This page is dedicated in loving memory of Frank Mc Caig who passed away November 12th, 1999. He was a great man loved by family and friends the world over who kept his spirit throughout his illness, he is sorely missed.

It is with the permission of his dear wife, Margaret, and his family, that his page will remain online for all to enjoy.

May he rest in peace.

Francie's Scottish Humour


I was born in Whiteinch Glasgow in 1930 to my parents Charlie and Mary Mc Caig. I served an apprenticeship in Fawkes and Sorbies, also a Whiteinch company. During this time I met my wife to be, Margaret Tedford, also born in Whiteinch.

In the year of 1951 I was conscripted to the RAF, and was sent overseas to Egypt, in 1O9 M.U. RAF Abyad. Came home to my old job then moved to Rolls Royce, in Hillington. From here I was transfered to Rolls Royce in Hamilton.

As life moved on I emigrated to USA, in 1965. This did not work out too well, as I became very ill shortly after. Returning home, I got a job with RR in East Kilbride where I lived for 3 years.

In 1968 I decided to try USA again, this time with my wife and 3 children. As you can see I have been here for 3O years and never looked back.

We have been home on holiday several times and we enjoy roaming around the country of our birth. As a matter of fact we have seen more of Scotland, than we had ever seen when we lived there.

I still huv ma Gleswegian accent an' ah wull never gie it up. I find that people over here are fascinated by it. They cannie unnerstaun haulf o' whit ah'm talkin' aboot. Well ah've gote by a' these years an' ah'm stll gaun. Naeborra.

Drop me a line an' I'll get back tae yese when ever ah' can.

Well now you know know a wee bit about yours truly, so sit yirsel doon, pit yir feet up, and enjoy a wee taste o' Glesga humour. Oh and if ye huv ony bother understauning jist give me a shout an ah'll be gled tae translate fur ye.

A wee wummin in Glesga, came oot ae a butchers shoap, n' says tae hur pal, look Mima, ah' gote a pun a mince fur ma man!! An the weeyin says "By jings, you gote a bargain!!!

The same wee wumman went intae annurra butchers, an says tae ri' guy, Huv ye gote a sheeps heid??? an ri' butcher says, Naw, it's jist ri' wey ah' part ma herr!!!

A herse was goin' down a very steep hill in Glasgow, an' a small girl ran in front of it. The driver slammed on the brakes, an the coffin in the rear broke loose, an' went doon the hill aboot 40 MPH. riht acroass a main road, smashed thro' a chemist shoap windae, an' the lid flew aff, an the corpse sat up an says, "Huv ye ay'hin' tae stoap this coffin???

A wee Glesga hardman wis up fur senticin' an' ri' judge says 6 months!!
Ach, says ri' wee yin, ah'kin dae 'at stonnin oan ma heid!!!
5 Years,says ri' judge,
"Whut fur, ri' wee yin says,
an ri' judge says "At'll gie ye time tae get back oan yur feet!!!

A polis mottur was gaun doon ri' Kilmarnock road aboot 35 miles an oor, an a joker passed um oan ri' ootside dae'n aboot 40, an this guy wis runnin'!! Ri' polis couldnae believe 'es eyes, an' gote efter um. Right up ower ri' hill ri' guy goes an dissapears. When ri' polis finally catches up wi' um, he's lyin' at ri' side ae ri' road a' bleedin'. Ri' polis says tae um. Whut happint?? an' ri guy says Ah' gote a laoot, oan ma sanshoes!!!

This wummin wis gaun doon the renfrew road, an' stoaped at ri' side ae ri' road, an' picked up a microwave oven an' took off. Two minits later ri polis pult her ower, an says OK missus, gonnae gie us back wur radar speedin' device!!!

A man in Glesga, gote oan a taxi, an afore ri' driver took aff, he says tae ri' guy, 'at'll be 35 shullins,! "Whut fur", he says. The driver says "ah' know where yur gaun!!" An the guy says ok, where ah'm a gaun?? anri'driver says tae the western infirmary,!! 'How dae ye know 'at?? he says.An' ri driver says "Y'uve still goat ri' hatchet stuck in yur heid!!!

Thank you for visiting my page :)

Cheerio fur noo

The Skye Boat Song

The tartan used as the background to this page is Farquharson

You are visitor to my page since it was created on 7/3/98

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