I would like to share a few more of my interests with you, as well as some background
on myself. I was born and raised in a small town on the Illinois/Wisconsin borderline.
I'm the typical "smalltown" gal, who attended local schools, and enjoyed a good family
upbringing. Of course life is never all sugary sweet, and there have been some "learning
experiences" that have tried and tested me. I like to think I have a level headed outlook
on life. I see the reality of the human existance, but I still stop to smell the roses!
As you probably have deducted by my other pages here, I have had a Christian upbringing,
and my life is influenced by that, and my family, as well as life experiences.
I would sum myself up as the "creative" type. I have always enjoyed needlework and
other handcrafts,from candlemaking to plastercraft. Over the years I have tried most every
craft I could, just for the experience of being creative in a new way. I credit my grandmother
for getting me started with my interest in needlework. She was the one who taught me to embroider
as a little girl.
I also have a "green thumb" as you will see on my Garden Page. I began this activity as a
teenager, and have had a garden almost every year since. Once again, my interest was stimulated
by family members. I feel it is a testimony to parents, give your child wholesome passtimes, and
they'll continue to persue them. Gardening is like "therapy" for me. As I tend the plants, I am
almost always in mental contemplation. It is a chance to get away from the house, with all it's
electrical mind-grabbers such the TV, the computer, or the telephone.
Another interest that was started as a child is music. I began in the school band in fifth grade.
It was the begining of a self discovery, that although I wasn't exceptionally talented at performing,
music was very special to me. It is another form of self-expression and a place to "feel" emotion.
I am sure those who are also musical will understand what I am saying. It's another form of "theraputic"
balm. I am self-taught on the keyboard, and regard this as a long desired goal reached. I enjoy a wide
range of music for my listening pleasure, but play mostly Christian music myself.
I began the hobby of having penpals as a teen also, and over the years when postage was still affordable
I enjoyed having contact with many friends of all ages through the postal service. And it was a good way to
learn to enjoy self-expression via the pen and paper media. Yes, I found another outlet for my creativity
through the written word. I have enjoyed this, then, and now, again in the new e-mail mode! Friends are truelly
a treasure. For the years between penpals and e-mail, I enjoyed communicating with others via the Citizens Band
Radio. This has been another enduring avenue of being in contact with people for me.
My husband and I were studying for our HAM Radio license when we purchased our computer.
Being online in cyberspace has created a detour, but I am sure we will do that too, someday.
My interest in pets began early also. Poodles are my "special" pals, since I have raised
six of them. I enjoy being able to share the affection and companionship they lavish on me.
I have also had other small pets, such as aquarium fish, parakeets, and I even raised ginea
pigs to sell to pet stores, at one time. We have outdoor birdfeeders,also. The beauty and
variety of feathered visitors to our yard is entertaining. We are located on a busy highway
in a semi rural area, and have seen many animals despite this in our neighborhood. There was
a wild turkey last year, in the field behind our home. Just yesterday, a fawn was wandering
in the field across the street. It was the first time I have ever seen a deer here.
I have done a lot of reading along the topic of health & nutrition. As well as being
trained in First Aid and CPR. Many years ago I was an instructer for the Red Cross.
I am also interested in health topics concerning dogs. Psychology, and Family relationships
are also topics I enjoy as well as the spiritual side of life.
If you were to meet me in the waiting room at the doctor's office, or shopping in the grocery store, I'd smile and say hello, for I am a person who looks at you with genuine interest. I also feel great affection for my family and look forward to the times when we can be together. The last two years have brought four new babies into our midst, two of which are our first set of twins! My parents see to it that we all gather together every two weeks for Sunday dinner, and this is a joyful time for me, since I have no biological children. I enjoy the baby smiles and toddler hugs and kisses so very much.
I would like to pay tribute to my parents, who have shared over 57 years of marriage, and have always given perfect witness to what "good parents" are. They have shown a wealth of support and love, in all they do. They have been steadfast in their love for each other and their children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Their unconditional love for all of us has been amazing. And now that they are in their late years, and their health has diminished, they still continue to carry on heroically.
My mother is in constant pain from arthritis, and has trouble walking, yet she carries on, lovingly. And my father has never faltered even though he has learned that he has an aortic anuerysm that can prove fatal at any time. He still goes about his daily activities with fortitude and humor, not once stopping to feel sorry for himself. He has been very active since his retirement, continuing to be useful to others and perform acts of service to others daily.
The thought of losing either of them generates a deep ache in my heart. I had not realized how much my own identity is tied to them until recently. Aging is a real "trip," as we children of the 60's would say. We take so much for granted when we are young, paying little heed to times passage. But having crossed the milestone of age 50, I am now keenly aware of it. How could I be this old, so soon? There is still so much to do, so much to experience. My encounter with breast cancer five yars ago started me on this "new awareness" voyage. Everything and everyone are so much more precious, and yet seem so much more fleeting.
I would like to be able to "hold on" to all things dear for all eternity. Just memories of these seems so inadequate. Yet,
I am grateful for all things good and loving in my life. We shall always see hatred and cruelty around us, and we sometimes must wear protective armour, in order to survive. But beneath each layer of protectection a person wears, beats a heart that needs love and kindess. And for those who have loved and been loved, unconditionally, there has been implanted a special "jewel" within.
During times of distress and loss, one can travel inward to this "jewel" to see that life has many facets. When darkness surrounds us, when no one is near to give us support, we have a
treasure hidden inside our hearts. I wish this "gift" to be possessed by all. For, how could we be cruel to others, if we were aware of this jewel within? And how could we crush one another's heart, if we realized that in destroying their treasure we will also lose our own? Casting it away from us by our acts of anger and dishonesty.
Take a look inside your heart. Do you possess a pure clear diamond? Or is there a red ruby, coloured by love? You may find a purple amethyst, royal and courageous. Is there a green emerald signifying a productive life? Are there several jewels within, and more being discovered with each year you live. If you look and find nothing, there is still time to create these jewels by acts of kindness, service, and love, or by enduring suffering with courage and faith.
If you are telling yourself, this sounds way too idealistic. This woman sounds as if she has never had it hard, or known disappointment. You are wrong, I have had many disappointments, heartaches, and failures. I am not rich in money, or well established in a career, nor have I a college degree. I have not
found perfect joy, nor am I extremely talented. Yet, I have the "treasure" of knowing I have done my best, no matter how that compares to others' "best." All each of us can do is just that, our own individual best. And remember to be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself for your shortcommings and work on improving them at your own speed.
With that in mind, you will learn to find joy in all of your accomplishments. Say hello to an elderly person, who looks lonely, and see how their smile repays your heart. Plant a seed and watch it grow to a lovely flower, beautiful to view and pleasant to smell. Express yourself in a poem, written for your heart to feel comfort or release. Bake cookies for a child who thinks they only come from a grocery store, in a box. Or teach that child to collect "heart jewels" by not throwing rocks at the neighbors' dog, who barks too much. Look around you, there is a great need, for many hearts are "poor" in their treasure hold.
When life appears too painful and overwhelming, we sometimes "shutdown" in order to survive. But know that you can always re-emerge and start again. And even though you thought you were doing nothing during that time, you were. You were growing, and gathering and waiting. Maybe your heart was healing, or your mind was regrouping it's thoughts? You may find yourself back at the "beginning" needing to start over, or you may be way ahead of the "race." These experiences all have a way of teaching us some useful lesson. And you don't always need to "pretend" you are strong, or happy. The rainbow is made of several colors, and life is made of many feelings.
Last night it was cold, this morning there was a frost, today the sun is shinning and it is warming up into the 60's. All things seem to fluctuate. Be grateful for a blanket to keep you
warm, or a cool drink to quench your thirst. There are those who do not have these things. Yet they are rich in their courage to live on. I speak to myself, as a personal reminder, as well as to you. As we struggle toward our goals, we need to keep in mind
how well we have really done. Some are born and never leave the infancy of their beginnings, either mentally or physically. They remain stuck in time, yet pure and childlike.
We strive and achieve, or fail and lose. But we are alive! We are able to do something. Let it be something "good," no matter what capacity it falls within. And as age starts to limit you,
let yourself wander into the treasure room of your heart. You will find there more things of wonder than in granny's attic. Let yourself visit this place often. Come away grateful, full of some memory or feeling. Each time you go there, I hope you will find something new and pleasing.
Let your life teach you who you are, and let each lesson give you the tools to be who you want to be. And while you are opening doorways, or searching for the keys, be your own best friend. Friends are a wonderful thing, but the only friend who is always there, is yourself. Negative experiences have a way of crippling us. I, myself, was a victim of this, to some degree. I was a sensitive child, and could see my shortcomings even without having them mentioned to me by others. I wanted to be liked by everyone, I sought approval.
This approval seeking stays with a person, but doesn't have to remain a fault. It can turn into a more tempered inspiration to become creative in many ways. And inspire you to be a "giving" person, keeping in mind to give approval to yourself,also, it can be a good quality. You must also teach yourself to "accept" what others do for you, and show them your approval. I think a young approval seeker is so busy "looking" for it, they miss the "gift" when they get it, because they are so caught up in finding a new way to get more of it. Also, they forget to give their approval to others, not knowing that this brings rewards also.
Lest this should begin to sound like "The World According To Garp," I will go on to other things. But not until I give credit to my parents for always believing in me, despite my lack of worldly accomplishments. And for the value they have placed on me, as their child, no matter how I measured up to anyone elses child. They have always had expectant faith in me, as well as my siblings. They wait to share the joy or sorrow, with no pressure on us. They both are my inspiration, and I commend them.
To be continued.....