Powered by counter.bloke.com

A Pet's Prayer

by Beth Norman Harris

Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world

is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.

Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should like your hand

between the blows, your patience and understanding will more

quickly teach me the things you would have me do.

Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's sweetest music, as you must 

know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep falls upon

my waiting ear.

When it is cold and wet, please take me inside, for I am now a

domesticated animal, no longer used to the elements.

And I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your

feet beside the hearth.

Though, had you no home, I would rather follow

you through ice and snow than rest upon the softest 

pillow in the warmest home in all the land,

for your are my god and I am your devoted

worshipper.

Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for although I should not reproach

you were it dry, I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst.

Feed me clean food, that I may stay well, to romp and play

and do your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready,

willing and able to protect you with my life should your life

be in danger.

And, beloved master, should the great Master see fit to deprive me of my health,

or my sight, do not turn me away from you. Rather, hold me gently in

your arms as skilled hands grant me the merciful boon of eternal rest--

and I will leave you knowing with the last breath I drew, my fate was ever 

safest  in your hands.

Adorable sweet kitten

My Cat " Whiskers" as a baby

My other sweet feline critter "Casper" 

although a very curious and destructive

little guy.  I love them both dearly.

Cats do 
They rarely listen to you.
They are totally unpredictable.
When you want to play, they want to be alone.
When you want to be alone, they want to play.
They expect you to cater to their every whim.
They are moody.
They leave hair everywhere.
They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.

Conclusion: They are tiny women in fur coats. what they want.

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray this cushy life to keep.

I pray for toys that look like mice, And sofa cushions, soft and nice.

I pray for gourmet kitty snacks, And someone nice to scratch my back.

For windowsills all warm and bright, For shadows to explore at night.

I pray I'll always stay real cool And keep the secret feline rule.

To never tell a human that The world is really ruled by CATS.

" Thousand of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. 

Cats have never forgotten this."

Those who have cats---take notice.

CAT DIARY

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of
furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their
feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top
of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite
chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep
depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body,
in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to
strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about
what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan......
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good
reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it
included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick
minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece
of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices.

I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could
hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call
"beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was
due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how
to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has
got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue.
(something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly.
I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current
placement in the metal room his safety is
assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.

What Teenagers have in common with Cats

Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.

You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult

human being.  And it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her

right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents.

Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat nor

your teen will ever crack a smile.

No cat or teenager shares your taste in musk.

Cats and teenagers can lie on the living room sofa for hours on end

without moving, barely breathing.

Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone's furniture.

Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been known

to return in the middle of the night to deposit a dead animal in 

your bedroom.  Teenagers are not above that sort of behavior.

I hope that you enjoyed my page

Please e-mail me or sign my guestbook

You are listening to the "Aristocats" theme.

Web Page Design - Dixielinn©1999

All Rights Reserved

Last Updated 03/13/2004