Problems

Once, a woman decided to throw a problem-exchange party. As guests arrived, they shed all their personal problems and tossed them onto a pile with everyone else's. After all had discussed their own problems for others to hear, the party ended with guests selecting from the problem pile, those they wished to carry away. Each person left with the same troubles he or she had brought to the party.

We who worry a great deal about our problems are always sure no one else has troubles as bad as ours. Too often, we complain, "If you had my problems, you'd really hurt." Our problems are tailored to us, and geared to help us learn by solving them. No one else's would be quite right. When we cope with problems, rather than wailing about them, we discover that our own are minor irritations compared to those we see in others.

Into each life some rain must fall. Some days must be dark and dreary.

-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Coping with problems and weathering troubled times is part of life. Those of us who have survived painful experiences have a duty to help younger ones prepare to face bad times by sharing the solutions we found. When stormy weather comes, we need to feel we are like other people. It's not that misery loves company, but that we don't want to feel we're in this alone. We will never have perfect living conditions. The only place where every day is a sunny one is in the desert. When pain comes, we can walk through our problems and settle things quickly, rather than prolonging the hurt by battling our way around the obstacles in an effort to avoid them.

The important thing in life is to know what matters for us. Our reality and values are our own; no one else can dictate them to us. They come out of our experiences and observation, and our spiritual health asks that we be true to them. Similarly, we must be true to what matters for us. We won't try to win anyone over. Nor will we let someone else sway us. We will respect each other's reality, for that's how we will live in peace. Further, if we're open and frank with each other, and with everyone else, we can spread integrity, respect, and peace. Quakers have a saying, "Let it begin with me." Integrity will spread outward, in concentric rings, for we are connected with one another. Strength and growth come from knowing ourselves, knowing what matters for us. If we respect each other, we will find the way to fit any apparent conflict into a broader system that can accommodate us both.


Doubt sees the obstacles - Faith sees the way.
Doubt sees the blackest night - Faith sees the day;
Doubt dreads to take a step - Faith soars on high;
Doubt questions," Who believes?" - Faith answers, " I. "
                --Source unknown

Sin will take you farther than you intended to go.
It will keep you longer than you intended to stay.

And it will cost you more than you ever intended to pay.

Last Updated by Virginia Young on Thursday, 27 February, 2003 at 9:26 PM.

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