APRIL 28, 1994

It was 12:30pm on Thursday, April 28, 1994, when our lives came to a crashing halt. I was at work and received a call from my husband, John, who told me I needed to come home right now. I questioned him as to why, and he said, quite frankly, "It’s Matt." I sensed something horribly wrong in John’s voice. I started to panic and questioned him further. What was it that was so wrong with Matthew that required me to leave work? When I asked, he said, "He died."

No words can describe the horror I felt at that moment. I recall screaming, and then handing the phone over to my co-worker and seeing many people around my desk. I felt as though someone had just punched me in the stomach as hard as they could.

My boss drove me to the daycare, where Matt was at the time of his death. It was the longest ½ hour drive of my life. I recall being furious with her for not going through a red light. I really don’t think we would have been given a ticket. When we pulled in to the parking lot at the daycare, I knew it was true. The ambulance and police cars put an end to the thoughts I had had in the car. In my mind, I thought (and hoped and prayed) that there was at least a possibility that everything would be ok.

We were able to hold Matthew in an upstairs room at the daycare center for a few hours after he was declared dead. There were medical examiners, police, investigators, clergy and the daycare workers all trying to talk to us and figure out what happened. Matthew was put down for a nap at around 12:15, and when he was checked on at 12:30, he was dead. After a thorough investigation and an autopsy, Matthew’s death was found to be the result of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Without the support of our family, friends and faith, we would never have survived this nightmare. Two wonderful organizations also provided us with much needed support. They were The Pregnancy and Infant Loss Center, located in Wayzata, Minnesota, and the Minnesota Sudden Infant Death Center in Minneapolis, Minnesota.