her to you
for just awhile
To hold her close
and enjoy her smile
But she was special
oh so dear
He took her back
to have her near
The other angels understand
she was to good to walk this
She knows you love her
with all your heart
How hard it was
for you to part
And you will see her
Up in heaven
where angels reign
Be happy for the time you had
she'd want you smiling
and not so sad
Its the hardest thing
for you to do
But go on with her memory
to see you through
And know one day
you will again
Be with your baby
in God's great heaven
We Hold You In Our Hearts
Mom, Dad and Courtney
Missy is Moms
nickname for Casey
The above poem was written by
peachie, a friend from the irc
I miss you my little one. Today I relive the loss of you two years ago. I
remember things from that day...some a blur...other memories still so clear
like it was yesterday. I thought it would be alot easier this year...it is
some...but not like i had envisioned. For the last few weeks I've found myself searching out babies...babies everywhere....in car
seats...strollers.....in carriers....I look for them. Maybe I'm still searching for you...I
don't know. I'm anxious.....restless.....edgy...inside...like last year...but the "cut" of
it all isn't as deep. I can thank God that i have the good memories of you. I close my eyes and
can see you still .....in my arms...with bright blue eyes...a happy baby...and
oh so beautiful. You were such a gorgeous baby Casey. I'm thankful that i
have your sister Courtney, she is such a great kid.....and growing now into
a wonderful.....pretty young lady. I'm so proud of her....and lucky to have
her in my life to love. Today we are having a little gathering here at home in memory of you. Our family and friends will all be together to
honor your precious life no matter how short of a time you were with us. I
appreciate their love and unfailing support so much. Without them I couldn't
of survived. Casey I still hurt. still miss you. still ache for you at times. I know you
can feel my love no matter how far your soul is away from me. Heaven can't
even stop it. I cherish the memory of you. the good times....much more so
than the remembrance of St. Patty's day two years ago when you had to go
away from me. Time will not diminish my love for you....nor will it take away my
precious memories of your life when I held you in my arms. God i miss you
I'll love you for always my sweet Casey.
Hugs and Kisses
A butterfly flutters by beautiful and free
Sharing it's splendor where ever it may be
My eyes enjoy the pleasure
Of God's most fleeting treasure
I care not now to chase it's flight
My world today not very bright
A mournful tear falls from my eye
A friend has had to say good-bye
to her most precious Butterfly
I can not think, I can not say
The utter grief stands in the way
I look to the Heavens for understanding
What purpose can there be?
To bring into this world such love and joy
only to take her back to thee?
Again I see a butterfly beautiful and free
You left so
quickly, Little One. I didnít get a time to say goodbye.
I've missed you in the last eight months. You were here for such
a short while. I still have some hugs and kisses for you, and I wasn't
done holding you. I wanted to give you more baths. And I would've liked
to have been with you when you picked your first flower for Mommy or the
first time you held your sisters' hand to cross the street. So many
places, so many things we will miss with you.
I was angry
when you first went away. I felt as you had been jerked away from me. I
didnít like you leaving. But Casey how could I not want you where you
are today. Why, you're with the One who loves all the little ones. You
have the most beautiful flowers, trees and greenest grass.
know about the bumps and bruises here on earth. And when you need a hug
and held for a little while You just climb up in His lap and He'll rock
you ....just you. See, your Grand Ma knows Jesus has a rocker. Someone
So, Little One
someday I'll see you, Iíll reach out to you and give you all the hugs
and kisses that are yours.
Love You Casey,
Tonight my heart is so heavy;
It hasnít got any easier.
The load no lighter;
The pain still there.
My thoughts turn to the night November 16th 1997
So hard to see you in pain of child bearing labor.
Wish I could take the pain unto myself.
But the pain you feel today is much greater I think;
I can't bear it for you Toni;
Wish I could but you see,
I have my own to bear.
You lost your baby girl
I lost my youngest Grand child.
We never know all the answers
And could we bear it if we did?
God in His knowing ways; He knows whatís best for all.
The past year has been a storm to you;
Some times the winds and waves so high,
They drown out all reasoning.
But the Old Lighthouse
Still shines His Light around you
That Light will guide you into port.
When the night is so dark;
Just look for the Light;
It will guide you safely in from the storms.
Everything will be all right
It may be rough getting there,
But you'll be ok.
May God touch and heal our broken hearts.
Love you Toni,
Friday it will be the second anniversary of you losing Casey. In
the year and I have that I have gotten to know you I realize the
best thing I can do is to support you in anyway I can. I
understand how hard it has been for you to lose your daughter. I
also realize that no matter what that you will never forget about
Casey. She was, is and always will be a big part of your life and
who you are.
wish I had the opportunity to meet Casey. But unfortunately I will
not get that chance. I know that every time I look at her web page
it brings a tear to my eye. That is because I know how much that
your daughter means to you.
year you had asked me to come down for Caseyís memorial but
unfortunately because of work reasons I could not. This year
fortunately I will be able to be there for you to be able to
support you. Being in Columbus this weekend is very important to
me. I want to be
there for you so very much.
I am very proud of you. It takes a very strong person to come back
after losing a child the way you have. The last two years
unfortunately has been really tough on you. I want you to know
that I will always be here for you and that I donít ever expect
you to forget about Casey. She is very important to you. Please
remember that if you ever need someone, I am always here for you.
In Honor Of
Healing does come....in the quiet times....the quiet moments....the tears
shed in private ....the heartache that arises in little reminder
pains.....of the baby lost..... it is all movement towards mending of a
broken heart. The Healing makes a scar that will always be there. With time
the scar will fade some...but it will always be there. We are forever
changed within our soul for this horrible loss of the child we loved with
all of our being. Yet among this tragedy.....despite our heart that still
aches.....there is a strength...a courage.....to survive...to rise above
the pain...to make a difference ....living a life that honors the baby that
is now gone from our arms. An inner strength that we draw from.....because
we have been to hell and back and have survived. We are different ...forever
changed....but still standing...pressing forward......and with time we will really "live" again.
H is for the Healing..
O is for the precious little One we miss from our lives
P is for the passing of time....a natural healer
E is for everyone out there that has lost a baby to SIDS...YOU are not alone....
there is HOPE.
|This picture was drawn
|8 year old sister
Click on the picture to get a full view.
A poem for Casey, written by malea
Casey's Photo Album
Toni's Open Letter
To friends at #30+truth chat channel
on the irc undernet, and to
coworkers at Riverside Methodist
Hospital in Columbus Ohio
Easter Letter to Mom
following are letters written from Toni to Casey Nicole
Casey would have been
one year old
on Monday (11/16/98)
March 17, 1999 marks
the one year anniversary of Casey's Death
That it will never come
again, is what makes life so sweet.
Links to SIDS
Casey will live
on through the gift of life.
Casey's heart valves were donated so that someone else
Organ Donation and Transplantation
[Butterfly Poem] [God's Children Poem]
[Picture Album] [Mom's Open Letter] [Courtney's Letter]
Last updated Friday, March 17, 2000