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Well, we visited another midwife today. We were hoping that, since we liked the first one so much, we would not like this one very much so our choice would be easy! But we liked this one, too! She answered my questions very well and sounded very competent and nice, but we just didn't get that feeling of "this is the one." My husband and I talked about it, and we decided to go with the first midwife for the following reasons (I'll call the midwife we have chosen "Sue")...
I've felt extra tired lately... really tired. Also, my nipples are still sore, but not terribly bad, and I have to go to the bathroom often. Fun, fun, fun! :-) Really, I like being pregnant! We were told today that we will be able to hear the baby's heartbeat on the 20th of May. I can't wait! That will be fun.
Although with my last pregnancy, I think I already had an ultrasound by this time, I'm not concerned about not having had a check up yet. Here in Tacoma, WA, you can get in almost immediately to see an OB/GYN, but in some places (Twin Falls, ID, for instance) it takes almost a month to get into see the doctor. So I'm guessing there is no rush... not to mention the fact that I probably don't even really *need* a check up. Pregnancy and childbirth, after all, are natural processes. But I am very much looking forward to talking again with our midwife!!
This time we are going to try to avoid unnecessary interventions, so there will be no ultrasound for us this time! :( I loved having one done with my last pregnancy... it was neat to see the heartbeat. I even got a picture to take home. :) But I am not convinced of it's safety, so no ultrasound. I need to ask my midwife if she uses a doppler or a fetoscope to check the baby's heart. Maybe I could let her use the doppler once so we all can hear the heart beat, and then maybe she'll use a fetoscope? I don't know. I hope she will use a fetoscope... the other midwife we interviewed said she uses a doppler, so Sue may use one, too. We'll find out soon enough! :)
I can't believe how blessed we are to live in a state (Washington State) where having a licensed midwife attend a homebirth is legal and even covered by medical insurance. I can't understand why homebirths attended by midwives are illegal in some states. That's crazy.
Well, I feel slightly nauseous almost all the time, but nothing very bad at all... it's more annoying than anything else. I have to try to eat more often. I really feel icky when I don't eat often enough; I get incredibly crabby. My nipples are still sore, but it's not unbearable. Oh, here is a symptom I didn't mention yet... my breasts get tingly kind of often. It feels rather weird. I still get really, really tired.
Ellen (almost 2 1/2) acts likes a baby sometimes... she smiles and is happy when she does it, so apparently she's not upset. I'm certain, though, it must be because we talk about baby in mamma's tummy. She makes little baby sounds and "insists" on being picked up. There was another time when she laid on the ground and made baby sounds. I wonder how many children do this??? Maybe I need to give her more attention.
I was able to make an appointment with the midwife, though, so that is kind of nice. I am going to see her on June 5th. Wow. That's over two weeks away. Oh, well.
I don't feel very nauseous any more! Yayh!! But I still have to make sure I eat often enough. Today I went too long without eating and my face got sweaty, and I felt really weak. Plus, when I get hungry, I feel *really* hungry! I'm still tired and my breasts still tingle sometimes. Also, my nipples are still sore. :( I feel so bad because sometimes I really do not want to nurse because of how they feel. Hopefully they will get better soon!!!!!
Someone commented to me that they thought I was brave for wanting to have a homebirth. I just want to mention that I feel that it is the safest option for my baby and me. That is why I am choosing it. I had a pretty good experience in the hospital with my first baby (at least I thought I did back then), so I don't exactly hate hospitals, but I know that having a baby at home will be so much safer.
For instance, the baby and I will be used to the germs at home and won't be exposed to any horrible hospital germs. I will be more relaxed while I labor, thus making the labor less stressful for me and my baby. The labor will be allowed to progress naturally and there will be no rush to get it over with. I will not be made to push when my body does not tell me it is time. I will be not be told to hold my breath and push. I believe that I am much less likely to lose a lot of blood at home. I lost a lot of blood with my first child, but I think it may have been because the doctor probably pulled the placenta out of me. My midwife will let it birth naturally and will let me nurse my baby immediately after birth (if baby wants to)... this will encourage my uterus to contract and help expel the placenta and slow the blood, and also, if necessary, my midwife will have natural ways to help me stop losing so much blood. I can have the environment I want... I would love give birth in the candlelight. There will be no glaring lights for my baby, no unnecessary suctioning of my baby's mouth, no needle pricks. She/he will be surrounded by love and gentleness for the moment of birth. I will be able to have my baby with me immediately and no one will be able to take my baby away from me. She will be cuddled next to me and not in a horrible bassinet. Those are some of the reasons I am choosing a homebirth.
My nipples are still sore, but I'm starting to get used to it in a way. . . . It doesn't bother me so much when Ellen nurses. I am pretty much over feeling nauseous anymore, but I get ravenously hungry sometimes. Also, sometimes when I feel hungry, no matter what I eat the hungry feeling is still there.
Before I got pregnant, I don't remember dreaming very much. Now I am having really bizarre dreams that make no sense. I was happy to read recently that this is normal in pregnant moms. :-)
I bought a neat book called "The Secret Life of the Unborn Child." It talks about how babies in the womb are aware and how important it is for the mom to make the baby feel loved and wanted.
I've told Ellen that the baby in my tummy will get bigger and bigger and then come out "down there." Then the baby will want to nur-nur (our word for breastfeeding), too. The other day I knew Ellen was thinking about what I had told her because she said to me, "Bigger and bigger and bigger. . . . My nur-nur. My mama." I'm sure it's very hard for her to understand sharing her nur-nur and her mama. But I am glad that she is 2 1/2 (and not any younger). Since I am a stay at home mom and we don't use baby sitters, Ellen is with me most of the time. I bet the baby might recognize her voice! I know she will be a good sister. I bet they will be good friends.
It still seems so unreal to me that I am pregnant. I suppose this is partly because I haven't had a check up yet. I am still planning on going to my first one on the fifth of June. I called my doctor (the one who was my doctor thoughout my pregnancy with Ellen and also has given me my yearly check ups for a couple years) last week and asked him if he would refer me to my midwife, but he wouldn't. He explained that he doesn't do that... something about his insurance being partly liable if anything went wrong. He said that he could understand why I wanted a homebirth, but he has reservations about homebirths. He said he would be glad to be my doctor! I really liked having him the first time, but I can't imagine having him as my doctor this time! We have very different philosophies about birth now!
So my midwife is applying to be a preferred provider though my insurance company. Hopefully that works out!
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