Whenever there wuz sumdy at the dooor a aalways use-tae jook oot through the letter boax tae see who it was, but one time the buddy ootside the dooor had a squeegie bottle full o Fairy liquid an squirted it in ma eyes. Bastert!!!! A dinnae do that anymare! But yir letter boax has a function other than bein' a conduit by which malicious strangers can perform unprovoked ocular soap assaults, ye can get letters through it! Here are thur-y-foore,o thu thurtysumthin odd that we hae reecived up till noo , that landed on oor hall carpet.



'Bout youse,

geezus you cuda knacked me oer way Alec's van when I stumbled on the
fountain of all graffitti - the community centre - on the web. Here was
I sitting mindin me own business, watchin oot for wee slabbers tryin to
take the piss oot o my accent when the proof that I really knew all
along - that I was a morally enlightened person frae a hame with culture
and other stuff ye find on an Ian Lough yougurt - was oot there on the
internet. So I towl all me mates aboot it an they canny understand a
word o it.

They wondered why the tears were trippin me, an me face was al full o
snotters whe laughing. So I towl them they jus werney switched on
enough to get it all, but I printed them a copy o the crazyhill
dictionary to help them along the path o life - which after all is as
difficult to negotiate as a wee dander along Fairway at night.

I was even mare impressed when I found that you een had a photy of me
very own wee street there frae al to see. No bother, says I tae one o
the foreigners who live aroond these parts, that's my wee street says I,
geezus the big lump in me throat the size of wan o stewarties
gobstoppers nearly had me crying again - till I recovered me senses and
remembered that real craigyhill folk dinny cry unless they've just loost
their brew money in Barney's an it's no even Friday.

So I recovered me composure an gee the smallest yin a diginabake fur
looking funny.

Anyway - keep up the great work, the Norn Iron tourist board should be
chuffed to f##k wee the great jab your doin.

So fur noo - all the best big man - whoever ye are - oh an just wan wee
thing - maybe it's only me - but I say 3 way no R - so it sounds like
thee - remember when ya used tae ask fur thee o thee star at the mighty
Rock service station?

Okay - all the best and giás a shout if the offy's shut and you hae
noathan better tae do

A Craigyhill exile spreading the word for the good o the hill........



Hi, I have not worked who you are but I must admit I just about pissed masel laughing at
your page.

I did a poor page at www.golden.net/~des1

Maybe you know me or my family. We are the Kellys that were born at the "head o' the
town" before we moved upscale to Kent Avenue.

The names are Rosemary (55) John (53) me Dessie (younger than i look) Seamus (48)
Elish, Imelda and Angela. Yes we are (were) Cathlolic.

Your dictonary was missing " Away an' shite"

Plese email me and I will respond


Dessie Kelly


Have'nt stopped laughin' yet--Great home page!!   Our family lived at 21 then 23 then 25 Green Drive (more bedrooms-bloody taigs-keep on multiplying!).Then it was "doon the toon" to 25 the Roddens (brother Brendan still lives at 47 the Roddens) He's the guy who used to fix Zanussi washing machines and make gawdawful music at such reverent establishments as the GEC Club, the legion and Dan Campbells. Dan's is now the official Davis local still frequented by Ray (who now lives in a wee hoose on the way up to Inver)-5 mins staggering distance from Dan's!, and Tim( who now lives at 17 Killyglen road after being in Ballygally for a few years) and me when I'm home (next visit this Aug.) See you there for a pint (It'll be your round!) The Craigyhill tradition lives on! 2 of my 3 daughters still live there (Eileen at 64 Green Drive, and Martha on Green Link) You'll know Mar if you ever go out to Mattie Moore's as she works there--If you are going out there print a copy of this and she'll buy you a pint.   Keep up the good work--feel free to put this in your letters page and keep in touch!!   Long live Craigyhill!!!!   PS-- To Garron Crescent  --When I was an apprentice at Magheramorne Cement works (we're talking way back!) I worked with an electrician from Garron Crescent--His name was Norman Sharret  
Frae Terry Davis, Calgary, Cannae-da. terrydavis@sprint.ca


Save With Dave
Hello it's the big man here.  Sorry I don't sell buckfast yet but all you yins wud jest nick it.  Welcome to the big time. I'll try an' get me oan web site up at some time & I'll keep youse all informed. Your's an' all that , David Logan McGregor II.
Yes folks the Davy McGregor.

Can a message frae Stewartie be far aff??????


A message frae a rehabilitated message boy
'Bout ye big lad,
I used to be the delivery boy for Davy McGregor once upon a time many years ago.  A bit of nebutism,  you see Davy is my faither.  It kind of helped except the aul' dolls never gave me a tip because they reckoned I was getting paid enough!  I used to love delivering to Fanad Drive because the ladies there were much nicer than anywhere else.  However the whole time I was delivering groceries not once was I invited in for one of the "perks of the job" that the Dunnes Stores, Wellworths and Stewarts delivery boys always talked about.  Maybe it was because I was always wrecked after peddling and they were quite fresh from delivering in their lovely vans.
            Those Halcyon days are gone now but there's a new boy on the bike.  He probably can't do Wheelies or Bunny-Hops like Danny McAlister used to do.  But at least he's a local.
All the best and tell Matha's Da she still hasn't bought me a pint.
Rory(This is the Scottish spelling not Irish)McGregor. RoryMcGregor@btinternet.com

Anither message frae a McGregor, an he's thu only wan in 8 generations no called Davy!!!!! Them Wilsons frea the Mace hae a lot o catchin' up tae do in cyberspace, and in their reluctance tae deliver groceries usin a big black bike wae nae gears.


Just a quick line to say that I dropped by your Craigyhill site today and loved it. The only slight down side is that the pebbledashing on the opening page makes the writing wild hard to read. My sister, who is in Edmonton, pointed me at it. I still live back here in sunny Monkstown and so am not quite homesick enough to be running internet searches on "Craigyhill."
Keep up the good work.
Regards,Philip Blair.



FROM: TH3 ONLY 3V3R GOOD H4CK3R 1N L4RN3!!!! (GR4MM4R SCHOOL ROCKZ!!!!-C4N U H4CK 1T???????-1 D1D!!)

C.I.A. (Craigyhill intelligence agency) analysis o the spellin' in this message confirms that it did originate frae a Boyne Square resident an by the way sendin' sumdy an e-mail disnae exactly make ye a stoat "hacker", even folk frae Antiville could do thon! The Grammar must hae left a windae open wan night, or sumthin'!

Mair Mail!!

Bout ye Craigyhill, I misel am frae the hill and have many fond memories aff the place. I used to love being accosted by many a fine thug who roamed the estate asking people 'what are ye, prod or a taig'. I seem to remember it didn't really matter what ye answered as you still got the shite knocked oot aff ye anyway. I remember when I was a wain of about 13, walking along pushing my bike and meeting a charming young lady frae the hill. I think her second name was McOxford or something like that. i felt this blow to the back aff the heed and turned round to see this lovely wee girl smoking a cigar and snarlin at me. She sort of looked like a generic cross breed between a pit bull terrier and Mike Tyson. I loved the pictures on yer page, but I see you have missed the classic which appeared oan a gable peeble dashed wall across the green frae the shops. up oan the wall was the words 'Merry Xmas CDF' and a red hand of ulster in black and white. only prob was the hand had six fingers. But then again that is not out of the ordinary for someone from the hill to have that affliction. I have a picture of it and will send it to you if you like. Anyway I'm away doon the street tae get ful. Bobby Challanger

The Antiville Horror(s)

Bout yese lads,

Firstly let me apologise for not hailing from the Hill myself and heres hoping that this letter will be allowed to grace the hallowed pages of your site. I now reside in Scotland but originate from the Cairncastle Brae vicinity of Larne. However, if the civil unrest in Larne ever came to a heed I'd be back in a minute to fight for the Hills' cause against the scummy Antiville lot. One of my favourite not so fond memories of Craigyhill happened a gid few years ago. Me and my mates used to go up to the Green on our Grifters and BMXs to muck aboot doing wheelies n' stuff. One day we decided to go for the ultimate rush - try going right through Antiville and come out the other side alive. So we set off and within aboot two minutes we were stopped by none other than those bitchin' homeboys Billy and Geoffrey Wilson. They said " Give us a go on your bikes lads" which roughly translated as " Give us them bikes NOO or we'll smash yer heeds in " Two against two seems like an even match, but this is Billy and Geoffrey Wilson we're talking aboot here. We obliged, and they pedalled their fat arses slovenly into the sunset, that was the last we would see of our bikes, we thought. However, we found our bikes later that night in the Tech Old Boys playing fields in one piece, surprisingly enough. I never ventured into Antiville again and even to this day wouldn't enter without a flak jacket and a big bodyguard. Does anybody out there remember these two upstanding pillars of the community?
Brilliant site - keep up the good work
P.S. Name to remain anonomous cos I'd like to live a while.


Roy Beggs? Oul parker or da write, lost souls they should joined up with B.V.B.B. Got a real education. Should hae went up the chippie then doon the sunshine bar wae flaggon o' cider. Real education, it wud drive yae tae Rathcoole tae join the kai. I'll see yae doon at drains bay in the summer. Might were mae shorts an paddle mae feet.
From a true Craigyhillun


Ye's right,

When I was on a recent visit back to the homelands of Larne, a decent young Craigyhill chap offered to take me on a guided tour of the hills' latest additions - the four roondaboots constructed on the Linn Road. On first sight I thought - What's the point in all thon then - but when I considered their strategic locations a horrible premonition flashed before my eyes. These roondaboots were built by antiville scum in a plan to invade and conquer the hill. Their plan is to build a base deep within enemy territory ( antiville - doesn't even deserve a capital A ) and from here, plan assaults into the hill and try to gain a foothold roondaboot by roondaboot until at last they've captured the whole route of the Linn Road. Just in case this plan does come to anything, all hillians should be on their guard against the antiville scum and if anyone does spot any intruder in the hill who smells remotely antiville to make them kiss the annointed earth ( Linn Road ) and tell them that if they stray into Craigyhill again they will be eradicated without question. My suggestion would be to appoint Click Clarke as head of the Craigyhill infantry brigade and he should be the consultant on any punishment beatings which are to be handed out.

Greeting frae the colonies

What about ye!Yes,its another bloody Davis ( how many of the buggers are there anyway!) I was delighted to find the Hill website today (Sept.13/99) Read the letter frae my brother Terry (a bloody Alberta right wing redneck) If you meet anybody else frae the Davis clan, tell them I said hello I would loveto hear any news from the Hill. My E mail address ismusicofireland@yahoo.com (yes, Iplay whiney catholic music on the radio ,1410 CIGO AM , but dont tell anybody) I am living on beautiful Cape Breton Island ,Nova Scotia Canada Will be checking in again soon to see if theres any crack ( the Irish kind !)
Paul E. Davis, Evanston, Nova Scotia, Canada

Such Sh!te

Seen your site on a full page spread in the L.T.'s As a past resident of the 60's + 70's, very informative and brilliant.Craigyhill to a T........
John A Millar

Mind' the park

bout ye craig
what happened to thon park that yust tae hae a treehoos and the concrate pipes fur the wains tae crawl thru?
keep up the good work
Colin Butler

The story fae the other side o the big green

Jeeze hey you got a great site going here it brought back a shit load af memories, I wuz born an bred on the hill ma,sell and hail fae torr gardens half o yeeee probably dinae even no torr gardens excisted we were stuck up in the corner on the other side o the big green,wae kermichaels ferm behind us. a can still picture the wee hoose wae its metal windaes stuffed wae ole news paper and painted closed the big jaw box sink and the feelin when ye woke up in the morning yer room that cule ye coulda hung beef in it. Dae any o yeese remember the big man { craigyhills own Mr Patel } he use tae cum roon the duers selling clothes oot a suitcase yee wud see him comin doon the path and yer ma wood tell ye to tell him she wasnae in or tell you to go oot an play ! Me ma used tae buy purple and green corduroys aff him and make ye waer em until they became cordless corduroys. He had yin o those wallets that opened at both sides and used to impress all us wains by putting money in yin side and then opening the other side to show us it I behin the elastic band tae howle it in .It was nae the wallet empressed us it was the tenners hangin oota it . Then there was ole Davy Hunter the Maine man shit I still can remeber the day we stule that much lemonade aff him he was in tears I actually ended up geein mine back. Ole Jimmy Nelson the milk man would gee yee 2p noo and again I reckon he was freens wae Davy and saw this as a kinda way aff buying yur freen ship so ye woodnae steal the milk fae the durs when ye camped oot. The sweetie vans were nae better ole Dan Doran there was nae a person in the gardens liked him { the wains onnyway } his van was that high heed take yer money aff ye an throw oot some shite that was oota date ye didnae want . Stuartie wae his rings the size aff a table top and goin oot tae Alex wae yer empty coke bottles tae buy a bag o tattie crisps fur to eat whay your sugar sarnies at lunch time at skool, I dinni no about you lot but there was always a load aff coke bottles under the jaw box sink but I canny remember ever getting a glass o it tae drink! Living on this side o the green made a trip over to Gerry`s or Elliots or the hilltop chippy feel like a 2 day camel ride Wading through the muck an gutters o the big green to get there.Yer man that asked aboot the tree hoose the boys fae the bonfire might shed some light on were it got tae and as for the concrete pipes manys aday i spent curled up inside em smoking me 10 soverighn bunkin aff skool only comin oot when the smell o pish was makin me heed spin or to have a pish me sell ! Oh! the best things aboot cuming fae this side {apart fae tormenting Bucky Kermichaels ferm hand } shit that boy could run if he had the sense tae take them wellies aff he could have done the 4 minute mile nae bother ..... I didnae no anti-vile existed "a can mine me granny talking aboot it but that was it" .It was Ramore Green put the fear o god in us thinking back that was the start off the cancer that spread fae anti-vile thats now sweeping across the hill I got oot ma sell before it got too bad married a gerl fae churchill road {posh or wat } but I wood return taemorra tae defend the hill from the smelly foke fae anti-vile !
TorrGardensPosse@ aol.com


Problems getting through to your home page but it was worth it in the end ! Hysterically funny website (Who Are You ? ) I'd Like to know as I Was one of the original Boothill Village B Boys (Remember Tick Taylor & Wee Bill Saunderson )
The printer ran out of ink printing your complete home page,
Bye for now.

Bout' Yeese

Lush page, the buddy taukin aboot Geoff 'Jeffly' Wilshun brought back many a memory of the close scrapes I had with Craighyhill's answer to the Krays round Green drive and wee Elliott's shap. However it's easy to forget about Jeffly's gentlemanly side - for example in the headbuttin competion he'd always allow you first go. I seem to remember another couple a head the balls - Ronnie somethin & his wee brother who used to terrorise me & my mate round by the nursery school near Lough's. One time they made us sit in an abandoned car pretendin to drive (sound affects an all) while wee Ronnie proceeded to keek in the corner of the garage, rippin the leather upholstery from the back seat of the car to clean his dirty arse.
Hope to see you all soon,
CM,Ballycraigy Ring


Craig D and Garron I no hoo ye r. Thone piccies is o Cranfield Park, tuk frea just below the space where the Mastersons uste bait the crap oot o me ivery day. Amjoos ritin in te say that I no a couple a bois that cud get someseeEEEeereous fire power on thone roundabouts so that the smelly folk would all bedeed afore they got by robinsons shap an thone new garage place doon theLinn road. Your highly educative website does not mention the epicentre of Craigyhill's footballing history, namely Linn School football pitch.Many's the happy day I spent in the UPHILL struggle to stop Linn from scoringby virtue of kicking the shit out of the opponents and letting the ballroll down into our goal. When I first heard of the superbowl, i thought itwas a reference to the same pitch.Belfast Telegraph Cup Winner -1979 ( u11's. P.S. How are ye gettin on we the neighbours?


Even though I live in Boyne Square now, I remember my Craigyhill roots. Your site has made me kind of home sick for Ballycraigy Ring. I was one of the wee dolls (anyone who knows me will say I'm not so 'wee') who worked in Ian Lough's shap for a few years, about the time Rory McGregor was delivering stuff for his da. My friend also worked on Stewartie's hallowed van for a wee while. Many nights we spent at the shaps doing bugger all in the pissing rain waiting for Alec's van.
Glenda Lowe

Joost Wunderin'

I was just wondering if my wee brother was still living in garroncrescent. seeing you are greenland fellow you probably do not know him. He's a wee fella called Tony.Liked your site .
PS> Did you every visit the famous Larne guy Billie Craigs at www.interlog.com/~bcraig

Anither firgoten son o "The Hill"

I wuz laying in me pit the other nite thinkin aboot the good ole dayswhen the name Jethro came in tae me heed A can still taste the bergers heuse to dish oot they tasted like the gunk yer Da used to drain fae the engineaf his 15 year ole Austin Allegro.... They use to go in one end and oot theother quicker than a clean buddy passin through Anti vile A wonder wathappened to that wee ginger heeded buddy that use tae work way him a believe he`sgot a company afe his own jeeeeeeze a hope its no makin bergers !

The Blakes

I used to live on Ballycraigy Ring, but have been living in California for seven years ( no comparison of course to craigyhill ). When my Larne times arrived in the mail I found your web site address and logged on....... It made my husband ( he's Scottish but he can't help that )and myself die laughing. We will be home for a visit in April 2000 with some American friends and we intend to introduce them to the fine delights of Costa Del Craigyhill. You have a great website, keep up the good work.
Stephanie Blake

Letters Page

Craig D and Garron
I no hoo ye r. Thone piccies is o Cranfield Park, tuk frea just belowthe space where the Mastersons uste bait the crap oot o me ivery day. Amjoos ritin in te say that I no a couple a bois that cud get someseeEEEeereous fire power on thone roundabouts so that the smelly folk would all bedeed afore they got by robinsons shap an thone new garage place doon theLinn road. Your highly educative website does not mention the epicentre of Craigyhill's footballing history, namely Linn School football pitch.Many's the happy day I spent in the UPHILL struggle to stop Linn from scoringby virtue of kicking the shit out of the opponents and letting the ballroll down into our goal. When I first heard of the superbowl, i thought itwas a reference to the same pitch.Belfast Telegraph Cup Winner -1979 ( u11's. P.S. How are ye gettin on we the neighbours?
George Smith

I'm a "hillian" in "the pool"

Helo felo hilliansim a hillian who is spredin the gud wurd o the hill in liverpool, but dinny wurry cos ill be hame te smash the f*k cleen oot'e the lites on the crismas tree at the comuniti sentar ina few wekes, so nyuck us a botle'o american creem soda wen me mas no lukin an an pakit'o jaffa cakes from magregars an ill be doon te the comuniti sentar tetho' snobals we stones in at passingud folk
forevur a hillian
the great one_______

Ginger Heid

In response to your letter concerning Jethro the burgerman! I am the wee ginger heided fella who used to work on jethro's van I thought that I had a fantastic job with excellent prospects when I was serving the public quarter pound Jethro special burgers ( the special part was that Jethro used to go to the toilet in the onion bucket) Alas, poor Jethro went to the great McDonalds in the sky, mainly due to the stress caused by bankruptcy & being caught by a member of the public peeing in the sink. The reason that he went bankrupt was mainly due to a family of gipsys who lived at that time in Torr Gardens ( Your readers might remember them as the Mingin McFauls) Time & Time again they stole lemonade & Burgers from Poor auld Jethro , Knowing full well that he was too fat to chase after them. I'm Not sure what happened to that family , but I' ve heard that the oldest son is serving time in the crumlin road jail For committing an offence concerning a Guinea Pig , A tub of stork margerine And an electric nosehair remover !

You are such a dickhead!!!

you seem to know nothing about the town as past number of years,obviously you have been away somewhere, i really dont know, nor do i give a shit, you seem to be from your article,quite a hood if you dont mind the expression, from what i can gather you deserved much more than you got, you seem a very unhappy person in your outlook on life, YOU JEST ABOUT THE POLICE IN THE TOWN AND BEATING THE RAP. the police provide a very good and vital service to the town,maybe you should learn from your past experience. maybe if you stopped telling so many lies people might believe you, but from what i know you will always be a first class liar, you know what happened to tam pepper, he was thrown out of hell for telling so many lies,but it seems to run in yous. I have straightened out the truth with quite a few people that you told lies to about myself and greg but i do have to see your mother in law ma mc cluggage,and put her straight, and david lyttle, but it will happen. all i can suggest to you is stop telling lies and get a life
from ac
An' they think they've got a drugs problem in Ballymena!!


I remember going to Jethros and listening to the sound of GlenCampbell,then moving on to the Von Rey for a glass of hot orange and the sound of the BeeGees.Next the Silver Lounge but I laughed and got thrown out to thesound of "Hold me tight" then on to the Floral-my Aunt from America left atip of half a crown.I went past the Bamboo as everything was stoat in thereand went up to the Step Inn for a poke of chips.I liked the Bonne Bouche ifI wanted to listen to Fleetwood Mac.I then had to climb the Roddens andsit for a minute at the top (just past Hawthorn Hill) on the seat kindingplaced by the council and then on home to Craigyhill.I'm trying to rememberthe chip shop on Pound street ,was it Ferguson's?Kind
regards, Ruth

Jeffely/ Craigyhill singles club

Further to the Wilson (piano burner) stories. a fellow Craigyhillian passed this story on to me... "I wuz down the street one nignt enjoying a quiet bottle a Merrydown (gold label mind!) when Jefley Wilshun came up an sez "I'll bet ye a tenna I lite this lighta ten times out off ten!". I sez "Na, yer alrigh Jeffrey" but he goes on an does it anyhow. Then he's sayin' "Giz a tenna oua'll kick youra arse!". I saysz no...... so he does!" A friend, not me ofcourse, wants you to advertise his/her vacancy in the love department.You 'll have to start up a dating page! "YOUNG (31) horny loyalist-cum-republican looking for a soul mate (Female...I hope!), anything goes - as long as yer close to the big green. No Christians/7th Day Adventists. Must have car parking facilities (excluding Carnfunnock)"
Name withheld for own safety.

Cool s(h)ite

i am rob from Ballygally and have just seen your site. i heard it was great in school and thought i would give it a try. love the bie about ian lough you should make it bigger. i was visitor 5514 i will pass the site address on to my mates

Australian Invitation

Hi to everyone in Craigyhill,
The Brits thought they were dishing out punishment when they rounded up every Irishman they could find and shipped him off to Australia. Little did they know that the behaviour they disliked - getting pissed, poking fun at authorities, gambling and the odd bit of theft - would flourish under the hot southern sun. Oh the horror of it all - sun, sand, surf, cheap food and beer, a racecourse or two in every town, - we're sorry, but some of us have to endure the punishment. Of course, the six month journey in a sailing ship did wrench us away from contact with our nearest and dearest and made family reunions a bit difficult (except for those who secured passage on the same ship). The only chance we seemed to get to visit the motherland was when a visiting rugby/cricket team came over to bash shit out of the Poms and nip across the Irish Sea to drink Guinneas and perve at the local womenfolk. But now the Internet is reestablishing communication. So, in the interests if brotherly bonding I am hereby extending an invitation for any Craigyhillians who can defraud the Social Security or otherwise come up with the cash to secure a plane ticket to come and stay with us in beautiful Sydney. You could sleep on the couch or we can fix up a bed out the back in the old chook shed. It's a bit smelly but the lice have mostly gone since a council ordinance banned us from keeping chickens about six months ago and the carpet snake in the rafters ensures that mice are few and far between. If you want to see the country I'll arrange for you to stay with my cousin Des. He lives in a caravan park at Dubbo and reckons there's plenty of room out the back where all the stolen cars get dumped. Some of those old bangers have back seats big enough to house the Brady Bunch, or any big Catholic families looking for a rood over their heads. Entertainment is non-stop - 'roo shooting, swiming in the dam, yabby fishing and dingo howling competitions. They reckong the sex is good out there in the bush, too, though unwanted pregnancy can be a problem. Us Catholic lads would be used to pulling out when we're "on the vinegar stroke", but this can be risky out at Dubbo as the flies have been know to spread your seed into those very places that you were trying to avoid. So if any of you lily white Irish lads can get through the doors at Mascot Airport (we lose a lot of visitors on the way cos most airlines offer a Bankok stopoff with enough time for a trip to Patpong Road), drop in to our place. We're three doors down from the bookie's place opposite Randwick Racecourse. Ask Dooreen in the pub. She'll set you right (you might even get offered a night in her boudoir if you wash before going in the see her).
Bruce "DRONGA" Driscoll

Stuff aboot sum dug

When we where wains there wis this wee dog roond knockdhu park called rex. It f*ckin bit al ah us. So one day to get it back we came up way ah plan. It used tae sit ootside its hoose on the dirstep see one day when it wasnae there we went an collected a big pile ah dog shite and left it on rex's dirstep. The owner when they found the shite kicked le f*ck clean oot sh rex. It was brilliant. Rex has been deed for aroond 10 years noo.

Thu Hunt

News flash the predator of Craigyhill is back or which one is it. On entry to a dwelling one evening,I discovered a smell to which I concluded to be the roasting aroma of a Hair. On questioning the occupants,asked who would do such a inharmonious deed. The reply DON,T KNOW. A yarn was afoot,no one kknew who done it. One said he did it another said he done it . Questions after questions the plot thicken. As I was climbing over a fence it was just lying there. Another said it was Gary another said it was Johnny. I could not take it no more.So I left disheartened knowing a tale had beed told. Half way up the road not all the way up knor all the way dooon I said to my self or who I though was myself I will go back and see who is devouring the said hair as in lovely furry little rodent. Aha it was Billy,but he was not on the hunt. As being caught red handed he confessed,it was Gary but Gary said no. In my case I believe it was Johnny

Doggone it!!

Jack the Rottweiler apparantly was seen riding Davy MeGreigger's Big Blake Bike arroon the green yin er two weeks ago! Just whit is the world comin'tae?
Mbona Nachecka

Bout ye!!!

What aboot ye's all. I was just takin a wee gander at yer web page and te be honest ye kno, I thought the thing was bloody great. Ye kno, I still hadae try and learn the lingo yet, I did hail frae Larne a wee while ago, but noo I live in that bloody Scootland place. I still dinnae know if this here oul lingo is right yet, but dinnae be blaming me if I get her wrong. I think that Craighill place is full o nutters, and ye kno I think I'll come hame for a wee swallae or thee. I take it te place is still full o nutters and great bloody bars for a wee swallae o thee? Anyway I hope that ye's are all surviven anyway, and dinnae be lettin them oul seacourt scum detract frae your bloody great web page.
Allister McCune

Anither "stoat site" type e-mail!!

I just found the craigyhill web page and I want to let you know that I had a good laugh ,thanks I neeeded that!Im not from Larne but I did live down the raod a bit in Ballyclare,the people there talk with an accent similar to that of the craigyhill natives,me being from belfast thought I had moved to scotland when I moved there,but got used to the lingo fairly quick,in belfast they say keek,not keigh,so we have something in common.I hope you continue to update this site as I DID ENJOY IT,I had been in larne many times in the 70s playing football,I played for Parkview from Doagh and we always beat the larne teams and that other place,up the road,carnlough,and there was a place not far from larne,ballycarry,we kicked the shite out of them too,seriously,I can relate to the people of craigyhill as I lived in belfast under similar conditions,I am now in Canada and doing allright,hope you keep the page going and the best of luck to yez all.!!
John WIlson (Canaeda)

Anither "yir page is keigh, ye dinnae update it etc" type e-mail

Boutye',have ye stapt doin the websight or wat,I foond this site and was lukin for'd to seein somthin evry week.Wud it be safe for a non 'hillian to come and visit in May,Id love to stand up at the shaps and skull a few kestrel wi the locals.Forgive my attempts at writing the way yous talk,I am from the big city and have a different set of words for somethings.Words such as keek, were used by myself and others way back,keeked the bed was a well used one!! I think you have got a great grasp of the dialect in craigyhill,I can see it now ,kicking the big wembley trophy up against the shap windies,another word used in Belfast,Ill put yer windies in!!I ENJOYED THE WIND CRIES STEWARTIE,being a big fan of Hendrix,I printed it out and gave it to a couple of Canadian co workers,I had them believin it really happened(it didnt,did it?)onyway,hope you udate the site as I like to read it ,especially the soap opera bit,and mair letters too.

All the best John Wilson,(Canada)


Yer site is brill. I nearly keeked m' breeks laffin.
-- Harry Platt

Right bae!!

ach hows it goin, I've just come back from a vist to a mae ma an da in Knockdhu Park, being born and bred in the hill i was f*ckin gutted to see the shaps gan, the 13th wonder of the hill, those new ones are f*ckin shite. What has heppened to Alec Cairns then, he yuse to remind me of boss hog, what a f*ckin entrepreneur, a whole harem of beautiful female assistants and a mobile sweetie shop, owl Alec knew what he was at. Although it was fuckin frightenin when he would take off with yae still in the shap and you would end up on churchhill road...f*ckin nightmare. Well I've moved on from the hill now, I've ended up in Surrey, workin in a while f*ckin fancy place bae, they cannae drink a tal an think i'm an alchy. Keep updatin the site for all us far away from the hill, it cheers me up no end, fuckin great bae.

Gareth Mc Farlane (Farley! to yae)
Electronic Arts
Surrey(not a f*ckin hill in site)


Thon's a quair guid sicht hae - yiz'll hiddae dae mair o thaim!



Thon's a quare wee web page ye hae don an' A wis lauchin' fit till brust at the whole concoction so A wus. A've been sprachelin' about ower the web fer a wheen o' years bit nivver did A hae sich a refreshin' bit o' lauchin' as whin a frien' writ till me an' said "go luk at the Craigyhill page." A huv tae own, the scriever o' the page is a wit, an' wan o' the bess extrapolators avb Ulsther craic A hae ivver met. A houl ye fer a shillin' it's himsel'll be readin this screive an' a' A kin say till him or her is "Ye hae done good, now keep up the good wark."

Sincerely, this was most enjoyable indeed!

Rev. Aaron R. Orr D.D.
Hamilton Ontario Canada

Falling over here laughing

Hi there, this morning a fella posted your URL to the Ullans list, claiming your website was in some kind of urban Ullans. I have my serious doubts about these characters on the Ullans list (they wonder about me sometimes too); however his post in nice, adult, educated English almost caused me to post notice, sight unseen, to my own list, the world famous "Scotch Irish" list (genealogy and history). It has about 900 cousins on it. However on second thought I decided to take a look. Wow was I glad as just last week the wee cousins had started a terrible row over a Canadian paster who got siezed by the spirit or maybe had a diarhea attack (I wasn't impressed) and posted this religious testimonial to the list. I was all for ignoring it, though some of the cousins were not. Some loved it and some hated it. They were all it seemed willing to fight about it forever. Besides having to endure their posts and the posts of the people trying to pour oil on the water and the ones threatening to quit the list, not to mention the asshole who posted an incredibly bigotted post to the list which somehow started a nasty thread about whether religion was or was not behind all the troubles in NI (and elsewhere on the planet), as well as you also had people claiming THIS (whatever this was) was the cause of ALL the troubles (even Bosnia???) and the lady in Islandmagree who felt that in trying to act my proper role (The Bouncer) that I was suppressing religion, kinda like Tony Blair, I suppose, but that I wouldn't be doing this if it was Catholics or Moslems who posted (though none of them do get out of line on the list or I would). The thought of what your website, especially the nasty lady link would do, made me ALMOST want to post it, but only if I was about to take a long vacation away from the computer forever and get a new address. Some of these religious people would really go on the rampage. I really enjoyed your website and did share it with some choice friends. Newcomers to the Scotch Irish list sometimes remark that we seem to have all the humor that the Irish are noted for, but are afraid to show for fear of offending someone on the Internet. Heck, not us. Afraid of offending someone? Hah! It's the same kinda dark humor. However it sure does cause a lot of fights.

The "Scotch Irish" list bouncer,
Linda Merle

Here's sum Ullans addresses'ss for them off ye that can read, it's a wile sin god forgive me, ah know ye's all hit yir heed when ye were burlin roon on them bars ootside the chip shap!!

Rude Zone

Keigh : Pronounced "keek" milder derivative of "shite". "Dinnae gi me any yir aul Keigh"

Laughed my ass off!!!

(My name's pronounced 'Kay', by the way)

-- Keigh

I don't mind life passing me by...I just wish it wouldn't throw things.

He's no bin rite since they knocked doon his oul shop

Whit's wrang wae bein' Davy McGregor XVI?

By the way, here's a photie o' the big yin. He may be fifty this year but he's still a big hit wae the wee dolls. Dinnae be fooled by the ful heid o' hair...
Click fir pick...an flick!!

Davy McGregor (The 3rd)

Confirmation of Big Davy's stoatness
Davy McGregor rools, like! One time, he callt me a "chick" cause I was the only gurl - a man wi' a bit'o'class - thats what a like te sae. I hinnae seen him in years, like. Yer site beats the shite oot o thon Roy Begg's yin - magine ye woke up as him the morra, ye'd heade' jump o' the ruf o' the Smiley Buildunts jist tae save humanitty. I'm awae doon Poundstretchers wi the wa'ins for a wheena things - Davy has run oota them big packets aw Bombay Mix my Mammy likes. See ye la'er

Yir man John Wilson again!!
Have not been on the web for a while nor visited the site.I was back in Ballyclare in May went to Craigyhill,didnt see anybody about the shaps so I drove on.Would like t get in touch with Rob Mills ,the one who races pigeons and used to work in Fleck Concrete in Ballyclare.Rob ,if you read this or hear about it,try and e mail me or call 613- 549-8563 DONT reverse the charges ,YOU HAVE MAIR MONEY THAN SENSE!!,I would like to hear from you,there has been a lot of water under the bridge since I last saw you.Are you still trying to race pigeons?Do you remember the time I brought you up to my loft to see the BULLET? and it hadnt come home from the toss,still waiting for it 12 years or so later.If any of you reading this know Rob,let him have the phone number to call me as I would like to get in touch with him again.
All the best to Craigyhillians everywhere,John Wilson,, Canada


dunno if you still keep it up uh, not what i meant eh er, I mean I'm not sure you still maintain the site but I laughed my head off at it (I think ya've affected my English)
Victoria Cochran


I recently discovered your website and thought it was absolutely brilliant.BeFore I got married I was Alison Rodger, wee sister of Anne the scottish ginger one who used to work in Fultons shoe shop in the town and Linda Rodger who used to work in Elliots shop in Cairncastle Road, now married to Andy Gardiner. I'm living in a small village in Buckinghamshire now (surrounded by the English unfortunately) and your website really lifted my day in this dreary old place.Most of you will probably most likely remember me as the ginger one that used to get you lot your carry oots in the Winemark in one of those lovely blue aprons! Hopefully I'll be introducing my husband to the delights of Craigyhill very soon,with my 10 week old son (named after Sammy Drummond of course) Sam who I'd like to grow up with a good Craigyhill accent rather than a poncy English accent like his father!!! Anyway keep up the good work. Cheers
Alison Badger ( email: alisonbadger@yahoo.com)

Cracker site mate.

Laughed my ass off looking at it. I knew a few folks from Craigyhill - but I haven't seen them in a couple of years. Nuff said on that one. Believe it or not, I was pointed to your site by a friend who lives in South Carolina - so there ye hae it biay...all the way fra Craigyhill to South Caroliney. Cheers.
John Hagan

Yuze are wile!!

Ur site is a while laugh boy!! but I thought that there would maybe be a flick or2 of some of the residents of the hill, maybe a wee update wouldnee go miss!!!??? Craigyhill know goes by the name "THE BRONX" name to remain disclosed or ill likely be asked to stay behind at the burger van on Saturday night for the knee capping competition!!!!
From "K"


found this site by pure luk lived in torr gardens many years before moving to scotland no. 6 eyes are still watering with the laughing. some memories of the hill ski sunday on the hill of the gardens. and loads of maine never forget that anyone remember the big orange transit "danny". alec with his mobile tower block and 3 ring heater on full blast i think that was to lossen the cloths of many of his staff all 1000 of them.
joe hunter

Bokin' = Keul

craigyhill is really cool the other nite i saw fur people bokin on the kerbstains and tae shaps beimg robbed and then i jumped in tae a knucked car that was a load of keigh
the laddies

on ye go ye boy ye!

bloody good site! i may have been in australia now for the past 18 years or so but am still a craigyhill girl at heart. loved all the pics especially the ones of mcgregors - that takes me back i can tell ye. my hubby is ferris park born and bred and his best larne memory is chucking stones over the graveyard into sallagh park - and winning!! i'm from shanlea drive and they never should have built those flashy houses on the farmland out the backs - makes no sense. anyway i've blethered on enough for one email. if any of you craigyhill mob are out brisbane way call in and say g'day and to you lot running this mad website - keep up the good work. rock on dudes
tommy surgenor

Mair Beggggss scandal!!

I don't know whether or not you notice - I just twigged when I saw the new election posters recently. Never mind the "dump" scandal, but hasn't Roy Beggs been moonlighting as Pat Butcher's husband on Eastenders. He didn't even change his first name to appear. I must admit, he puts on a reasonable cockney accent!
Cheers, Sm*%t.

Mir newdiddy please? Like fannys an that.

As a exCraigyhillian noo livin in South Africa I find yoor web page very interesting and fanny.I wish yoo ha d more fotografs o topless girls. I like the artical about fat Jeff
D. Bell

Nae Shaaaaaps!!

I wuz down past the shaps the uther day- an guess whaat?? they've ****** aff!! I thought--"Mibee sumbody's moved them, yunno, jus like on the telly where they move things a bit at a time. But surely me Ma wooda toul me". So where'd they go tae? Tell me them eejits frae antiville did'ny steel them away fer theresels. Mibee that uther eejit Roy Beggs used them fer a landfill - but then he wuznae too bright when I wuz at Greenland! "Be sure yur sins will find ye oot" That's what me Ma always toul me
Answers on a postcard please,
An Oul Craigyhillian.


Larne Borough Council have made a very strong bid to the International Olympic Committee for the choice of venue for the 2008 games. An interim itinerary and list of events has been drawn up and a leaked copy is reproduced below:
The Olympic flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb thrown by a native of the town wearing the traditional costume of Kappa coat, tracksuit bottoms, baseball cap and scarf mask. It will burn for the duration of the games in a BT van situated on the roof of the stadium.
In previous Olympic games Larne competitors have not been particularly successful. In order to redress the balance some of the traditional events have been altered slightly to the advantage of local athletes.
Competitors will have to hold a video recorder and a microwave oven (one under each arm) and on the sound of the siren three uniformed RUC riot officers will be released from a Land Rover 10 yards behind the athletes.
As above but with added obstacles, e.g. car bonnets, hedges, garden fences, walls etc.
Competitors in this event may choose the type of hammer they wish to use (claw, sledge, etc.). The winner will be the one who can cause the most grievous bodily harm to members of the public within the time allowed.
This is the only event specifically for the young people in which they destroy as many fences as possible in the one street within a given time period.
A strong challenge is expected from the local men in this event. The first target will be a moving police vehicle with the second round of the competition aiming at a joy rider, drug dealer or next door neighbour against whom they harbour a grudge.
Entry into this event will be restricted to husband and wife teams and will take place on a Friday night. The husband will be given 15 pints of Guinness while his wife will be instructed not to make him any food when he gets home. The bout will then commence.
Competitors will be asked to break into the local school bike shed and take an expensive mountain bike owned by some mummy's boy from The Woods. All done against the clock.
Amended to include mugging, breaking and entering, flashing, joy riding and arson.
Competitors will be thrown off the flyover into the Inver river and the first three survivors back will decide the medal positions.
Unfortunately this event will have to be cancelled as the police cannot guarantee the safety of anyone walking the streets of Larne.
Entertainment will include formation rave dancing by the members of Rafter's Nite Club and synchronised brick throwing from the young locals. The Olympic flame will be extinguished by someone dropping an old washing machine onto it from the top of the flats. The stadium will then be boarded up before the local athletes break into it to remove all the copper piping and the central heating boiler.
Mbona Nachekka

Him again!!!

I was wondering if John knows a Samuel Wilson from Ballyclare. He was a classmate of mine at Larne Tech back in the 60's. He'd be about my age now (49). I also now live in Canada (Alberta) but I'm presently working in Newfoundland. e-mail terrydavis@canada.com Regards Terry Davis PS Ex Craigyhillian...See my letter on the letters page (note that letter has my old e-mail address which is no longer valid.)
Davis, Terry

RE: Add a URL to larne.com

I personally love your site, having come across it about a year or so ago but something tells me that the Borough Council won't ask me to add this one ;-( Sorry
Norman Blackburn,
Technical Director