Returns
Home! Testimony of
J & A
God is to be praised for his faithfulness! I've been hesitant to be too optimistic, but I believe you can finally add A and I to your list of reconciled marriages! PTL!!! I want to extend my deepest appreciation for your support and prayers. A and I both want to make this the best experience we've ever been through and learn from it so our marriage will be stronger than ever. We are aware of the danger of continuing in a destructive spiral, so we're taking whatever steps necessary (counseling, marriage tapes, prayer, etc.) to gain strength so we can stand during future attacks by satan.
I've seen the mighty hand of my Heavenly Father, daily paving the way to reconciliation. He has hidden me under his wing and whispered words of love and strength to my soul. He, with his loving grace, has exposed evil to the light so it cannot endure. Satan tried to convince us that he had control over us in certain areas of our lives, that there was no hope. But God reminded us that our baptism united us with Christ, so we can share in his victory over the bondage of sin and death. I stand on His promise and claim victory over the death of my marriage. We will survive!
For those of you that are still waiting, be encouraged. Seek God first. Let go of your hold on your spouse. Stand, but let go, and let God be Who He says He IS! No matter what happens, cling to Him for your strength. He will hold you up when you feel you cannot stand any longer. Ask God for more faith and let Him lift you up above the circumstances in your life. Say a prayer aloud and THANK Him for your circumstance, for when you do, you are putting the POWER back into His hands. God is in control, and since He's in control, then He has a purpose for what you are going through. And since He always works things out for the good for those that BELIEVE and love the Lord, then you have something to look forward to! So live in a spirit of thankfulness TODAY for what is PROMISED tomorrow!
A and I have been married for only 6 years. It was a second marriage for both of us. I guess we fall in line with statistics for second marriages. He began struggling with the old, "Oh my God, what have I done!" about two years ago. He tried to tell me then that our marriage was in trouble, but I remained in denial until about August when he told me again that he wanted a divorce, yet he didn't want a divorce. He was just so unhappy and confused. Another woman was in the picture (my best friend), but she was more fantasy than action. I'm so grateful he told me about her before it turned physical, but the mind is a powerful thing and hard to turn off!
I'm so grateful for you Standers. I love the idea of people reminding each other of the Biblical principals of life. It takes courage to stand on Biblical principals, for it is so foreign to the world. But it works!
From their first counseling session, together:
The counselor asked A what was different now that made him realize that he wanted to come home. To my surprise, A said it was the unconditional love I offered him. At one point, A thought he would never rise to the level I was spiritually (his words), nor did he really think he wanted to! But with that thought came the certainty that I could never love him as he was, so he just assumed he would lose me as soon as I found out we were on different spiritual paths. But I sent him message after message that my love for him was unconditional. And he saw me begin to relax (as God helped me). He began to believe what I told him was true. An enormous pressure was off his shoulders and he no longer felt like he had to resist me. As the need to resist left him, he began to be drawn to me again. Now inside, I was thinking, "This is the A I once knew. He was lost and now he's found." PTL PTL
I will be honest and tell you I struggled some during the counseling session. When A had opportunity to express himself, it became evident that, although he appreciated my unconditional love, he was not prepared to offer the same. I bit back words to bring that to his attention, then realized if I demand return treatment, I nullify my own gift of unconditional love. Then I thought of God's gift of grace. We respond to God's perfect gift of grace by living a righteous life, not that we can do anything to earn it (grace), but out of a grateful heart. I believe that my unconditional love for A will one day be returned -- by A. For now I have peace in my heart with the knowledge that my Heavenly Father will never put conditions on his love for me -- and that's good enough for me.
I want somehow to prepare those whose prodigals are close to coming home. When they do come home, it will be wonderful at first. Then your mind will start playing tricks on you and you will begin to think you DESERVE something or he/she OWES you something. Whether it's that you be HEARD or that he/she SUFFER as you did, but it WILL BE something. There seems to be a need for closure of some kind and PAYMENT (one of satan's lies). With unconditional love, there is no payment, no requirement, and THAT IS HARD!
Satan never gives up and, I'm sure, is very angry right now. But he's a toothless bulldog! He's been defeated!
Love and many blessings,
J
A special Thanks to J & A for allowing me to post their testimony! PTL for another restored marriage!!!
