Moma_Dee’s Story of Adoption
For those of you that don't know my story, my bio Mom was 16, and bio Dad was 17 when they had me. They got married, and 2 years later along came my brother. Well, needless to say the marriage didn't work. My bio Mom struggled to keep us but couldn't feed the three of us. My bio Dad was getting remarried to another woman that was bearing his child. She had agreed to take us in, but after saying, "I DO" she changed her mind. Well, that marriage didn't last either. My brother and I were placed up for adoption. I was 4 and my brother was 2. We went through hell in those foster homes for 2 years. (I will spare you the details) At the age of 6 and 4, a wonderful couple (who had lost their son & daughter) came looking for a son. When they saw the two of us we were playing in the sand, I was holding my brother’s hand. My Mom told the social worker that she wanted "that blonde haired boy" the worker said no you can't, Mom asked “why not?” The social worker said, “you are looking for a son and that boy has a sister, the one holding his hand, and the court has ordered that they remain together”, well, that was it. Mom looked at Dad and said, "if I can't have those kids, I don't want any". We finally had a Mom and Dad to love us. We grew up in a very loving home, not rich, but we were well provided for. We grew up knowing we were adopted, and Mom always told us the day would come when our curiosity would get the better of us, and although she didn't know anything, she would help us in whatever way possible to find our bio parents.
Mom always told us, that our parents must have had a very good reason for giving up two beautiful children, and that it was probably the hardest thing they ever had to do, but that they had done it for us, for a better life for us. Mom was right. When I was 18, I became pregnant myself, and got married. The marriage lasted 15 years, and we had 2 beautiful children. When I was 20, I found an article in the paper. Someone was looking for my brother and me. I responded to the article, and filled in a few pieces of missing information and included my phone number. Within a week of reading the article, I was standing at the airport looking for a woman wearing a yellow rose. A beautiful blonde woman came through the doors, and I didn’t even notice the rose, but I knew it was my bio-mom. I was looking into a mirror, (only 16 years older) we spent 3 wonderful days catching up. During those 3 days, we went to see my Mom & Dad, it was kinda tense at first, but my Mom is such an angel. She looked at my bio-mom and said, “I can see now where Dee gets her beautiful looks.” She then hugged my bio-mom and said, “I know what you did was the hardest thing you ever had to do, and my husband and I want to thank you.” My bio-Mom looked at Mom and said, “My prayers were answered, I have prayed that these 2 kids were raised by decent people, and I see that they have been, and I thank you.” It was very emotional. A week later, my bio-Dad and his present wife of 25 years came to visit us too. We did the same routine with Mom and Dad, and things again went very smoothly. With my bio-mom and my bio-dad, I did let them know that although they brought me into this world, my MOM AND DAD were the people that loved us, that raised us, that taught us right from wrong. I also told them that I was so very grateful to have finally met them and that I hoped we could have a wonderful relationship.
Well, that was almost 17 years ago. So much has happened since our first meetings. I have met 2 half-brothers, a stepbrother and a stepsister, as well as grandparents on both sides, aunts uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, godparents, etc. etc. etc. I lost my bio-mother almost 7 years ago to an auto accident as she was heading home after a 3-day visit with me for my 30th birthday. I also lost both sets of grandparents shortly after my bio-mother passed away, and my stepsister died very tragically 3 years ago as well.
On every long weekend in May, I join my bio-father, his wife, and all of their family at a memorial park that is in honor of my stepsister for a memorial BBQ. Every long weekend in August, I join my bio-father and his family for a reunion at the Elora Gorge for a weekend of fun, love, and laughter. My Mom and Dad are very supportive of all of this, and always send their love to my bio family. AND whenever my bio family comes to visit me, Mom and Dad ask that they can come for a visit to see them as well.
Maybe my story is weird to some of you. I look at it like I am truly blessed. I joke that I don’t have a family tree, I have a lush family forest…LOL…..more people to love me, and more people to love. And you know, being a mother myself (and having lost a child at birth and knowing that feeling of loss) I know how truly hard it must have been for my bio-parents to do what they did. I love them for loving me so much that they wanted more than they could provide for me, and giving me the opportunity at a better life. I grew up feeling special because “I WAS CHOSEN” out of all of those children. I am truly grateful for the life that I have had.
I have a heart-wrenching story about my bio-grandfather that I will share with you as soon as I get the chance to type it up. Who knows, maybe later today…. maybe tomorrow….