hundred (35,400). These were those who were numbered at this specific time. How many millions had the gift of life because of Rachel we do not know. In this scripture we see another of Rachel's desendants: Phil. 3:5 Circumcised the eighth day, of the stock of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, an Hebrew of the Hebrews; as touching the law, a Pharisee; Paul the Apostle, the man who above all others took the gospel to the known world and recorded nearly half of the New Testament was a descendant of Benjamin. We believe that Rachel rejoices in heaven each time a new soul joins the family of faith and never considers her death as a meaningless sacrifice.
Yes, childbirth may be hard on a body, but not everything hard or damaging is void of lasting value. Quite the opposite, sacrifice was considered a virtue unquestionably until about the 1960's in American society. We have seen the values of a free people turn dramatically from Altruistic (others first) to purely Narcissist (me first). When Jesus died for the sins of the world he epitomized what it means to be a servant and as we may recall he encouraged us to become servants, he said "the greatest among you shall be the servant of you all." Obviously he meant "the greatest" among you will be the most self-sacrificing.
In the following scriptures we see that God at the time of blessing Noah instructed him to be fruitful and multiply and replenish (fill to overflowing) the earth. We are aware of no instance where God has ever withdrawn this command. And we are confident that God is a great and mighty God and that "by Him all things consist."
Gen. 9:1 And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be
fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.
It is not our hope to convince you to see life from our perspective but to let you know that we are not just ignorant hillbillies. We are real people with real feelings and with genuine convictions. Before you criticize or insult us we just ask you to understand that we are far from perfect and that we are only trying to be obedient to that which God has asked of us.
Not everyone who reads this has made rude and insensitive jokes or comments to us and we don't mean to imply that you have. We just ask you to consider that what we are doing is a result of prayer, study, and desire to obey our God.
Darrell, Connie, Jennifer, Philip, Nathan, Rachel, Caleb, Elizabeth, Laura, Abigail, Oliver & Lincoln
Special Thanks to:
Robert and Nellie Neet, Bill and Emma Shuck
Eldred and Norma Neet,
Joseph and Hazel Gorseth, Walter and Vera Hough
Cliff and Lucile Gorseth, and Marla Gorseth
Willis and May Tingle, Thomas and Blanche Mayes
Raymond and Helen Tingle
And especially to "Our Father in Heaven"
Used by permission of author, Darrell D. Neet
oughtobe@coinet.com
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