In Loving Memory of

Matthew Lawrence

10-30-97 thru 12-11-97

My husband and I have been married for 7 years and have two daughters, Danielle 5 and Delaney 3. We decided to complete our family with one more special blessing and conceived our third child very quickly. My pregnancy progressed with no major problems just the usual nausea that I had with the other two. When I went for my routine ultrasound at 19 weeks everything looked fine and we were so excited to find out we were going to have a son.

At my regular OB visit a week before my due date my Dr. discovered that my baby was in the breach position. Both of my daughters were vaginally delivered and I did not want a C-section, so my Dr. and I decided that I would go into labor and delivery the following morning Oct. 30, 1997 and that he would try to manually turn my baby head down with the help of an ultrasound tech. and the nurses. He was successful in turning my baby and them proceded to induce my labor with pitocin and breaking my water.

I labored most of the day without much progression. They said my baby was a little lethargic and that it might be best if the Dr. went ahead and did a c-section. I was so scared but knew that my Dr. knew what would be best and I just wanted my baby safe in my arms.

Within 20 minutes I was prepped and ready for OR. At 7:06 p.m. on Oct. 30, 1997 my son Matthew Lawrence was born. At the time we decided on a c-section I told my Dr. to tie my tubes, because we were happy with our family. Within minutes of his birth they had told my husband to stop video taping they had to resusitate him they wrapped him in a blanket and brought him over to me and said "here is your son" and took him out of the room and my husband followed. I thought this was normal procedure for a c-section so I was not that concerned. Then I thought it was sort of strange that I did not hear his wt. and ht. and I started asking questions to the anesthesiologist. He told me that my baby would be fine but that they had to bring in a special neonatal Dr. from another hospital to look at him. Then I was terrified and felt so alone.

My Dr. finished me up and as they were wheeling me into my recovery room I saw my husband standing there with tears in his eyes and I knew it wasn't good. My Dr. followed me into the recovery room and told me that they did an X-Ray on Matthews heart and that it was as big as his whole chest cavity and that they were going to have to transfer him to a NICU about 20 minutes from where I was. My husband and I held eachother and cried. How could this be happening to good parents like us. It was a nightmare. They brought Matthew in for a brief minute in his transport bed and I got to touch his little tummy for a second and then my husband followed the ambulance to the other hospital. That night I was so numb. By the time Matthew was 1 day old we had learned that he had a congenital heart defect "Epstiens Anomoly" and that it was the worst case they had ever seen at this very prestigious hospital. We were told that Matthews only chance of survival would be a heart transplant. They said that this was a fluke and that it probably developed before I ever knew I was pregnant and that the only way it could have been detected was with a third stage ultrasound, which they had no need to do one.

I was not able to be with Matthew until he was 3 days old, because of my c-section. When I finally got there I was in complete shock and despair. He had to be put on a heart lung bypass machine called ECMO and was unable to be held. All we could do was touch him and talk to him and be there for him. We met the the transplant coordinators at a major transplant hospital and Matthew was put at the top of the national donar list. Now all we could do was hope and pray that a heart would come in time.

We spent everyday with our son and were lucky to have many close family and friends to care for our two daughters. We went public with our plea for a heart to get the word out about how important organ donation is. We did everything we could. Matthew hung on for 6 weeks in which time he touched so many lives.

On Dec 11, 1997 we were told that due to Matthews Phenomonia that he had gotten and other things beginning to go wrong due to the length of time he had been on the machine that he would no longer be a candidate for a donar heart, time had run out. We knew it was time to say goodbye. I finally got to hold my precious son in my arms. I could go on and on about the 6 weeks in which we had him. He was so precious. We held him and loved him all day and our daughters were also there to kiss their baby brother goodbye. He died in my arms at 6:45p.m. almost exactly 6 wks. to the minute that he was born.

My life has been changed forever having loved this little boy for too short of a time.

Please take a moment and Sign My Guestbook Thankyou!

Here are a few links to some friends of mine who also lost a child.

Go To "Taylor's Page"
In Memory of Brandy Mae

Here is the link to Brandy Mae's Home Page There you will find a few poems and etc..

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