Crazyhull Dickshunery

Make more ootayer wee turn on the hill.

Ain Own e.g., S'my bottle o Buckfastz, get yer ain.
Alex Pronounced "Aaalek" Legendary Mobile confectioner and grocer specialising in singles and strips of matches (may not have been in possesion of all original eyeballs)
Antiville Latin Anti-(against), Ville-(house or housing). Well named urban tumour that spreads south from the Churchhill Rd. For further information see Craig D Hills recent book "Where do all the smelly folk come frae? An illustrated history of Antiville and Seacourt" Available through Jack McKee publishing
Awayonwi'ye I doubt the veracity of that statement
Aye Yes
Beak Pronounced Bake, meaning of the mouth
Bru Seldom used by young Craigyhillians and popular with the long-term vocationally challenged as a term to describe the dole.
Boke Vomit
Buck The physical act of love making. e.g. 'Did ye git any buckin done last night' or 'Oh Aye. Me an 9 other buddies bucked her behin' thu gospel hall last wek'.
Cert Certainty as in horse racing. Normally preceeds a discarded limp docket and a cry of "'kenweehurye" as a cultural cleansing chant.
Claim Cash windfall which many craigyhillians attempt to attain from the government usually by tripping on loose paving stones. Most craigyhillians usually use the money to 'Get a wee motor on the road'
Diginabake Punch in the mouth
Click Bomber jacketed wealth redistribution activist, top footballer and general evolutionary zenith of Craigyhill manhood.
Dole The right of all hillians to collect the dole, a government appreciation of their stance to live in such circumstance.
Duur Hinged household appliance:  E.g. "Open the duur yeweehurye"
Heedzamarley You're not thinking very logically
Full Drunk, a favoured weekend pastime of locals.  Also enjoyed after a moderate win at the bookies
Giro Crucial method of income for hillians who have yet to discover their true vocation.  E.g.  "Weel the dole gi'es me a but of breathin space afore I hae tae get a job.  This giro's goin' on the ITV seven."
Greenland A modern equipped hi-class seat of learning where most Craigyhillians attain their highest level of education
Gerry Legendary fixed property creme egg salesman.  Apparently went bankrupt when no one bought the pathetic attempt of a tin machine gun from his shop in 1969.
Gordon As in Mr Gordon who allegedly beat the crap oot o the headmaster o Linn School over a bell ringing dispute.  (I actually saw it but was not allowed to remember the incident on threat of expulsion - I was six then)
Gi'as Give me
Keigh Pronounced "keek" milder derivative of "shite". "Dinnae gi me any u yir aul Keigh"
Lough Ian Lough, followed Gerry intae the bizness (exact number of real eyes uncertain)
Noo This instant: i.e. "I'm away oot noo"
Oot Out as in "I'm away oot noo"
Quaaarie Outside environmental damage caused by over-exploitation of limestone reserves.  Almost collapsed the hill and made them an un-whitting neighbour of the universally detested Seacuurt.
Ro-aad Stip of tarmac used for driving stolen cars on. Bonfire practice area ( Late June / Early July only)
Shaps Place located aff the green whur mature Hillians purchase their groceries.  The younger ones use it as an impromtu meeting place to smash bottles, boke on kurbstaines and other displays of local culture.
Shite Unlikely; not very good. Also "dogshite" a brown malodourous substance which occupies over 70% of "the Big greens" surface area.
Stain Stone, as in rock or to remain, as in "I'm stain in th'night"
Slabber Chap not to be believed
Stewartie Patron saint of all ice-cream men.  Apparently refused a knighthood for services to confectionery if it meant having to live ootside o Bellair Park.
Stoat Also stoater or stoch: really excellent
Tamarra The day after today. Trendy girls name which many Craigyhillian single mothers call their daughter because it 'sounds fancy'.
Thee Three
Ulserbuz International transportation company that attempts to avoid the hill as much as possible.
Wab Penis, foolish person, someone with a speech impedement talking about a person named Robert ie. "See my bwuvver Wab, he'll beat youwe shite in"
Weehurye Woman of dubious reputation. Person gettin one over his mates
Weeker See stoat
Whine The very esscence of ones existencial being. "I'll beat your whine in"
Youse Also Youseun's referring to a group of other people including you.


1 Yin
2 tae
3 thee
4 foor
5 Fife
6 Six (or sex if speaker is from southern Craigyhill)
7 'en
8 EEight
9 Nine
10 ten

We won't bother with the larger numbers as it is unlikely that the craigyhillian will have more than 10 poun in his pocket unless you get him between the post office on giro day and Eastwoods bookies..

A complete English - Craigyhilleze dictionary, edited by Henry Caruthers and Published by Penguin books is available for $4.99 at leading bookstores.

Hame Noo