We want to warmly welcome you to the home page of the RYO Corporation based in
Cowchip/AL but with contacts and contracts world wide.
The RYO Corporation was established in the tiny town of Cowchip/AL in 1986 to fill a void in
corporate excellence. It has certainly lived up to its pledge and promise.
Beginning with the RYO Lodge, a famous hunting and rest facility, the RYO Corporation quickly
diversified into a giant world-wide conglomerate with many divisions.
The RYO Lodge was a 2200 acre facility offering guided hunting and fishing, as well as a world
class enema spa and pizzeria. Norm's Famous All You Can Eat No Crap Chitlin Pizza was a
traditional favorite among the guests, which were mostly out of town yankees. Eventually, the
Lodge was sold to Mormon interests which did not understand or appreciate the day to day
operation of the Lodge and it fell into disuse and decay. Late in 1989 the government surplus
nuclear reactor threw a rod and melted down, officially ending the Lodge forever. The RYO
Corporation is presently thinking of buying back the property to use as a high energy research
facility on the effects of nuclear radiation on whitetail deer.
As you can see in Figure 1, the RYO Towers eclipse the quaint old buildings in downtown
Cowchip/AL. Our revenue stream is in the billions and we are second only to Archer-Daniel-Midland in government subsidies. Through the tireless and unceasing efforts of our many divisions
we are well respected players in the world economy. As they say: So goes RYO, so goes the nation!
Foremost in our arsenal of freedom is our oldest Division, the ***Norm's Three Virgins
operation and vineyards located just outside of town. We provide the
world's best known and best loved line of Scuppernong wines. It is delicious. Drink it daily, and
generously for health and vitality sake. We are proud to make this healthful drink available to the
general publik at a modest cost.
We provide consultant services on political strategies in our Political Services Division. Some of our
top customers have been Richard Nixon, Rek Johansen, Bolivar Petullis, Fidel Castro, and Bill
Clinton. Many other rich and powerful people have also come to us when their chips were down,
including U.S. congressmen, senators, one sultan, a secret, mega-rich presidential candidate, (Who
lost by the way because he failed to heed our advice) and many other lesser politicians.
We love to tell our visitors which include everyone from Boy Scouts to powerful and popular
political leaders and billionaires that we don't make the rubber condoms, snuff boxes, candy
wrappers, or edible underwear, but we do make them better! You don't need to be aware that we
provide so many of the indispensable produks necessary to enhance the ancillary manufacture of
everything from peanut butter to "O" rings, but we still like to tell you anyway.
Space Based Assets:
The picture in Figure 1 was given to us as a gift by a secret government agency with whom we
furnished an ultra-secret satellite which orbits the globe in a circumpolar, elliptical orbit at
roughly 180 by 320 nautical miles every two hours or so. The picture was taken with a camera we
developed with a famous German optical company, and it is a composite taken in the infrared
spectrum. If you look very closely you can see a man standing on top of the RYO Towers looking at
his wrist watch. It is 3PM in the afternoon. Also, because of our extensive weather reporting and
tracking capabilities, NASA hesitates to launch without our approval.
We also do television production, conduk alcohol addiction studies, (To better introduce more
people to our delicious wine produk), perform time checks on the National Atomic Clock, and
provide a rock steady resource for morality in these times of uncertainty. Also, we are known
around the world for our art collection.