Can you imagine that this whole mess called my life started out with such a cute child. I can't even phathom that.
Hello and welcome to the start of my new life. I am hoping to change me into something that I can be proud of.
I am hoping to make some pretty big changes in my life. To start with I am wanting to loose the rest of this weight. I would like to be able to have people say that I look pretty for a change and mean it. I just hope that I am doing something right. I need to feel like people actually like me for me and not for what I can give them. I also need to feel that I am good enough for people to like. I have successfully lost about forty pounds and would like to loose about another sixty. I am going to do it. By the time I am done I am going to be nice looking no matter what.
I am going to become more diligent in getting things done. I want to finish everything that I start from now on. I don't ever want to feel like a failer ever again. I now know that I can do anything I put my mind to. Just a matter of hard work and a lot of time for this one to work.
I have started riding Glenn's bike and by the end of summer I hope that this will have helped me along the way. I want to be more active and be able to me more mobile in the near future. I know that I can do way more than I have done in the past and I am going to get going and get it done.
I have started to dress better as I hope that this will make me feel better. I have some nice new outfits in velvet and I really do think that I might look okay in them. I also own my first pair of jeans in over 14 years. I bought them just over a month ago and now they are a little to large for me. I now also own four dresses. I love to wear them when I am off and even sometimes to work.
Well I hope that the changes to me from the time when Ken walked out on me to now are for the better. I sometimes question my thoughts and actions and why anyone would want to have something to do with me but it seems like there are people who out there that can and really do care about me and what happens to me. It is nice to be feeling this way finally in my life. I feel better just knowing that my friends are there to support the decissions I make and tell me if I am heading in the right directions as far as my thoughts and life are going.
I also have learned to respect the fact that they will tell me if I am heading into something that I could get hurt in. I am not open to hurt anymore. I am going to start to think about me once in a while.
I have been doing a lot of work on my crafts and trying to see how much I can accomplish for the children and my the clubs I belong to. My daughter is now expecting my second grandchild and boy am I looking forward to that one. Glenda seems to think that I will get my grandson now. I will be very happy no matter whether the baby is a boy or a girl. I am trying to get as many things made for the baby as possible. I would like to get some sleepers, nighties, rompers and outfits made that can go either way as well as sweater sets. I am not to sure but I think I will also end up making a blanket for the baby before it arrives. I am not to sure what color to go with however. Probably more white. I am just taking my time though. I have til what appears the middle of summer to finish these things. I am going to just one day have to get out the old sewing machine and start again. It doesn't take to long to make a small outfit. I may be be able to make one or two outfits a day. Now to just get mobile and actually do it instead of talk about it. I am going to have to do it soon as I have been slacking off.